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How do I let go of Home birthing . It's like I got a taste of what could be and now it's been snatched away
I saw the midwives have a new pool and all I could think is it won't be me getting to use it
Does it ever get better or will I be 80 and still have regrets
Kellbell has anyone say no to you yet?
No my midwife hasnt rules it out yet but I'd probably have to free birth it with my doula . I don't know if I can risk it with other children who need me
And I'm a good 30 + mins from a hospital . If only I had a crystal ball to see the future!
I got a letter for a surgical appointment in the mail today I just wanted to tear it up!
I'm not sure how you handle things so I can only talk for myself. I'd need to be positive at this time. I'd say to myself that the OB was relaxed and the IM hasn't said no. No need to worry about free birth/ surgery yet. You are only 33 weeks, plenty of time for a million things to change. If we all focused on everything that could stop us then we'd probably all just book in for an elective CS..... I don't want to come across at all insensitive. I just also don't want you spiralling down into the perfect position to just "do as you are told". The games not over yet....
Plenty of fight in me left! Got to get bubs out of transverse as my midwife explained the uterus is stretching the wrong way
Off to do my spinning babies exercizes!
my mates baby was transverse right up until 39 weeks and now is happily head down and they are back to their plans of vaginal birth :) there is plenty of time! spinning babies is awesome for inspiration!
can you request to have scans done weekly or whatever for the placenta? I am sure that there could be positive changes! maybe if bubs moves from transverse it might positively impact on the positioning of placenta to the cervix?? maybe??
My two hb babies changed positions late. DD2 was head down from 38? weeks, but at 41 weeks +3 days turned transverse for a couple of hours before turning head down again and then labour started.
thinking good thoughts for you kellbell.
Eeeeeeekkkkkkkk think my private midwife just ditched me !
Can't ring her as at work but she sent a message sounding like she was transferring care back to the hospital
I have another scan in 2 weeks at 35 weeks to check the placenta
Oh Kellbell sorry to hear of this, she won't wait til you've had another scan to make a decision?
Phew she just wanted to send them some blood tests from 28 weeks
All good
Going to have a planning meeting with her & my doula and hubby
After the next scan .
I didn't think she would cut me of like that - was just freaked out for abit !!
:hug: you are under an incredibly stressful situation right now, so it is totally understandable that you are on edge and very very nervous. I think, now, more than ever you need to surround yourself with lots of love, light and positivity. this is where i would of disappeared for an hour or so in my room with my calmbirth CDs for some time out and reassurance...do you have a 'safe place' you can take yourself for a little bit (like with meditation or zone out)??:
i am sending so much love and positivity to you xx this baby has plenty of time to turn!
Thanks so much
I can't live like this for 6 weeks so am going to take some time and listen to my music and try and calm down . This was supposed to be such a peaceful time connecting with the baby , getting birth space ready ect. I need to get my head back into that nice calm space I was in
I have been journaling and getting it all out .
Have a meeting with birth talk coming up to try and heal some damage from my last birth
Hopefully they will have some strategies for me to help with this birth as well
I'm am so so terrified of birthing in hospital again
And being separated from my baby so have alot to work though :-(
Oh kellbell hugs
Afm. Why at the end of pregnancy when you are preparing to bring another little human into your family do you feel so tired and unable to deal with the ones you have. Such negative guilty feelings over those that you already have and are letting down being so tired and uncomfy. Seems unfair. I know I'm doing my best and after a very hard shift last night I've decided to start maternity leave YAY. So that should help but boy, wish I just had the energy to be fun and happy mummy again. Not this ranting emotional mole. All four kids are currently in their rooms as am
I. As they are just being nasty to each other, they probably just need food and a happy mummy but this option was easier! Mother of the year here
I must be nearing end of pregnancy too then
Me three :( hope we can all take it easy soon x
Sending you all some love. I hope that each of you can find some time to tune out the world, even if only for a short while.
I would be quite happy to move into a cave by myself for the next few weeks. I can't seem to get rid of this cold, it's been in our house for 6 weeks and now ds2 has started coughing, again. Blah!
Oh ladybug that can't be fun, we've had our run of colds but nothing had and I seem to have mostly missed them thank goodness! Hugs
We had influenza b go through work I was sick for 2 weeks with it but my hubby and kids missed it despite me coughing for 2 weeks ! Not fun being pregnant and sick at all
Went to the home birth Qld meeting today was so great. Sitting under the trees in a circle listening to home birthing stories
Just what I needed to recentre myself :D
oh Kellbell that sounds just perfect! I wish we had similar circles like that where I live!
