Homebirth General Discussion #17

[Bella29]

Congrats loulabelle!! What wonderful news. Sorry you had to deal with smug mw's . Not good at all. It just reinforces why most of us prefer to avoid them. Glad your little man is ok tho. And tiny is adorable! I kinda wouldn't mind a tiny baby. After all my big girls. But only a healthy tiny baby.

Afm, is it just me or did anyone find the idea of their second birth( third but second vaginal birth) more daunting at times than the first? I am feeling a little scared when I try to look forward to this baby's birth. I think it may be because I know what I have to do this time and that is lots of hard work.

It may also be because I am feeling so terribly flat with m/s and first tri exhaustion. That my be coloring my perception of things.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Loulabelle, that's gorgeous news Not nice to deal with misconceptions about homebirth when you've just had one - what the hell do they think they'll achieve by doing that to a hormonal and vulnerable woman? I guess many of them forget that's who they're dealing with I'm starting to spread the idea that going to a health care giver is THEIR privilege, and not the other way around. When I said that in a roundabout way to my GP (when I thought I'd changed practices in our house move, only to revert to my other one at week 11) she thought about it - instead of ploughing on with her agenda and self-importance - and said it was a good point to remember. Sometimes they need sobering with that thought, and whilst it's too late for your stay, I reckon I can pass it round liberally on behalf of mamas like you, while I've still got the energy
I wasn't going to book into a hospital, but the mw I'm going with works at one that people from my area reasonably book into as well, so it won't look weird. There is one closer to us, but my mw doesn't work at that birth centre. If I need to transfer it will be to the closer one. I wonder if it would fly, in that instance, that I only last minute decided I wasn't going to be forced into a car??
I've had a horrible head cold for a few days and today I can breathe - I also had a nap for a couple of hours while the kids ran around like lunatics on their last day of holidays.
I got a Belly Bandit Upsie Belly in the mail this week, which is pretty awesome for the PGP and it much more discreet and streamlined than the band lent to me by the osteo! That one is now my back up, for when this one's getting washed. My MiL also brought round some mobility aids, so I feel like a granny, but I can get around the house when my pelvis flares up

[Arimeh]

Congrats loulabelle - sorry the hospital wasn't very nice to you. As much as I didn't want to transfer because of the expected attitudes - all the midwives were really good to me and were really supportive of home birth. Even the one who told my friend how lucky I was to be alive.

Bella - yup I got that through the pregnancy and my one before that. It went towards the end of my pregnancy though so don't pay it too much attention xx

[Smoke Jaguar]

Bella - I had a 3 year gap between my first two and I was paranoid that I was going to forget my HypnoBirthing techniques, even though I was doing revision exercises and added mantra music to my labour plan! I needn't have worried - I kept all my kick-arse training in my subconscious and it came back to me beautifully at crunch time. I knew I was going to be ok, even though the labour was quicker and more intense and I left it to my body to do the work while my brain concentrated on breathing. By the time I felt my baby's head coming down with my finger I knew I was home free for that vaginal birth Intense, but home free.
Once your body has done it once, all those muscles know even better exactly what to do. It's up to what the baby is going to do and how you let your body do it, if all is progressing normally. If things aren't progressing normally then your MW will know in plenty of time for a transfer - she'll know the signs even if you don't.

[Jennifer13]

Hi girls, I replied but lost it a couple of days ago and atm I'm not on the computer very much!

Arimeh - I hope it isn't long before you are back to normal. Did you end up with a more extensive op due to the nature of it this time, or is it just the reality of running around after another four kids and trying to rest that's making it a bit slower this time? How is bfing going?

Urgh to those with pelvic instability, that sounds awful. I'm getting some lower back pain, but I found it was much like this with DD2 as well. I have had to focus extra on my core and pelvic floor muscles this time though, and I find as soon as I pay attention and suck them all up, my posture improves immediately and the pain almost disappears. I think I'll be seeing the chiro a bit more often to help as well. Could just be I'm getting too old for this. Although DP is completely open to another child in a few years. I'm not sure what happened to the partner I took almost 12 mths to convince to TTC DD2... Seems he actually likes the idea of extra children running around. Just took a bit longer to realise!

