Also, last time i was completely happy for DD to be at the birth if that s what happened. She ended up sleeping through it. She will be almost 4 next time, and at this point i have greater reservations. Maybe cos she can talk and will need greater explanation... i like the idea of it being all natural and kids don't need it hidden from them, but then i wonder do they need to know stuff so early?
For what it's worth - I don't plan to have any of my kids at the birth, but we have read "Hello Baby" with all of them (it's a great book about a family going through a home birth together and it shows birth in a realistic but non-graphic way) and they loved it. I found though that the younger ones (2-5yrs) were much more accepting and nonplussed by the whole "the baby comes out of... THERE?!" thing. The older ones (7-9yrs) were a little more shocked and required more explanation. So whether you decide to have her present at your birth or not, now might be a good time to let her know how birth works. I'd definitely recommend "Hello Baby" if you decide to tell her now.