9 mth old feeding all night help!

[Kristin27]

When I did try to drop feeds I tried to drop one at a time. This was a nightmare as DD got confused, sometimes I would offer a feed, sometimes not, so in her mind she didn't know what was going on. In the end, when I called for help I was told to just drop all feeds (bar the 11pm rollover) at once.

I agree, I dropped all feeds overnight because doing it once and not another time just frustrated and confused DD.

If you want to try offering the water at night (I just do it in case she's thirsty, I know I always need a drink in the night ) you could give it in a sippy cup or a bottle, whatever he drinks from at meal time. I use a sippy cup.

Do you think the pear could be giving him tummy pains and causing him to be un-settled? I've heard too much apple/pear can give bubs the runs and sore tummies? Just a though...

Good luck tonight and so sorry to hear DH is so sick, chemo is just awful, you're doing such a wonderful job.

[IrishConn]

Hi Kristin and Jackrose,

Thank you so so much for all your brillant advice and kind supportive comments it really made my day!
Kristin I don't think the pear is the problem for him as hes had pear since about 6 months old with no real issues.I think anytime we introduce something new it causes a problem.His doctor said hes got a really sensitive gut.I think I will try the water in a bottle as hes not really got the hang of the sippy cup yet.
Jackrose thats exactly how I felt about introuducing something new I am terrified it will get worse but you are right 5 hours is just not enough and it shows!The only way I catch up is that my husband most mornings looks after him and I get another 2 hours but thats only cause he works part time which won't be forever.I have actually gone to see a psychologist and she told me I had clinical depression which really suprised me but was good to hear as she gave me some things to do which are helping a bit.I will have a look at the info on choking and gagging thanks for that.
I did actually try last night to drop the feed but was not successful.He went down at 6.30 and woke 11.30 and I gave him a big feed then,Then he woke again at 2.30 but was wet so had to change him which is a pain as he wakes up.Then I sat on the rocking chair determined to get him back to sleep.He was so sleep and I nearly cracked it but when I put him the cot he kept waking up and he seemed so hungry so I caved in!!Hes just had croup in the last week so I thought maybe he needed it as hes coughing a lot.He went back to sleep at 3.40 and woke again about 6 when I fed him again.Do ye think it would just be this 2am feed I would need to cut out??
thanks again for all the help yes chemo is not nice but hes not doing too bad and has some bad days but we get through.

[Kmn]

Just wondering - is there any chance he is getting too much caffeine from you? Some babies are really sensitive to it, and a bit passes in to breastmilk - and then you get a situation where a feed wakes them up rather than helping them sleep.
With my DS if I have more than one tea a day I get several wake-ups overnight rather than our usual just one...And it's a nasty cycle because if you are up 4 times a night with your bub then you may well feel like you need coffee to cope with the day!

[jackrose]

I am so pleased to read your post, glad to hear your day was made brighter (), glad your husband is able to give you a few hours sleep in the morning, glad you have been able to get real help from a psychologist and have had your experiences and feelings recognised, glad you were able to give things a go last night and really glad to hear that you are getting through the chemo. You can't ask for more than that!

What a time you are going through! I bet you are pleased to have your little man to focus on when all the other realities pile up to face you. What a blessing.

FWIW I think you did the right thing last night. You gave it a go but had to reassess based on the situation and if he has been sick and didn't like the idea of no boob last night, I agree that now is not the time to push it. Although my DD now sleeps through and has been since I worked at dropping the night feeds, when she is slightly sick or is teething, we are straight back to breast at night . I don't really mind as she obviously needs it and as soon as she is better she is ok without those night feeds again.

Just go with it at the moment and work on dropping those feeds when you feel really ready. I think your DS will sense your resolve when you are ready and know it is right and go with it.
And yes, it sounds as if you only need to drop the 2-2.30 feed, but if you do, you may find he wakes a few more times from then on for a feed when you first drop it as he may be a bit more unsettled. Just keep doing the usual settle routine and he should get the gist.

One other little hint... when I did this, i found it easy to approach it with a system. I realised that it may take a few days and reasoned that it would be short term sleeplessness for me for a long term gain. What I did was get up when she woke in the night, put on a dressing gown and slippers, put the kettle on, and some music or tv for company. Once I had made a cup of tea and was committed to being up I felt much stronger about approaching the resettling and could do it much more calmly. If I simply got out of bed and tried to resettle, I ended up feeling so annoyed and was counting down the moments until I could get back into bed. I was soooo frustrated so it was really counterproductive.

BTW I still joyously appreciate how well she is sleeping now and never take it for granted! You are reminding me once again of how bad it was and how glad I am it is better now! Thanks!

I also thought - why don't you try searching on You Tube for some "Baby led solids" and "Baby led weaning" videos? I found some good ones and thought it might be helpful to see what gagging is all about and see how well babies can actually feed themselves.

[IrishConn]

Hi Kmn,

Thanks for your message,I don't drink coffee anyway and with tea I only have 1 cup in the morning,just before bed I have this breastfeeding tea which is meant to help with digestive problems.I do wonder about certain foods I think that anytime I eat red peppers we have a bad night but its so hard to know as he has so many other issues.
Hi Jackrose,thanks for that information.Yep its been really tough thats for sure but you are right every morning when I get up and get a smile I forget the whole night!Hes such a little character never stops!anyone who meets him says the same thing"hes so alert!"
I had a look at u tube at baby led solids was great to see other babies eating and how they do it but made me a bit sad as my little man is not really doing any of it.The only thing he feeds himself with is toast and marmite and rusks I keep putting other fruit and veg in front of him but no go.But I know he will get it and I just have to be patient.Hes still so bad at night and I really sometimes am clueless why.I write a diary with all the foods hes eaten to see if there is a pattern.Last night he woke after nearly 6 hours which was great.I fed him at 12 and then he was awake again at 2 then 2.30 then 3.30.He seemed to have a pain I thought so gave him some colic drops he woke again at 5.30 but each time he woke crying.I then rack my brains wondering if hes cold,wet,had reflux is it the toast?I think it seems to be thats hes fine after the bottle but when I feed him hes very unsettled.Its so disheartening but I will solider on and wait for the day like your wee one that he sleeps though,I will throw a party that day!!!

[jackrose]

Hi IC!

How are things going in your little world these days? I have been thinking of you and hope that things have improved.

[IrishConn]

Hi Jackrose,

Thanks for your message.Things have improved a wee bit with his eating anyway.I gave him some brocolli yesterday for the first time and he ate some when I gave it to him but today I tried again and after a few goes he picked it up himself and started eating it!in the end I had to take it off him as we had to go somewhere but he loved it!!His sleeping is still so random,he goes 1 good night then 1 bad night,he seems to be teething again so had to give him panadol for a few nights.He was going good at night going nearly 6 hours but the last few nights hes been waking after 4 and I feed him then.A few mornings I have been so tired hes been in bed just sucking not even feeding and I have fallen asleep it might be the teeth.But at least hes eating better.