My experience with number one was not too bad I had people tell me their births and some were really traumatic but I never got the vibe I couldn't handle it it was more just a retelling of what happened I accepted there were risks and researched accordingly so it was helpful (but i already had the view birth was a normal experience that a women's body was designed for thanks to bb so maybe had i not been as educated i would take all my experience from Tv and be fearful) I ended up giving birth in a private hosp both times and it was awesome after birthing my first baby in 5 hrs and my second in 1hr I get eye rolling like oh no don't tell anyone it can be quick and easy or I'm bragging
I have found the system is weighted against those who labour longer though I'm lucky I go fast and didn't have to get put on a timer
Although my first labour was wonderful and easy and relatively painless for my second I was induced. DH was deploying a week later and I wanted him there.
I was advised by my OB and the midwives to have an epi. I refused. Not because I was brave but rather because the whole needle in the back thing scared the living crap out of me! Nothing brave about my short intensive (read painful yet exhilarating) labour.
Also, I gave DH strict instructions that if a cs was deemed necessary they had better knock me out - the whole being awake while they did that......nah, not for me.
So, no I don't think you have to be "brave" to have a natural birth but more so brave to put your complete trust in a doctor, midwife etc..
PS: if we have another, I am NOT going to be induced. Ouch! DH can just work around me.
I got those comments too after DDs 2 and 3 - both spontaneous, drug free births. The "you're amazing/brave/strong/incredible/crazy" comments. All my kids have been hospital births under an OB's care, and so I think there is what seems to be a normal reaction of surprise that if I'm having an OB and at a private hospital I must be having "the works". I left hospital with DD2 only a few hours after she was born and the amount of comments of "You're crazy", "you're amazing" and everything in between were incredible. Likewise, nobody seems to believe me when I say that when I eventually asked for an epidural when in labour with DD3 it was my OB who said "no, you really don't want one. You know you can do this without one and the only reason you want one is you're so close now. Give it another few minutes and see if you change your mind". And he was right.
I don't think I'm brave, strong, amazing or anything else. I just think I'm me and I made the choices I wanted to make for myself and my bubbas. I agree that tv/the media etc puts an enormous amount of pressure on what is the "right" thing to do, depending on how the wind is blowing that week. I think some may make comments along those lines perhaps to mask their own disappointment or self-judgment of the way their own births went, or maybe because they do genuinely think I'm an idiot for not wanting pain relief. I also think people generally, women specifically, like to tell you the absolute worst and for many it seems to be a competition, with the "winner" being the one who went through the most pain, had the most stitches, the longest labour, the most drugs. Its just another thing to compete on like the breast/formula, cloth/disposable, CIO/comforted etc. Such a shame we can't just say hey, I'm sure you'll do great however you choose to go about it and leave the competitive stuff out of it.
I always hate the "brave" comments and I've had them too. I think it's because most of society thinks that birth is so super duper horrible. I mean almost every birth on TV/movies shows a woman screaming and everything is so chaotic.
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