Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345 LastLast
Results 55 to 72 of 84

Thread: Drug-Free Birth

  1. #55

    Default

    Kelly, I really want to get someone in - in fact, I have a list of doulas and midwives in the area I could contact! My DH refuses to let me spend the money though - actually, this really pees me off as he's just been talking about buying another tool with a friend: we don't need that and we are starting to need nursery furniture! I have pointed that out to him! He's also being a pain about going to the birth centre, but if I don't get in there then I'm having a home birth so TS on him wanting a hospital. Luckily the birth centre can't give me an epidural or a c-section; just gas and air, and I'm going to have on my birth preference sheet that if I ask for them, I am to be told how much longer I have to go and not given them if it's only a short time or I'm in transition. Also not to listen to my DH at all.

    As for "abuse" - if I say to my mother "oh, just shut up, won't you?" that's enough for her to get the huff for a month. So I do have to watch what I say very carefully around her! I don't want her anywhere near me when I'm vunerable anyway: she's already lectured me on the joys of weaning at 7 months, how to "top-up feed" because babies don't always want the breast..., and gets upset when I say that's not what's recommended these days and not what I'll be doing, please don't feed my baby! Hmm, maybe I should ask the zoo where they get those signs made...

    I'm just prepping myself for a "go it alone" experience right now; I know I'll have no/little support and at least I can deal with it if I get my head around it: my DH may come round but I really doubt it (he's only just started stroking the bump, so it will take a few months more before he's ready to do birth-stuff).


  2. #56

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    Posts
    8,980

    Default

    What about a student - usually free? Will he even meet with one and chat with you both no strings attached?
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  3. #57

    Default

    I don't know, I'll certainly look into it though. If it's free he might go for it.

  4. #58

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    481

    Default

    Hi Ryn

    I had a natural, drug free birth with my daughter. My labour was only 7 1/2 hours, and I was standing or squatting most of the time, and I think that helped. I also spent a lot of time in the shower which really helped with contractions. I think people thought I was mad too when I said I didn't want any drugs!

    My sister has only 2 weeks to go, and I am her birth partner. She has been very clear about not having drugs, so my job will be to remind of of that when the time comes, and to help her get through without!

    For the next one, I hope to have a similar experience...fingers crossed!

  5. #59
    Aleanbh Guest

    Default

    I second what Shannon said - I had baby in labour ward surrounded by equipment and drugs but used none of it (other than foetal monitor on my tummy a couple of times-during which I had to lie down, only time I did). It is totally up to you - I have never heard of anyone here or UK being forced to have drugs unless it is an emergency C-section. I had none coz I wanted to protect baby. I don't believe gas and air hurt baby but I didn't ask for them as I was so much in the zone...
    A

  6. #60

    Default

    Well, this all may be a bit moot as I may have a low lying placenta... so much for my plans of the "ideal" birth, but on the plus side I get to have loads of extra scans (I'll be going for my fourth on the 25th).

    Something that is actually quite amusing about my DH:
    We were talking about drugs, he really hasn't grasped that I don't want them, but anyway, I then asked "what if they ask you if they can give me a routine episotomy?"

    He ignored me until I asked again, then explained he didn't know what an episotomy is. "It's where they get a pair of scissors and snip between the holes," I said, putting it as delicately as I could.

    "Eeeugh, I've just eaten!" Well, I don't know what he's going to be like actually watching it then! And then he wonders why I want a birth support person so I can find out what's going on... not because I don't trust him, just because he has no clue whatsoever!

  7. #61

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    South Eastern Suburbs, Vic
    Posts
    6,054

    Default

    Ohhh Ryn...what a situation!

    A student midwife is not a bad idea at all, I'm having one, and she's gonna be brilliant, I just know it!

    It will be DH's job to massage and encourage and support. I have told him to follow the midwives' lead (the midwives reckon the guys just echo what they hear them say anyway).
    It will be the student midwife's job to advocate for me, to follow my birth plan, to let me know what's happening, to remind me why I don't want drugs, to support my husband.

    Also..while you'd want to be starting to line up your birth support soon, it took a bit of time for my DH to actually start thinking about the birth, and even now (37 weeks), he learns on a 'needs to know' basis
    I have actually scheduled (he doesn't know it yet) a time where we're going to sit down and chat, because I'm still sliiiightly unconfident about how he'll cope. And that's just because he's so unsure and unconfident himself, he doesn't know what to expect really, so our chat will just be defining his role to give him knowledge = confidence. The fact that the student midwife will be there (and they get along really well) has relaxed him though I think.

