Tips to boost friends confidence?

[~clover~]

My friend had her first HB 18 months ago with her DS, assisted by her awesome MW.
She's now pregnant again & due early Feb & planning another HB. She has her MW on call, but is thinking it might have to be unassisted this time. She just doesn't have the money to pay this time around.
So we were discussing it today & she's educated & experienced. Knows what she's in for, what to prepare for & what to look out for, but she was also saying she's a bit nervy about the whole unassisted part.
I did remind her that she knows what to look out for & that babies are born accidentally at home & on road sides every day unassisted. That she's not silly & (hopefully) won't take any silly risks.
We talked about the whole worst that can happen is 15 minutes waiting for an ambulance when even in hossy an emergency c/s can have you waiting an hour or more anyway.
What else is there I can say that will help ease her mind? Being her 4th child & an uncomplicated pregnancy so far I'm thinking the only thing that could cause problems is her stressing & not being able to relax.
At the same time I have no doubts in my mind at all that she can & will do this unassisted.

[~clover~]

[Mummato2]

What else is there I can say that will help ease her mind? Being her 4th child & an uncomplicated pregnancy so far I'm thinking the only thing that could cause problems is her stressing & not being able to relax.
At the same time I have no doubts in my mind at all that she can & will do this unassisted.

It sounds like you are a very concerned friend and I think your intentions are very sweet.

But it is a big difference to HB vs FB and although you are convinced it's the best thing for her, it really is her decision to make because should anything untoward happen, you do not want her to be resentful of your insistence.

My advice is to offer her all the big pros AND cons and let her decide for herself. As a good friend you'll support whatever choice she makes

[~clover~]

I'm not trying to influence her decision in any way. The HB is all the way her decision. She won't have it any other way.
I just want her to feel more comfortable with the idea that she might not have her mw there. There is every chance she could get the money together & be able to do it, have her mw, but chances are it'll just be her & the family.
All I want to do is support her decision & be able to back her up if she's having doubts iykwim.

[Tegam]

My HB turned into a FB. I dont think i would plan a freebirth but i havent been faced with that decision. If the govenment makes HB impossible they i will have to think about it as my births are far to quick to get to a hospital.

Id suggest she call an ambulance when it gets to the exciting end. they cant force her to go with them but they can be there ready to go if needed and they wont leave her if she needs them! The worst she will have to do is sign a form to say that she wont go with them! Also there are then a few issues with getting a birth cert. which i sure she could figure out from the Free birthing people.
Its a bit naughty and not really using the resourses as they are intended but thats what we think we;ll do next time. whether we have a MW or not, seeing she is likely to be up to an hr away and the ambulance station is only 5 mins away!

Does this help?

[e_p]

there's a blog I read when I was first considering homebirthing...freebirthing had never occurred to me before but after reading I felt incredibly empowered and confident in my ability to freebirth one day if that's what it came to. At this stage I think I'd opt to go with an IM (I'd be a first timer) but if that wasn't possible I think I'd be capable of freebirthing thanks to this woman's blog...if you google 'harriets free birth' you should be able to find it...I'm not sure if it will boost your friends' confidence, but it sure did mine.
Also...maybe she'd like to consider having a doula there to provide emotional and spiritual support incase of a crisis of confidence?

[~clover~]

Tegam, she had a similar problem with her previous HB & has already spoken to her GP & has him lined up & ready to sign the forms for her, so it shouldn't be an issue

Thanks guys. Only 2 weeks to go now