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Thread: Argh - it begins

  1. #1

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    Default Argh - it begins

    Just got off the phone with mum. I told her Tallon has a bad cough this morning, and he's been wanting lots of milk, so must be sick (thinking how a baby knows to take more breastmilk when they're sick). Anyway... she starts on the whole, maybe your milk isn't nutritious anymore coz you're pregnant... what?? but you'll want him weaned before the baby comes!.. he'll want to feed whenever the baby feeds!... he'll take the goodness away from the baby!...

    *sigh*

    I told her that if I start to suffer feeding him during the pg, then I'm not going to be silly about it, I'll wean him if I feel it's draining me too much. But I told her I'd rather he still have my milk than cows milk, and I'll let him feed until he stops - but her response to that was he wont' wean coz he likes the sucking I told her I've got a book waiting for me at the PO box called Adventures in Tandem Feeding which will probably cover all the questions about feeding both a toddler and a baby. I've got the ABA booklet on Feeding during pregnancy, which I'll have to get her to read too.

    And all this is just from mum... wait until everyone else finds out that I'm pregnant, and *shock horror* that I'm still feeding Tallon.



    Angel - if you see this, I'd be interested to know how Kynan is going with regard to seeing the new baby feed. I'm sure this book will have experiences... in fact I've read that it can help overcome any jealousy issues and can help the two form a great bond coz they have feeding to share.

    Sorry, it's a bit of a vent, but wanted to post in here rather than the boohoo room.

  2. #2

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    oh Liz *hugs* its hard because other people just don't understand. I have no answers for you just *hugs*

  3. #3

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    Thanks Christy. I should probably add that mum does come around to a degree, she read Pinky's book about sleep and has stopped telling me to teach him to sleep (she still does have the odd comment like "why can't he just be put to bed" but that's ok.. I'd like it that way too... but it's just not how it's working for us. hehe.

    So probably once I can give her some 'official' answers to her questions she'll be ok... it's just so very tirinig to have everything we do questioned in such a way that it feels unsupportive or that we're nutters for considering it. Some support from the beginning would be nice

  4. #4

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    Oh Liz, hope you get the message across...

    Btw, I didn't know you were pg already - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Hope your pg is a h&h one and how exciting that you'll have two little people to have Christmas with this year!!

    Can you believe how quickly it happened this time???

  5. #5

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    Hey Liz, not sure what you're planning, but I'd love to be around if you bring up tandem breastfeeding!!

  6. #6

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    Liz, let me know what that tandem feeding book is like! I considered getting it but just never got around to it LOL.

    K gets a little jealous occasionally when he sees J having a b/f. Now & then he will throw his toys or push things off the table but he is getting much better now. I try to make sure that there is something that K & I can do whilst I'm b/fing J (usually I will get K to choose some books and we will read those). Often he does want to have b/f too when he sees J feeding. Sometimes I want to let J feed first so I'll ask K to wait a few minutes if he wants to b/f too... I'll ask him if we can read a book first or ask him to finish his own snack/meal first and then he can have the breast that J's just finished with while J has the other side. He's usually okay with it. I try to make sure K gets to b/f on his own throughout the day too so that he doesn't always have to share me. And I keep bedtime feeds separate. J has his bedtime feed by himself and then if K is still unsettled we have our own special b/f & cuddle time. Anyway, that's just what seems to be working for us so far!

    I've b/f both K & J at the same time on a number of occasions now and aside from some initial positioning difficulty it works quite well. K often reaches over and pats J's hand or points to his nose/mouth/ears etc. There really haven't been as many jealousy issues as I expected. I think it really does help that K knows that he can still have booby too. On the whole he has been really good with J and is even holding J's hand, patting his head and kissing him.

    Are you a member of the ABA? It's nice to have that support there. I finally made it to my first ABA meeting today and it was really nice to be around people who don't look at you strangely when they find out you are tandem feeding!
    Last edited by Angel; August 7th, 2007 at 01:33 PM.

  7. #7

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    The book was there today, so I'll be having a look at it tonight hopefully. I'll let you know Angel! Sounds like you're working out what works for you guys. That's so sweet having them feed together and Kynan touching Jedrek like that. That's beautiful

    Personally I feel if I force Tallon to wean (especially if I do it close to when bub is due) that there'd be MORE of an issue with feeding the new baby. Much nicer to just let him keep feeding and work around it when the time comes.

    I am a member of the ABA, but I've never gone to any meetings, only a breastfeeding class when Tallon was very new (I was supposed to be pg when I went.. but he came early! hehe). I have considered going to get support with feeding now that I'm pg, I'm guessing it would be the same counsellors as were at the class, so there'd be a few familiar faces. I don't think I'm in FJ's area... I'll have to ask her.

    Thanks everyone... can always rely on support from here if no where else

  8. #8

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    Hi Liz, I am also getting "maria must be weaned by the time the new baby gets here" from Dh and my family.

  9. #9

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    Liz, you want to try doing it with a 2 year old too. LOL. Already I get isn't it time to wean her, without the added extra

    Can I ask a question of you girls that were breastfeeding when you fell, did you find any chnages in your breasts early on like you normally do in early pregnancy. I ask this because I am having none. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not that I want them, was just wondering. Still it is only early days.

    Oh and Liz, as long as you adn Tallon are still enjoying breastfeeding and it's not painful or uncomfortable for you why stop !! Imagine how good it will be to have a bigger baby to take away the engorgement

  10. #10

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    I've had no changes in my boobs either Trish. Makes me wonder if I should go POAS! hehe.

    Altho.. I have had a couple of ouchie moments when he attaches, so they might be getting a bit more sensitive. But otherwise, no changes in anything. Supply seems to be going strong.

    I agree on having the bigger baby for the engorgement.. hopefully I won't be squirting aroudn the room with all the extra milk! LOL.

  11. #11

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    PMSL, yeah I thought too should I go and re test but judging by my already growing stomach!! I don't need to.

  12. #12

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    Trish and Liz, I have noticed a change in breastfeeding, it is more painful when Maria attaches, kind of like right at the beginning when I was learning to breastfeed.

  13. #13

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    Louise - yeah that's what it feels like. Funny that it's only my left one that feels a bit sensitive!

    I've only read the intro and the first bit of the first chapter of this book... and it's FANTASTIC. Just makes it all feel so right. It speaks about how big a part of the mum-baby relationship b/f is, and there's MUCH to consider before weaning. I'm looking forward to reading the rest!

    Oh - and it has a whole chapter on Dealing with Doubters. LOL. Even mum laughed when I read that out from the contents page. Hopefully if this book can answer mum's questions.. which are quite valid really.. she'll come around and realise just what a beautiful experience it could be!

  14. #14

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    The book sounds great, Liz! I might have to get a copy.

    I didn't notice too many changes with the boobs in early PG either, just some extra sensitivity on and off.

  15. #15

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    Damn, and here I was hoping for the "growth" spurt

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