Homebirth General Discussion #10

[PumpkinZulu]

So, I have an appointment with a midwife on Monday! Finally! A huge sense of relief to finally have some care, I'll be 17 weeks on Monday. Can't wait to book my birth pool and really start planning this.

Question re birth pools; what did you have if you got one? My midwife is Nicola Dutton from Midwives Naturally, and they offer I think 3 or 4 birth pools...3 inflatable at all different sizes, and one wooden. I quite like the idea of the wooden one, for the sturdiness of the edges, I'm not sure how much weight the edges can bear on the inflatable? I had a La Bassine I believe with DD but we never got to use it.

[Tanya]

Birth pools are very sturdy, and very comfy

Team, glad your pap smear wasn't so unpleasant, I am well overdue for one... And not really in a hurry to get one...

Not much happening here. Bub is head down ready to go. I have been sewing some liners for pp lochia... Ummmm... Need to get my nappies out and see what we have, I know I have lots of prefolds, not sure how many covers. Bought some nappy gripper thingies from the US, I think they are call boingos? Also got a good matress protector jic

And that's about all... *shrugs*

[turtlejane]

PumpkinZulu - how exciting to have a mw appt! I hope it goes really well and you click with her

Tegam so sorry to hear about your experience with DD3s birth not being a good one. I can imagine it would be hard to want to think about doing it again. Do you want more children though? I wonder if a doula or counsellor trained in birth support would be helpful, even if just to debrief some more? {hugs}

I have my 12 week appt on Monday - can't believe it's finally so close! I'm been struggling with a nasty cough and ms as well, feeling like I broke a rib a few days ago from all the coughing. So I can't wait to hit 2nd trimester, but especially hanging out for the weather to warm up! I'm sure by mid summer when I'm heavily pregnant I'll be over the heat, but right now it sounds heavenly!

Found out yesterday that a good friend is 7wks pregnant with twins! It was IVF with 2 embryos, but still an exciting surprise to have both bubs doing well! So we're likely to have our bubs around the same time

[Ilithyia]

I'm still here plotting along.



It's nice to see supportive OB's coming out Tegam.

Can I ask who it is?

Also sorry to hear about your birth trauma. Birthing From Within is a great book for dealing with it if you can get a copy.

Oh how exciting for the MW apps!!!

I'm starting mine this week as well... Only I'll be doing my own lol!

Sorry I can't help with the birth pool question but I will be watching replies with interest

[Jennifer13]

I had an Aquaborn pool. I think? The green one. The extra padding on the bottom was good, as were the handles!

Ooooo TJ and PZ - m/w appts are the best! So miss my long leisurely chats over tea and lunch with Mel. I imagine if there's another baby one day they'll be even better, cause there won't be as much birth stuff for me to stress about. Hope your cough is better soon, TJ. And my pg was over last summer and it was so mild I hardly got to use our backyard pool.

My sister has two and a half weeks to go and baby has engaged nicely. Her m/w is on holidays until the day before her EDD, but she knows the other three at the centre well. Hospital birth, but run in a group in anticipation of the birth centre opening next year. Hoping like mad all of our chats have helped her prepare! She's mentally almost there, I'm really excited for her. I think she'll have a good birth.

[Cassius2]

Hi girls!

PZ: woohoo on the MW appt coming up i *think* i was about 17 weeks as well before i saw Nic...took me ages to realise that i wasnt actually wanting to go to a birth centre or hospital hahaha.

re the birth pool: i had the inflatable 'la bassine' one. really loved it. the edges are strong enough for an adult or two to sit on and support you while you are in there. there are handles and the bottom is nicely padded. super quick to get up and we found filling up also really quick (even without an instant hot water system). I think Meow had the wooden one and can give feedback on that one??

Tanya: sounds like you are well on your way I was also thinking about a mattress protector. last time it was a mad rush for a towel hahaha.

Jennifer: wishing your sister all the best for her upcoming birth!

Sara: hahaha, you crack me up lol! i hope the appointments go well

Turtlejane: i reckon it is so exciting sharing a pregnancy journey and parenting journey with a friend...very very cool.

