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stoked i think this is normal for a pregnancy after loss and when you have other kids. Molly didnt seem real until the second she was born! I felt like i was making it all up before then...
on the other note...please please please lean on your MW...this is exactly what you are paying her for and why we choose to have homebirths. If id had someone to lean on with Mollys birth there is no way things would have ended up like they did!
Stoked, you might if already done this, but I find the calmbirth or hypnobirthing relaxation cd's amazing. They helped a lot with me last time, they made feel so excited yet calm about birthing.
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Call your midwife Stoked - it's Melissa, right? She'll see you right :hug:
yep, id get on the blower to your midwife. also get that birth compilation ready and then of an evening once the kids are in bed and you are comfy in your pjs find a great little comfy chair (mebbe even the one that you will feed bubba in...mebbe in the bubs room) and put on the ipod with the earphones pumping and close your eyes, embrace that belly and just let it out. i did this around the 38 week mark and i found that for an hour and half i just sat there quietly sobbing (or mebbe not so quietly at times lol). let it allllllllll out. feel the kicks and rolls, comfort your baby and comfort yourself, that connection will come even if for only a second or two, but it will come :hug:. this is what i found totally awesome and a big release (i had my own fears related to my severe PTSD after DD1 was born and was *quietly* pooping in my pants :lol:
Thankyou so much ladies xx you are all so gorgeous xx
I am seeing my midwife (yes Melissa, MadB) on Tuesday so i will be having a big ol' chat with her. I started writing a list today of all the things I need to buy/get ready and already feel a little better.
I think you're right Tegam, I really did not expect this baby to make it. I guess part of me still doesn't :( I have been protecting myself by distancing myself. Even my 11 year old daughter has noticed and commented on it!
I have started talking to the baby and really trying to connect with him. The poor child.. I feel so bad, like I've neglected him already :( I'm really going to be focusing on him these next 6 or so weeks (and beyond, of course!).
Thanks for all the advice.. I really, really appreciate it xx
Oh Stoked, dont push yourself. i was getting so stressed about it in the end of Mollys pregnancy that i just had to say to myself that the pregnancy and the baby are different. I wanted the baby more than anything and i would welcome it whole heartedly! But the pregnancy was a stressful event that yes was completely different to my first.
As my mother says what the younger children lack in one area they gain in others! eg. we dont sit there ever week and know exactly whats growing :rofl: but like molly she has 3 big sister/brother that adore her every move!
It is was it is! You are a lovely mum and the minute that baby is warm and ooshy on your chest the love will flow... i promise!
Went to the ob this morning (promised DP we would, just to give ourselves the option). Everything still good, and it looks like the placenta is starting to grow to the back wall, so it is definitely the baby I'm feeling move. Placenta seems to be away from the scar as well as the cervix too. He looked at the scar with u/s and said it's healed so well it's very hard to find. We talked abut VBAC and he thought I should expect no issues. DP and I felt good when we left and he's now completely on board with a HB (DP that is, not the ob!). We talked a bit about the hospital and that confirmed why I don't want to go there, continuous monitoring, IV on admission, that kind of thing.
So I didn't make a follow up appt. I'm going to have to make a sheepish call to let them know we won't be going ahead, but I feel sure it's the right option. DP talked to him about HB generally and the ob while he said obviously his profession doesn't endorse them he had met some great HB m/ws and some complete nuts. His negatives were mostly the mess, lack of continuous monitoring and distance to hospital, which is not a problem for us since we're 5 mins away.
Now I've got that off my chest - HB here we come!
Stoked - hope you had a good chat with your m/w today. :hug:
Guys, just in case you're not aware of this already on FB
Threat to HBAC
Stoked don't feel bad... Ok something I havent admitted before but after my losses I was only able to really accept that DD Is actually here and ok in the last month. Before that I loved her but it was almost like i felt I was faking that connection. but now all is well :)
Stoked - how are you? Please don't beat yourself up over how you've been feeling, they are normal feelings given the situation. Hope you're feeling a bit better. Xxx
Madb - grrr, so much I could say about that but what's the point here, you guys know it all anyway. Makes me angry!
Afm , found a midwife! Janie nottingham. Met her yesterday and she was fantastic. I'm feeling really good about it. And excited.
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that is awesome news loulabelle! makes it feel all the more real now!
Jen: well i reckon if they are the only concerns the ob had then that is pretty good! we had no real "mess" just has to drain the water from the pool and throw out the liner, and as for contiuous monitoring: our IMs are so closely connected to you, your baby and body during the course of your pregnancy and are there 100% for the birth (not like an OB that sometimes makes it there or sometimes doesnt IYKWIM). also, the great thing with a HB (well in my experience) is that as a birthing woman you are so much more connected to you and your baby during the process. all these things IMHO are what make a HB such a great experience (total trust and total support).
I agree with cassius. They insist on continuous monitoring for a few reasons a) arse covering, b) they're more comfortable watching a machine than a woman and c) they don't really know the woman anyway, so are more likely to miss something.
em... I felt that way with DS. It really took quite a while, something that for me was compounded by thte birth experience.
That's great news Loulabelle.
Oh yeah I completely agree with you girls and so did DP (he'll be marching at the next HB rally at this rate!). I quizzed the ob about that because I said I wasn't in favor and he said that if there's a rupture it would affect the baby's heart rate. To which I pointed out that lots of things might affect the baby's heart rate and that wasn't necessarily a cause for alarm. He agreed with me, but in the end, it's the hospital that's been my issue all along ITMS.
Hence our complete satisfaction with our choice at this point.
I saw that story, MadB, and it's insane. But hopefully it doesn't go any further. Doesn't sound like much of a case, really.
:leap: Jennifer for converting DP! :leap:
Yay for Jennifer's DP!
How are you today stoked? :hug: Pregnancy and birth can be such a mental battle. I hope you are feeling content and strong after seeing your MW.
Hello to everyone else! Does anyone have any news of Helly?
Hi ladies,
Yay Jennifer and Loulabelle! Sounds like you're both on your way to awesome HBs!
Thanks so much ladies.. I am feeling alot better today. I have been making an effort to get organised with all the 'stuff' I need for baby and birth, which has made me feel a tad more prepared. Bought a new album today to have playing during labour too! Have been talking with DH about the baby lots more too. It all helps.
I actually forgot to mention my feelings to my midwife the other day. It was a bit of a crazy day and I knew I had to talk to her about something but I couldn't remember what.. Of course it all came flooding back the minute she left! Next time!
You have all helped immensely though and it's really nice to know that I'm not alone in my feelings xxx
Hi Kids
Just letting you know i have an appt with an IM coming up in a week and a bit. DH is keen to chat to her too. (She helped us with my hospital complaint stuff so we have both met her before). i have been accepted (for now) into the birth centre, so still deciding which way to go. i am looking forward to talking to the IM.
that's all
Hi girls,
Birthed Monday night, transferred to hospital. Dealing with it. https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ansfer-165743/