Oh, der, I should've thought of that - I didn't connect "peri" with "perineum" I didn't feel comfortable with anyone checking my stitches after Amelia, so I'm not sure I'd do it with this bub. Then again, I didn't know any of the people who asked so maybe I'll feel more comfortable if I need it this time?
I suffered trauma from being stitched after my first son was born so my MWs and I discussed it a lot when preparing for the birth of my second son.
We talked about how to heal without stitching so I was versed on it but given the extra effort on being careful and having to lie down for so long I was keen to attempt stitching if I tore. We were pretty sure I tore as my son's shoulders were born so about an hour or so after birth my MW attempted to check but I was so sensitive and even trying to open my legs was hard and my anxiety started off. So she managed the briefest of glimpses and said she *thought* I had a second degree tear. If it was going to be stitched it needed to be that day. She said she really didn't want to do that to me and we went over the "rules" for healing without stitching and left it.
The next day my secondary MW came for my check up and we decided she would check again as I did want to know that we had at least properly diagnosed the tear and I wasn't as sore and worked up from the birth so it felt like a better time to look (though, too late for stitches I think). She got me to do all the touching and it only really required touching my thighs to open up the view and she pretty much sat on her hands to help my anxiety and just had a look without touching anything. She confirmed the second degree tear and I continued with my "lie down for three weeks" and keeping it clean regime. Which got tedious but was actually a great thing to do post birth in any case My H took the time off work and did everything around the house and caring for our older son.
I saw a physio a couple of weeks after birth as I wanted to review muscle separation. She's big on incontinence and wanted to poke around my vagina too. I told her she couldn't touch but I let her look. Anyway, she was shocked that my skin looked yellow and she was sure I had an infection from not being stitched. I called my MW and she asked me much better questions about infection like pain and smell and she said I didn't have an infection and yellow was perfectly normal but no-one knows what unstitched skin looks like when it heals. I think that's important to know if you choose not to get stitched. Don't let other people get you in a panic. My body healed perfectly. Never any pain, never any problems. I would do it same way in a heartbeat and will discuss the hands-off policy with a MW when booking them next time as I want someone again who is comfortable with that and knows what to do without poking and prodding.
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I didn't feel comfortable with anyone checking my stitches after Amelia, so I'm not sure I'd do it with this bub. Then again, I didn't know any of the people who asked so maybe I'll feel more comfortable if I need it this time?
My H took the time off work and did everything around the house and caring for our older son.
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