AFM: all going well here! lots and lots of kicks and rolls now so feeling much more connected and it has made me want to get home now lol. ah well, only 3 more weeks and i will be freezing my bum off lol.

[BellyBelly]

Hey everyone, just a quick check-in as I have to head off in a minute but I am not doing so well at the moment and its really getting to me. I'm in alot of pain with my back, which the osteo I went to yesterday thinks its more my ribs, as its spread all around the side right to the front now. Sometimes I just can't sit, then standing starts to ache too Its probably a big contributor to me feeling so down about it all, emotions have well kicked in and I am starting to worry about everything and anything, including my partner coping with all this when he's all the support I have out here. I just want the pain to go away, it would make everything so much more manageable. I am 36 weeks on Monday, so I know there is not long to go, but I just hope that I can snap out of this before then, and we can enjoy the birth and new baby.

Jen: How exciting to have another bub around. Nice to share the journey with others, let alone your sister.

PZ: Its such a relief when you have all that sorted isn't it? I felt the same, being out here I was worried I would have trouble finding someone full stop. Huge relief when they are booked in though.

Re birth pools: Lisa Chalmers from Australian Doulas is a lovely friend of mine and sells birth pools via Simply Birth - they sell two different pools I think which have varying features, i.e. professional models (more heavy duty for use for birthing facilities) as well as ones for in home use. One is the La Bassine which I have sat in non-pregnant before, found it quite good, but we're going for the pool that she has which is a little bigger, it has a seat in it too. Something about Pool in a Box? But I would love my partner to get in with me and we figured the bigger one would be better. He's quite tall so the space will be good. I'll look it up later as I have to take my partner's son to the dentist now.

Sorry to anyone I have missed.

[Tanya]

Awwww Kell if you would like a visitor let me know your addy and I come over xx . Doyou use a fit ball to sit on? I found it helpful with previous pregnancies to keep everything straight and balanced.

[Cassius2]

argh that is majorly sucky to be in that much constant pain Kelly is it an old injury flaring up? crossing everything that it can relent for you so that you can get into a good space soon. much love xx

I think the one with the seat in it is the 'aquaborn' one? isnt that the one that Jennifer used???

[meow]

Oh Tegam... would you consider discussing your birth trauma on here to debrief? I was very nervous about giving birth again after my first but I guess I was sort of lucky that he was my first and really had to deal with it as I wanted more children. I would hate for you to decide to stop based only on fear. It should be a decision you can make freely for yourself.

Kelly I'm so sorry your in so much pain. The emotions of pregnancy can be overwhelming at times too. Blame the hormones and keep on trucking. It will all be fine

I had a Midwives Naturally wooden birth pool. It was massive! My H and I were both in the pool when my baby was born and there was room to spare! I felt a huge urge to be grounded and have a land birth but I really wanted a water birth so I figured the wooden pool would be better for me as the thought of squishy pool sides really turned me off. Once I was in the pool though I was zoning out and would have enjoyed soft pool edges I was fine resting on my H though. And I did like pushing my feet hard against the wooden walls for resistance when pushing- so I guess that was that grounded feeling I was looking for.

Cassius and PZ- you'll have to get into cook-off wars with your Nic appointments now

Jennifer- Thinking of your sister!! My sister went to a birth centre for both her births as it was what she preferred and she was a very informed birther (as it sounds like your sister is) and had two fantastic, empowered births. The first she had an epidural due to posterior & extreme pain/slow dilation but the birth went well and she felt totally in control of all the decisions. Second birth she had an operation afterwards for retained placenta but again she felt completely in control and was able to use all the support in an effective way to establish BFing before the operation and have a speedy recovery. She is super awesome and I'm so proud of the way she navigated "the system". I'm sure your sister will have a great birth.