    I really would recommend a doula or midwife or student midwife though, haven't given birth yet, but the peace of mind going into this knowing that I have someone who's really aquainted with me and my wishes and committed to them is awesome.
    All the best in your figurings-out

  8. #62

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sydney's Norwest
    Posts
    4,954

    Default

    Ryn, I had a LLP with Noah but it was all clear by my scan at 35 weeks. Only problem was he was breech so I still ended up with the c section.

    And best you be telling that DH of yours to say NO to a routine episiotomy. Most of the time they just aren't needed!!!!

  9. #63
    Aleanbh Guest

    Default routine episiotomy?

    Dear Ryn
    I really feel for you! I am astounded and shocked that ANYWHERE in Britain still does routine episiotomies in 2006. Just put in your birth plan you don't want one. And hire a doula NOW. You cannot rely on midwife (too busy) and husband (too inexperienced), and although your body is 100% equipped to rely on itself, it is your first baby so don't be a hero, get a doula
    xx

  10. #64
    lisa-jay Guest

    Default

    Ryn,
    I know lots of people in Doula Uk, and lots of the women that runthe training courses. If you like, i could try to find a trainee doula for you, in your area. Its doesnt hurt to meet one or two. Theres no obligation and you might find someone you both really like.

  11. #65

    Default

    It happens a lot here that women are bullied or pushed into drugs and routine episotomies: I know I do work with high-risk pregnancies, but even friends who have come to my hospital have "needed" intervention. I don't know, maybe they did... but I'm not trusting the hospital! Usually it's the man who is asked to make the decision too, I'm trying to train my DH to say "no" to everything, but am going to put on my birth intentions sheet that if I don't agree to something then they are not to do it, I don't care what my husband says!

    Lisa-Jay, if you know some trainee doulas in the mid-sussex area I would love it if you could tell me who they are! They're not very easy to find, but maybe I'm not looking in the right places. I was just going to call the doula's I'd found and ask if they had any trainees, but I do know that may not look too fantastic.

  12. #66

    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    Posts
    8,980

    Default

    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
    Follow me in 2015 as I go Around The World + Kids!
    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  13. #67
    lisa-jay Guest

    Default

    I'll go on to the Doula Uk forum and post a request. Can you give me a more specific area? And do you def want a trainee??

    I know of 5 trainees in the west sussex area.

  14. #68
    Aleanbh Guest

    Default

    Good on you Ryn! The average husband freaks out at his inability to stop the pain so if anything is even more enthusiastic about intervention than doctors so yes you need to be clear in your birth plan. I have good friends in Oxford whose experience was much better than you describe - I mean the hosptials don't push anything, better than Oz - so I guess it varies from place to place. Good luck!

  15. #69

    Default

    Well, I want a very low-cost or free one: DH won't let me spend money on this. Yet he can buy tools to make his "baby". Anyway, not going to get bitter, he'll have to come nursery shopping with me next time he starts looking at car parts...

    Specific area: Haywards Heath and outlying villages. That's slap bang in the centre of Sussex, the RH16 area.

    Thanks for the article, Kelly - I'd read it before, which is why I'm not too worried and just looking forward to the late pregnancy scan to show that I'm OK LOL! I figured if I didn't bleed after sex then I'd be fine to give birth... and then I wonder why people think I'm "too" laid back about this!

  16. #70
    lisa-jay Guest

    Default

    Ok Ryn, I have a name and number for you of a trainee, but not sure that I am allowed to put it on here, tried to PM you, but I'm not platinum...so any ideas........??
    If you go to the doula Uk site, and click on find a doula, there is a tracey near you, who is willing to have a chat. If you get no luck, let me know and I'll get the number to you somehow.
    xx

  17. #71

    Default

    lisa-jay, if you e-mail me at my MSN contact address I can pick it up. I'll take a look at the UK doula site tonight, thank you!

  18. #72
    lisa-jay Guest

    Default

    Dont know if you got my email, but 2 more contacts for you, again..numbers sent via email, but names available on DUK site.
    Katie , a trainee and Nicky, a recognised doula who might well be worth chatting too.

Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •