Homebirth General Discussion #13

[Jennifer13]

Congrats, Aimz, you should be incredibly proud of yourself for birthing your little man. I am sorry you had to transfer afterwards (although it's still going to be pretty cool to get his birth certificate with your home address as place of birth !). It sounds like you can have complete confidence in your m/w though and that you have had the best possible care. I hope the opportunity to debrief allows you to process your feelings. Birth is a very intense experience.

Cricket, I think honesty is the best way to tell your birth story, good and bad bits. Unfortunately, with so many medicalised births there's not a lot of positives mentioned. I think every woman is different - some will find birth extremely painful, some not so much. But you are right about the hard work! I don't think anyone escapes that. Time must be a factor too. My hard work of labour wasn't very long and I'd had a day of resting, so I was in the best possible place to use my energy. It made it a lot easier to cope.

It's also not a point of comparison, either between women or between births, I imagine. I think the best possible preparation focuses on individual care and as much positivity as you can, but I doubt any midwife attends a birth with the expectation it will happen a certain way. I pass on my story knowing it is unique to me and that birth. Other mothers may find similarities, or not. You just put it into the mix.

I did stay away from horror stories, mostly because there was nothing in common with our plans or my midwife's model of care ITMS.

[Cassius2]

OH Aimz What a journey is taken when we become mothers! That must of been so tough going through that massive labour and then having to transfer and have surgery...I second PZ on the iron stuff. If you eat meat, bone broth is super fantastic for restoring the blood and getting good iron in your system. After my PPH I ate lots and lots of leafy greens and took spatones liquid iron to help boost my blood supply back up (i also saw a naturopath for some herbal tonics...).

I truly believe that the awesomeness of HB is not only for the support in birth itself but also for that really intense and special bond and support with your IM. I am so relieved to hear that you have this with your midwife, use her as much as you want and can. i cannot recommend debriefing highly enough, it is so cathartic talking about it and working through it (the same could be said even for births that women felt went how they imagined/wanted).

Beatrix: after my threatened preterm labour this last time, i found the wait from the magic 36 week mark to when i had her (39w) to be excruciatingly long lol! all my babies have been before or on their EDD...i couldnt imagine going over i would go bonkers lol.

Cricket: I feel that it is just important to be able to talk about birth. we shouldnt feel the need to edit or change it up to suit expectations ITMS. I have had quite different experiences every time: first birth was traumatic and took alot of processing (had a PTSD), my second birth (HB) was one of those ecstatic, pain-free (yes, really!) simply joyous births, and my third birth (also HB) was really straightforward, simple, challenging and yet, still empowering (but didnt have that ecstatic high during the birth that i experienced the second time). All births are just so so different (even with the same woman birthing!) and each journey is so worthy of discussion with open honesty. That said, i have been guilty of taming down my version of DD2s birth simply because, yeah, i think people dont believe me or think that i might be showing off. i find it interesting though, that the only birth that i feel i need to curb in, is the positive one. people are less willing to listen to those and take them for what they are: someone's birth experience (as opposed to someone just talking themselves up).