Discussions with DHs re homebirth

[Kitt3n]

Hi Ruth,

My MW says that generally the ladies who are transferred are first time mums who havent fully prepared themselved for the pain of birth...... who then stress out.

There is always a chance that the baby could be stressed (but your MW will pick up on this) and, having had no drugs, you will be much more in tune with your body and will have much more of a sense if something IS actually wrong.

I don't know the actual stats unfortuantely, but I have to say read, read, read - knowledge is power and this will be the time of your life that you need more inner power than ever!

If you start arming yourself with knowledge now you will have an amazing pregnancy from day one.

I would watch BOBB now, why wait?

Slowly start reading one or two books, save the rest to enjoy while you are pregnant.... I have read

"New Active Birth".... MW also ensured DH read chapter 6 (crap, i think it was chapter 6) as she called this the "bible" of home births.
Hypnobirthing - the mongon method (if this doesnt make you feel so damn sure about homebirth nothing will! It left me with a sense of such inner peace!). Womans voice on CD is bloody annoying though
Birth Your Way - lots of good stats and info in that one
25 Ways to unlease your birth power - its just cute, full of affirmations and a "good feeling" vibe. I'd save this one for the end of your pregnancy
Men at Birth - stories of men and how they each handled birth differently

Most of these books were recommended to me by Kelly - and you can get most of them here on BB!

I guess, for now, I would suggest you watch BOBB and read Birth Your Way ....... chances are your MW will have the other books (and much more) to loan to you as part of your care.

[Cricket]

I heard the same as Kitt3n - most of the transfers are for pain relief. But I didn't hear exactly what the percentages are.
One slightly related bit of information I came across - women who transfer from home for a c-section are typically in surgery faster than those labouring at the hospital to start with. (Bizarre, eh?) I think it was something like 30 minutes from decision to section to surgery for home-birthing mums, and 45 minutes from decision to surgery for hospital-birthing ones.

[paradise lost]

These are general stats...from lots of countries collapsed together and thus not hugely specific.

Transfer rate is about 35%. That is 35% of ALL women have to transfer.

"Transfer" means "go to hospital" - it can be a post-birth transfer too, it's just if the birthing is not completed in its entirety at home, ok? So if you give birth and tear and have to transfer for repair that's a transfer. If you have retained placenta, that's a transfer. If bubs has something that needs paed attention immediately (talipes, suspected DS, cleft palate etc.) that's a transfer.

Of the 35%, 70% are first time mothers, and of THEM about 85% transfer for epidural pain relief or because their labour is very long and they are exhausted and wish to have augmentation. The remainder of the total who transfer do so for obstetric or paediatric need. I THINK that the overall c-section rate for those who transfer is about 30-40%, but you need to remember that some of those sections will be for failure to progress (failure to wait) followed by failed induction. Women who DO transfer usually do so for intervention because either they can't cope with the pain or they need obstetric medical help.

Things like death and injury are recorded as being where the complication occured. If the cord prolapses at home it's a home prolapse, if the labour is long and mum goes in for epidural and augmentation and bubs gets distressed it's hopsital foetal distress.

HTH

Bx

[sunshine_sieben]

So, what does the little note in your siggie mean? 5w 1d?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see the little angel symbol next to it, my computer must not have loaded it the other day. I'm sorry for your loss!
Saša

[BekZ]

Thanks for information ladies. I will start by reading a book or two...I have quite a few months to decide

[sunshine_sieben]

That is great news, that your DH doesn't seem to object all that much anymore. It's a good sign. You might be able to wear him down, and who knows, get him on your side eventually. I hope so!

Yes, you can definitely give birth in your corner spa or even in a bath tub.
I general birth pools are pretty deep so you can immerse yourself pretty deep and take advantage of the weightlessness. This was the big thing for me: not having to hold up my own weight as I had no desire to lie down whatsoever. They are also of a fair size so you can move around and find a position that is comfortable. The one I used also had a few steps in it which helped with different positions.
I have heard of people buying one of those cheap above ground pools (well, not cheap, but costing about $200). There are also places that hire out birth pools. These are all things your MW will be able to help you with. She can point you in the right direction.

Saša

[lilmisshavachat]

Hi Ruth08 and BekZ... I googled homebirth Queensland and there are a couple of really interesting sites with some awsome birth stories and also some contacts for private midwives... There is also an american company that sells birth pools and assorted things and maybe check out the pools dimensions as I believe a deep pool is the most beneficial...Yep.. You guessed it.. I have way too much time on my hands... Good luck ladies..
Dee

[Sara-May]

Imagine if you gave birth to a daughter and what you taught and gave her as a home birthing mother was for her to know that birth is natural and not to be feared.. We could have a new generation of children who carry on the perfectness that nature created..

Hi everyone,

I am new to posting on here, but I just saw this comment, and guess what, this is me! I was a hospital birth, but my 2 siblings were born at home. I was seven when my brother was born and fourteen when my sister was born. I witnessed both births and was lucky enough to cut the cord for my sister.
I am 20 weeks pregnant now, and only wish that we were in the financial position to have a HB. I think it is absolutely disgusting that I have to pay for a HB, but can have a hossy birth for free! But I am booked into a lovely hossy with a reputation for being non-interventionist. They have the facilities for water birth which I am very excited about.
I guess what I am trying to say is that seeing my mother give birth twice made me feel no fear, either at the time or now. I look forward to my impending birth as a rite of passage, and a deeply spiritual experience....
Now we just need to make sure we save up before my next pregnancy so I can have the HB I really want!

[Cricket]

Welcome Sara-May! Glad to have you here on BellyBelly. Thanks so much for sharing your story, and I hope you have a great birth!
About waterbirth and birth tubs - I gave birth at home in my own bath. It was quite nice, but I can't compare it to an actual birth tub. I've never tried one of those. My bath is a large corner tub with whirlpool jets (which we used in labour, about until I started pushing - they were wonderful!) I sat semi-reclined against one of the sides of the tub, and never budged - you couldn't have moved me with a truck. It was exactly where I wanted to be.

[BekZ]

thanks so much Lilmiss

[paradise lost]

My friend had both of hers in her corner tub, mainly because she got in there just before transition for pain and emotional relief (warm water comforts on EVERY LEVEL), and when it came time to push she couldn't be bothered getting out....lol.

Bx

[sunshine_sieben]

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt. Didn't get in there to give birth, but once I was in the water, nothing was getting me out of there.

[Bloom]

Just thought I'd update everyone that thanks to your insights and comments, DH is now willing to meet with midwife when we get a BFP to discuss homebirth! Woo hoo! We are on track! Our frostie transfer is coming up in December so hopefully we will be seeing a midwife in January if we get a BFP then!

I think that presenting him with just a little bit of research every now and then, not saying that we are going to definately have a homebirth or being stubborn about it, and just asking him to be open to exploring the idea with the midwife has made a big change in his attitude. My secret feeling is that we will be going ahead with a homebirth when the time comes if all the indications for it are good (i.e. low risk preg etc).

Thanks again team!

[Kitt3n]

ruth that is great news!!!

best wishes for your transfer!!!!!

[Cricket]

Good to hear Ruth! Hope all goes well for you guys with the transfer!

[Bloom]

Nooooo!!!!! Now we have a DH is reneging on the homebirth. He has gone back to saying "it's not safe"! I, on the other hand, have my heart set on it!

I want to contact the MW and arrange an "introductory visit" but DH says that would be a waste of her time as he doesn't want a HB and doesn't trust the MW to give accurate information regarding safety of HB (i.e. she isn't impartial). Any advice?

Also, does anyone know, with having an introductory visit, are you oblidged to pay the MW for this if you don't end up going ahead with her? Would she mind coming to visit us if DH wasn't entirely on board?

TIA

[Cricket]

Oh that's really lousy Ruth! Not fair at all. But I can see that your DH is probably feeling a little overwhelmed at this point - the reality of pregnancy and fatherhood is probably still pretty shocking. He might come around in time. In the mean time, you could print off or have him read some of the birth stories here on BB where things went wrong because of interventions at the hospital - ie. failed induction, augmented labour, unwanted examinations, unwanted episiotomy, unnecessary c-sections, drugged groggy babies, disappointed mothers, etc. There are lots, unfortunately. Then, let him have a look at the homebirth stories, and compare. Do your own research online, and show him the results. Look for the information on the situation in Holland, where a large percentage of births are homebirths.
As far as paying the midwife goes, I'm sorry, I can't help you out there. The system works differently here in Canada. However, I can tell you that my midwife asked me right off the bat if my DH was in favour of midwifery care, and homebirth. It would not have changed her decision to care for me - their theory is, my body, my baby, my birth - however, it would let them know what kind of situation they would be coming in to. They also encouraged me to take along any disapproving family members to a prenatal appointment, so that they could see the quality of care that the midwives provide.
Hope you are able to have the birth you want, and that your DH supports you all the way! Congratulations on your pregnancy!

[Ellibam]

these are my 2 birthstories!
although my first didnt end up with a c/s it was very tramatic for me who wanted the all natural birth. my DH was worried more about me then the delivery like most men they dont like to see us in pain so think drugs are good... when it isnt what we want.

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...rief-long.html

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...s-arrival.html