[Cassius2]

Tegam: i thought after the birth trauma of DD1 that I would never face another pregnancy and birth. It is so real birth trauma; i had no idea that the experience with DD3 was horrendous (I knew that it hadnt gone to plan...but had no idea of the extent, I am sorry for my ignorance)
I won't lie in that it does take work to work through it, but I tell ya what, DD2s birth was the MOST empowering and beautiful experience of my life...so it is possible to birth after trauma, i promise xx

[Arcadia]

Kelly: I'm so sorry to hear you're in pain. Does it help of you lie on your side? Are you doing too much? It might be time to start putting those phone calls on hold, put the jobs off and just relax in these last few weeks. Do you have a birth alter? I would recommend setting up a space in your home where you can go, light a candle, read some affirmations and talk to your baby. I'm pretty sure I have pictures of mine in my album here on bb.

PZ: yay for the finding a midwife. Those first weeks without a carer are looooong!

Sara: are you having a midwife? Or a free birth?

Cass: yes! Come home so I can finally go meet you irl! Hope the packing and traveling aren't too stressful!

Jen: it's almost time to start lighting a candle for your sister. Let us know when she's in labour and we can all have an online blessing.

Argh kids crying...sorry to those I've missed.

[BellyBelly]

Thanks for all the kind words and support everyone. I don't think its an old injury, but everyone seems to be commenting on how big I am, and bigger than my other two. I feel like my rib cage is being wedged open and stretched to the max from the inside, and the pain which started mid back right next to my spine, has spread around my side and it aches all the way to the front. Last night the hot water bottle only worked for a very short while, I took 3 panadol (my IM suggested 3) and jumped into bed - and it was already hurting. I found a bit of relief from turning onto my stomach as much as I could. But again this morning, sitting down, its there. Its kicking in quicker and less is helping it. I have osteo again next week, but I am thinking I might book myself in for an hour long pregnancy massage, to help get to every area and relax.

Tanya - have sent you a message via FB x

Arcadia - that sounds like a nice idea. It is bothering me that I have been so focused on other things that I haven't even talked to the baby or connected with it like I hoped. I enjoy feeling him/her move, but there's been so much going on, I think I need to send more energy bubs way. I'll check out your photos x

My partner is off shooting today after work (yep, urgh - there is a fox problem up here but I still hate it) and will be going with his son, so will have a quiet house in here, maybe I will spend some time focusing on bub for a bit. I feel a bit antsy because he wont have phone reception, and I am not enjoying being alone so much living up here, and especially on a Friday night. But looking forward to next week when we'll both be kid-free. He'll be working and has 3 days in the city with work, but I am going to go down, luckily his work made an exception and said I could stay with him.

Going to get some pregnancy photos shortly as I don't think I am going to make it to Aug 6. I've also been crampy every day now (on and off) and the BH are increasing, and I am just exhausted, sore and more over it than I ever remember with my two - they both came a bit early and I was surprised as I didn't expect anything and was happily going about things as normal. But this time its trying to deal with things day by day, already. One month today, far out.

[Ilithyia]

Morning girls,

Kelly - Big hugs hun. Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Have you thought about a belly belt? Or do you know anyone who ask Rebozo experience? There's probably not much I could tell you that you dont already know but just all the OFP etc to help baby move down etc. A pregnancy massage could help. Might be just that everything needs to be relaxed and softened. Big hugs hun! xx

Jennifer - Good luck to you're Sis Very exciting. My Sis has been TTC for a while now and had her second m/c a little while ago. Its hard to know what to say etc around her but I try support her as best I can.

Meow - I've seen those wooden pools before. They look pretty awesome. I don't know of anyone who has one though. I've always wanted to birth my next baby into water but I like you am a real land birther. I tried the bath with DD2 but got out shortly after as sitting was too painful. I hope I do get to birth into water this time. But I guess we wont know until the day

Cassius - Hehe. Well I dont have a midwife at this stage and since I havent had any bleeding this pregnancy I'm just gonna treat it at a normal pregnancy. Once I get towards the end of the pregnancy (or if any compliations arise) I'll either see my GP or ask a Midwife friend to do my checks.