Lady-bug: we are also in flu hell. just been on a constant merry-go-round for DD1 and I. the others seem to have bolstered but we are struck down with a persistent cough that will not go away.
Hugs to all the sickies, esp the pg sickies. :(
Spring is nearly here and hopefully you'll all feel better soon.
Wow, I have missed heaps! Sorry to everyone I forget to reply to, there was so many moments when I was reading the four pages I had missed where I empathised or commiserated with you all.
Sterla - congratulations! Well done mamma! I couldn't follow the link, cos my tala talk has issues with me following links, but I will try to follow it up later
tegam- honey, you are a machine! You are doing so well with working and caring for four children and doing so much. If you wig out occasionally, it's ok. Well at least I hope it is, cos I have had multiple occassions like that recently and I just have to tell myself that they love me and forgive me for not being perfect. I certainly love them unconditionally despite their imperfections. In fact I adore them.
Kellbell, I don't know lots about placenta movement, but I do know, that it is worth rechecking later in pregnancy, like 36 weeks etc to get a better idea. This is when the lower section is growing up and dragging the placenta with it. And good luck with birthtalk. I love Melissa and she has such a lovely heart. I adore her.
Meow and ladybug, so close for you girls! Sending you all my love and hoping that you are able to endure the end of pregnancy with lots of support and love, and that you are able to savour every last lovely moment, even as you struggle to cope with the harder parts. It won't be long till lovely babies are tucked up into your arms.
Oh and Jen! Sooooo happy that your sister has chosen an IM! Yayaya! I am so happy for you! I know it was hard for my sister to watch me have a c/s, I can't imagine her pain if she had to have watched me have a second one, or get a crap model of care. I really hope she has a beautiful healing birth.
Afm. Well mothering three is full of both ups and downs. Eddie is 13 weeks yesterday. Like Sterla, I think it am lapping him up more than the others. His skin is sooo beautiful. I just want to nuzzle him constantly. Which is handy cos he really suffers if I eat practically anything! Consequently I carry him a lot. He also is pretty windy and constantly wiggles in bed, trying to get comfortable. I am really struggling with exhaustion about now. I'm dizzy and today even shaky from lack of sleep. There is not a lot I can do. It isn't helped by the fact that dh just has no real interest in learning how to settle him. So even if he gets up with the girls, he has never tried to put the baby back to sleep on his own. He will bring him back to me after 30 mins saying he needs a feed, which clearly since I will have only fed him isn't true, he needs to be comforted back to sleep. But hubby brings him in to me and I then I comfort the screaming baby back down to fitful sleep in my arms. Gahh! He tries hard in lots of other areas, but he just doesn't do little babies. Anyway... I'm shattered. Despite that I feel guilty for being normal and being tired, cos I get help at home to keep the house tidy twice a week, so my house looks good, but I don't get rest, so whilst everything looks great, I am not feeling any better than any other mother since I am walking the floor boards with a really struggling baby. My Gp has said that I can have losec if I need it, but I would prefer to persevere without it if I can. Despite that, I am once again going to bat for local women as a maternity services consumer rep in our local hospital. Hoping that we can get some changes for the better locally.
Sorry for the essay. I needed a vent. Xx love to you all. Ps I am really enjoying this bub. He is too beautiful for words. If I could just get a tad bit more sleep, I would be all over it!
Hugs, Bella. It sounds tough with an unsettled Eddie. :( You get no down time during the day with the other girls and then that at night, no wonder you're shattered! My DP doesn't do settling babies either (he blames it on his lack of bbs...). But I'm not stealing your vent, so far my littlest miss has taken it easy on me. I hope you see some improvement soon.
Still thinking of our springtime bellies too!
I visited a HB mama the other day with her tiny squish. I took groceries, washed the dishes, folded clothes and entertained the toddler (with my own). It took about ten times as long as it should have because DD2 and her DS alternated between having so much fun getting into mischief and fighting that I was interrupted every five mins. But it was so wonderful to see a tiny squish and her mama still in babymoon. Made DD3 look huge!
Oh Jen and bella please stop reminding me how quickly it all goes!!!!
Meow. Why are you so quiet??????
I'm hoping so too. Dh says that most colic/reflux things settle at about 12-13 weeks, which is when mothers tend to have tried one last thing and then think that was what worked. So consequently they then tell everyone what will work for their baby, when really that is just the age that the baby grows out of it. Anyway, fingers crossed.
Is meow that close that we are in stalker mode already? Tegam? I can't see her ticker on tapatalk
Bella your husband is a clever man!