My birth pool is being picked up to deliver to us on Monday next week. I'll feel much better when it's in the house, even though I still have 12 weeks to go. I rang the hospital to book in in case of transfer, but haven't heard back. Might try again and go in soon. So they can photocopy all my notes. Might be an idea to brush up my birth plan before that appt, since I don't expect to go back. I think I'll keep the last one pretty much for this time, except with something up the front about how well my VBAC went.

Really starting to think about the birth now. DD3 is alternating mostly between transverse and head down now, so she's on her way. She clearly has plenty of room. :\ I'm not bothered, she'll figure it out. I feel it will be a quick birth, I'm sure at least one of my midwives won't make it. I'm totally fine with that, but I'm going to spend a bit more time with my doula (who's the closest) in the lead up so that DP doesn't feel entirely responsible! I'm picturing another night time birth, but I think it will all be over before midnight.

Anyone else have strong feelings about their births before they happened that did come true? WIth DD2, I really didn't imagine the birth that much, but I did know it would all be fine and I guess while I kind of left it to proceed as it would, in hindsight I didn't expect it to be long (I did no preparation for looking after anyone for a long labour at all). I strongly saw us sitting around in the daytime afterwards with a new DD2 and just going about our normal business. That part was certainly true. And I did know there wouldn't be any dramas, it would all just happen smoothly.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I pictured my last birth to happen during the day or early evening in warm weather. It happened late evening and it was lashing down rain! It wasn't long, though - just over 3 hours from regular contractions to birth.

[Arimeh]

Arimeh - I hope it isn't long before you are back to normal. Did you end up with a more extensive op due to the nature of it this time, or is it just the reality of running around after another four kids and trying to rest that's making it a bit slower this time? How is bfing going?

More extensive op I think since they had to take my uterus out to repair the hole. I was left with a lot of bruising - from my belly button down to my groin. I even had a bruise in the shape of a hand print on my lower abdomen - must of been from them trying to stop the bleeding from the abruption. I've had numerous health professionals tell me how lucky I am to be alive, and to be honest I'm struggling with how to deal with that. Not to mention that Felix could have died too. DH told me last night that he had started thinking in the waiting room that he was going to lose me - so thats upsetting to think about him sitting there crying and waiting to hear good news or bad news. Ahh dear, now I'm getting all teary. Think I have issues.

Um breastfeeding is going well, I've been tempted into thinking to try formula overnight to see if it will take him less than 2 hours to settle, but I'm pretty lazy and I know it won't necessarily make him sleep so I haven't relented yet lol

[Smoke Jaguar]

Dot Face, at this stage of the game, I'd just be getting down to the nearest hydrotherapy pool and floating to take the weight off your pelvis, and not worrying about exercises If it persists afterwards, then find an osteo or trusted physio and they'll evaluate what exercises are best for your form of the condition, because each case is different.
Arimeh, now you KNOW the chances of formula cutting down settling time is as random as if you just stuck to what you're doing

[ladybirdflies]

Arimeh, I totally understand where you are coming from, regarding that haze after a life and death situation. I had to be resuscitated 18mths ago after my MC, my hubby was there and I woke up to a room of people yelling my name... 7 long minutes went by until I started to breath and I will never forget the look on his face when I started to come around. It took me months to process the enormity of what had happened, plus I was bid ridden for weeks and months to even get better. THere is such a fine veil between life and death, and I feel so incredibly blessed to be here and humbled by how easily it can be taken. I feel like i crawled my way through the gates of humility in those weeks and I will never see life in the same way again. The love that blossomed in our family because of that moment is amazing... try not to look at what could have been as much as how much there is here and now. So much for you and hubby to process, I hope you feel supported in doing that. xx