Congrats, Aimz, you should be incredibly proud of yourself for birthing your little man. I am sorry you had to transfer afterwards (although it's still going to be pretty cool to get his birth certificate with your home address as place of birth !). It sounds like you can have complete confidence in your m/w though and that you have had the best possible care. I hope the opportunity to debrief allows you to process your feelings. Birth is a very intense experience.

Cricket, I think honesty is the best way to tell your birth story, good and bad bits. Unfortunately, with so many medicalised births there's not a lot of positives mentioned. I think every woman is different - some will find birth extremely painful, some not so much. But you are right about the hard work! I don't think anyone escapes that. Time must be a factor too. My hard work of labour wasn't very long and I'd had a day of resting, so I was in the best possible place to use my energy. It made it a lot easier to cope.

It's also not a point of comparison, either between women or between births, I imagine. I think the best possible preparation focuses on individual care and as much positivity as you can, but I doubt any midwife attends a birth with the expectation it will happen a certain way. I pass on my story knowing it is unique to me and that birth. Other mothers may find similarities, or not. You just put it into the mix.

I did stay away from horror stories, mostly because there was nothing in common with our plans or my midwife's model of care ITMS.