Well she is 2-3weeks ahead of me and I'm 35 weeks. She is also ahead of ladybug who is 38 weeks and she is due in August so yelp I'm starting my stalk :)
Meow, hope all is well, thinking of you!!
I'm currently about 38.5 weeks. My platelets came up in one blood test but the last test had them even lower than ever. If I go into labour now it'll be a hospital transfer. My husband has taken some time off work to ensure I can follow my diet and supplement routine and get lots of sleep to see if we can get my levels up. Retesting probably on tuesday this week.
Oh meow. It's been one thing after another for you hasn't it this pregnancy! Hugs. You must be stressed :(
Oh Meow, sending you lots of hugs, sorry this is happening, hope everything settles down for you.
Meow I hope things improve for you xx
Hey, for those who had a back up midwife what kind of plan did you have in place? As in, when did you decide you needed your back up over your primary midwife?
The reason I ask is my primary midwife lives over 2 hours away, she moved after DS was born. We have a great rapport and I wanted her to be midwife at this birth. She thinks my labor will be short, and had therefore been in touch with another midwife to be her back up if she is stuck/at a birth/can't get to me.
I had a chat to my back up midwife today, who is lovely and I have no problem birthing with her, I just don't know at what point do I make the call to have my back up over my primary. I'm 38 weeks this week and feeling like getting all my ducks in a row is important. I'd like to know what others have done, whether anyone had birthed with their back up and at what point did you make that call?
Not stressed because stress doesn't help the body do good things like make lots of platelets! ;) But I have had some teary times and had a big cry with my MW the other day and complained about how unfair this all feels. I can't believe the run of bad luck! Though I think it's all come from the hep A and it's just had a cascade effect. Visualising platelets growing in masses and hopefully adding all the sleep should be helping. I'm getting about 12 hours in bed every night which is quite a bit more than usual. The kids are both due to start school this week (kindergarten/prep/foundation year for our eldest and a new preschool for the younger one) and I decided the little one can start the week after. Cut out all other appointments for the week too. Scaling everything back and focusing on being zen and rested.
phy- I've always had two MWs so they both come when I'm in labour. Last time my back up/secondary MW was first there but my MW was only about 30mins later. This time my backup/secondary lives closer and the chances are she'll be first too but I'm hoping my primary still makes it. We'll see! Can you get them both to come when you're in labour and make the call that way depending upon how long labour is?
I am trying to shake away the immense cluckiness that has overcome me after reading birth stories/announcements, pregnancy announcements and this thread lol..but it's so hard!
I'm the same as Meow, both my primary and back up come when I'm in labour, last time my back up got there first but my primary midwife arrived not too long after her.:
Forgot to add, Bella, I showed my DS2 your birth video yesterday and I got to explain exactly what was going on and that I would be doing the same, he was so interested. Thanks again for sharing it, its lovely (I teared up again!)
Meow, hope all that resting helps.
Bella, not far away from 13 wks. Fx it all improves.
Getting ready to stalk. ;)
I am in mastitis misery. :( Had an awful night, very feverish and soooo ill. Feeling weak and wobbly today but DP stayed home from work so I got to rest. My poor bb! Tandem feeding is helping. Haven't had mastitis since DD1 and it's very unwelcome.
Oh Jen. That's no good. Em has it too at the moment :( hope you feel better soon!
Phy: I would have a chat with both of your IMs and go from there. Sometimes the answer is in the question: ie. asking them who they would prefer to be primary midwife in your particular case and why. This is what I love about planning a HB, you get to ask those questions and get real answers and have the choice! Considering that your journey with your first IM was so positive I would ask the question to her first. you trust her judgement already and she probably will say that she still wants to be your primary, just that on the off chance that you do labour faster than she can get there, at least there is the option of the IM that lives closer at least being at hand until she arrives. My guess is that she just doesnt want you to feel that you are at risk of birthing alone and feeling lost. I know that it was one of the biggest considerations with my IMs as i have laboured rather quickly with my last two babies and they both live roughly an hour away.
Meow: Can I just say that i am so so glad that you changed IMs! Gosh, imagine going through this [not!] stress of platelets and worries about a hospital birth with the other lady. Phew! For all the hardships this pg journey has thrown you, there is that nugget of gold to hold onto :hug:
Jen: ouchies! Feed, feed, feed girl! it is no fun at all :(
Oh no Jen, mastitis is horrible! Had it for the first time the other day, not nice!
Thanks girls, I'm on the improve (had to be, I needed to work today). Poor bb still feels like it's been bashed around though.