Arcadia - I havent decided yet. I dont have a midwife at this stage. I've contacted one who may be able to fly back for my birth but she is on leave at the moment and is going to contact me once she returns. At this point we are just flowing. There's a lot of possible change floating around us at the moment so its hard to know exactly what we're gonna do.

Hi to everyone else! xx

AFM - Not much to report. Had a scan last week to check on the hematoma and all is well. Hematoma is still there but apparently very small. Babe is growing well. MS is starting to settle (touch wood). Tiredness hasn't really let up though

We're thinking about moving away from Brissy to Rockhampton. I have family up there which means more support for us and there are way better job opportunities for DP as well. Its just a big thought at the moment. If we do move, it will mean a definiate freebirth or definate hospital birth. As there are no midwives in the area, there is no in between. There is a large alternative community with a few mums who birthed freely or with midwives who are already offering support. So its just a matter of making a decision. Lots of weighing up to do I guess.

[BellyBelly]

Hey Sara, thanks for the suggestions - someone replied to a post this week which gave me some answers - a few BB members had posted about the exact same problem and said it really sounds like a condition similar to how sciatica works, but affecting the thoracic area. I got down to Melbourne tonight, in alot of discomfort, almost bawled my eyes out at dinner, but I am going to try and see if I can book in to someone she suggested seeing - she said it sounded very treatable. Just have to find someone who knows exactly what it is.

Had my midwife appointment, bubs is ROT and down quite low now, in my 36th week. Next visit at 38 weeks. Bought my pool, the Pool in a Box one as I wanted something bigger so my partner could get in. Those who bought birth pools, what did you do with them afterwards? Keep them? Sell them? Most things are organised, going to sort out the car seat / capsule this week and apart from that I think its all I need thats important.

PZ - How did your first midwife appointment go?

[meow]

I hope the new plan of attack is helping Kelly and you have found someone who can help!

I would love to hear how your MW appointment went too PZ.

We have a friend staying here at the moment whose wife is pregnant. I don't ask about birth plans generally because I know I don't want to hear it, just stick to pregnancy progression and baby plans. But he mentioned another friend is due at the same time as them who lives really close so I asked if they were having the babies at the same place because it would be funny if they end up being there together. But he said they are going private and the friends are going public. Then he said that there are different ideas about whether private is better or whether it's just the same. I couldn't bite my tongue and said "or that it's worse". Had to keep talking to cover it over as obviously it is their choice but he was surprised and had no idea at all why I might say that. I feel frustrated how uninformed about intervention risks people are They've had a bunch of scans with their ob "because they can" and "it's fun to see the baby". Again, no idea what the risks of multiple scans are. These obs should be ashamed of themselves for the lack of information they provide clients.

[Tegam]

Oh it's so hard isn't it meow very hard to bite your tongue and you shouldn't have to keep quiet but really it's not worth the emotional investment if you ask me

[e_p]

meow and Tegam I know the feeling It's so hard sometimes. Homebirth is not at all the norm in my circle of family & friends. My SIL just found out she's pg and has booked in with a private OB and private hospy with a 47% c-sec rate. She's terrified of pain, surgery, needles, strangers and vaginal exams Last year her sister had an induction, 3 traumatic (her words) failed attempts at an epidural, then c-sec with forceps for 'failure to progress' followed by slow recovery. Her bub has been very grizzly since birth, she switched to formula because she was getting no sleep overnight and just now (8mths) took her to see an osteopath (after very gently saying a few times how useful it was for us to take C to see ours since he was very young) who asked about the birth and told her the bub's cranial plates were in very bad shape and that she's probably been battling a headache for 8mths This sister's husband said to pg SIL 'I don't think you're going to be able to handle labour' when she announced her pregnancy It all just makes me so sad - I know she'll make her own choices and I need to stay out of it but I'm so worried for what might happen, and hate that because I did something 'extreme', any gentle suggestion that she could do some research into xyz, or consider some independent antenatal classes will be seen as me pushing this hippy homebirth judgemental agenda I hate feeling so silenced for doing something counterculture that was such a wonderful experience