I've been in similar situation
First, I think it's really, really important that you talk with your midwife about all this. Most likely, she is just paving the way, just in case it comes to it. You need to know where you stand though - what are her terms of care? at what point (if any) will she no longer care for you? What would be your options then?
What sort of relationship do you feel you have with your midwife? Would you trust her if she recommended a particular intervention? Perhaps talking to her more frankly would help to alleviate your fears - is she aware of your strong feelings on the subject? It's something she should be able to help you work through, as your carer.

It's just so important that you feel comfortable and confident in your carer. So I hope that you can talk with her and feel better about everything.

With my midwives, because I had been induced at 42 weeks first time round and was very unhappy with the experience, we talked about this ahead of time as it was a source of anxiety for me. We decided we would wait till at least 41 weeks before doing anything. I would consent to a stretch & sweep at close to 42 weeks, if nothing had happened, and monitoring at the hospital from 42 weeks. This was a condition of continuing under her care with the homebirth program, however. I went in at 42+2, having had an S&s the previous day and already starting to lose my plug. The tests all came back fine. Theh OB tried to get me to book in for an inducgtion. I refused. My baby was born the following evening. We ended up transferring and had some issues with the birth and afterwards, but in the end we were happy with our care as our midwives were known to us and i felt safe and respected (even though things didn't exactly go to plan).