Homebirth General Discussion #15

[Arcadia]

Yes I believe birth is supposed to hurt. I find it very painful and confronting, but when you're expecting that its less of a shock.

I find the pushing bit the hardest because of the intensity of surface stretching and the clarity of my mind. The labour stuff is just breathe and surrender. Pushing is where I need to work hard because I find my mind is clear and I start thinking and feeling scared. You need so much courage to birth and that's why I really love it.

[PumpkinZulu]

You need so much courage to birth and that's why I really love it.

Yes!! I think this is why I love it too. You find a strength within that you never believed could exist!

I'm the opposite, I find pushing easier to deal with and almost enjoyable (you know, as much as it can be, when you're pushing a human out of your privates). I find it satisfying and exciting, but a lot of hard work.

You ladies are making me very broody. We're not TTC until December next year, so I've got a fair bit of waiting to do and living vicariously through all of you.

[Jennifer13]

DD2's birth was hard work, but I would not describe it as painful. It was over much quicker than I expected and I was shocked that I didn't really ever find I wasn't coping. The pushing was too long and hard for my liking, but I never felt anything other than in control. It wasn't orgasmic (not sure how that happens, but I'll grant everyone is different!), but the rush and joy after she was born was heightened by the lack of tiredness and delight that it was all done so much faster than I expected. It did feel so very normal and ordinary at the same time, which is kinda hard to explain.

Like I said, I didn't find the labour enjoyable, since it was hard work and I'm not a huge fan of hard work , but I found it completely within my limits to cope. It's different for everyone. I didn't have any past trauma or triggers to come up, that probably helped. And all the chiro, aqua aerobics, gardening, etc, that I did in the lead up meant baby was in an absolutely perfect position. And I have a high pain threshold, noted by other medical professionals over the years. There are so many variables within how painful a woman will find birth that it's impossible to predict perfectly how it will go with each woman and even with each birth, IMHO. This time, baby might not cooperate quite as well, it might be bigger, etc, etc, etc. I'm not going to take it for granted that my last experience will define this one, although there are probably some factors I can take away from it. I will prepare myself physically, emotionally and mentally as well as I can again, just in case it was a fluke, or it was the preparation that got us there last time!

Arimeh - I LOVE your breakdown! That's a great way to look at it. I did try telling myself that each contraction was one step closer, one less to have. Your way is even clearer. You know I'm so using that for myself down the track.

Not sure on the HB and why you would be scared presumption. Since I've done it before, most tend to classify me as one of those 'different' women who are lucky enough to not have birthing difficulties, so therefore I'm okay to birth at home. When really, it's the other way around IMO, I didn't have any birthing difficulties BECAUSE I stayed at home. First time around I just told people we'd booked into a hospital in case we needed to transfer and it was only five mins down the road. I assume a fair portion just figured I'd probably end up there anyway. Except that I turned out to be 'lucky'.

I'm so sorry about your sister, btw. While I know many women who lost a bub, it's really hard when it's someone close and you're involved in the experience. Especially when you are pg. I'm having a hard time not being afraid of the scan on Wed, because while I was pg with DD2 (but further advanced) a close friend lost her bub just before it and found out at the scan. I'm worried I'm not feeling the baby enough, that I'm not getting big enough, etc, etc. I don't want to go to the scan, but on the other hand I can't wait to have it over and just be passed that stage. My worry about whether bub is okay or not seems to be getting worse with each pg. And because this one was unplanned and I took so long to come around to the idea, I'm now worried it's all going to be taken away from me.

[Arimeh]

Jennifer, I'm sure all is fine with your baby! I didn't feel this one until the night before my scan - but that was at 18 weeks, however, I didn't feel any of my DD's moving until between 22 and 24 weeks! And obviously they are all fine... just because it was an accident, doesn't mean its not meant to be I think its the opposite - it IS meant to be, thats why it was an accident!

And I'm sure everyone I know expects me to transfer and they will all be like "haha I knew she couldn't do it, home birth is dangerous blah blah blah" but if I'm being transferred from a home birth its for a bloody good reason and I'm ok with that. I trust my midwives at home, I don't trust the ones at the hospital that are following hospital policy