Life Subscriber
Christy, isn't it amazing. No wonder people give up so easily!
The same thing happened when I announced I was pg again. I can't believe the number of people, including close family members, who told me that now I have to stop bfing Jack. My GP and Ob both told me I could keep feeding, but despite this I had a lot of pressure to stop and kept getting asked "have you weaned Jack yet?". As it turned out he self-weaned when I was about 3 1/2 months pg (I think my milk dried up). I was really sad. I sent a group email to family and friends telling them how sad I was but nearly every reply said "how good that you won't have to feed two" and "about time" or something like that. Thanks for the support!!
Registered User
Thankfully, after feeding Noah until he was 20 months old i haven't been given any pressure to stop with Tehya, YET! Although I do hear the odd comment like, Oh Trisha breastfeeds until her kids are 5. Not that I do but if I did it would be my choice.
Moderator
Melanie, I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with Imran. I even had a GP tell me that I would have to wean. I've never been back LOL.
Imran is only 4 months old but MIL is already beginning to ask about how long it is until I stop and trying to hint that I should be starting solids. She almost had a heart attack when DH told her that I was planning to BF Imran until he was 2.
Registered User
Good on you, Dach, always great to find something to pi$$ off MIL and be doing a good thing for your kids at the same time! Pity Yasin weaned himself and you couldn't tandem feed the two of them, that would just about have sent her off the edge!!
Registered User
Yes I think this is a very good point. I have a site, not a parenting site but I put articles like this and on co-sleeping etc to get it out there. I figure the more its around the more 'normal' it will become and it will help raise awareness in people before they become parents or hopefully raise some awareness in their parents etc...
Anyway I won't go into too much details here but I think this is very important because there is alot of grandmothers now or soon to be grandmothers out there who formula fed their children because the genuinely beleive they wern't making enough, ofcourse this could be true for some but as we know, not all. The problem here is when their children have babies that same belief is passed onto them by their mothers and within days of birth they give up thinking the same thing which I think is such a shame, of course again this could be true for some but I 'assume' this happens alot especially to mothers having their first child, I wonder can you really tell in a couple of days? anyone know?
Moderator
Kelly - the link to the article is no longer working. I just wanted to have another read of it.
Had an interesting conversation with my step MIL last night, she is a high level nurse who once worked in PNG. She saw first hand the damage that Nestle did to the tribes by giving out 6 weeks worth of formula to the tribal mums, fortunately the govt banned the practise. It really makes it sink in a lot more to talk to someone who has actually seen what has happened
Moderator
Astrid, check your PMs
♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
Kelly xx
Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
Registered User
Fantastic article!! Yeeha to the person who wrote it.......
Registered User
Response to article
I think rather than debating breast versus bottle which at a forum level can only be based on emotion and anecdotes, I would like to see bellybelly members respond by
demanding and campaigning for transparency from and regulation of formula producers for the right of ALL mothers everywhere -whether bottle feeding or breastfeeding
- we have a right to know what is in formula and to have the industry suitably regulated.
IFF (If and only if) formula is so bad, then lets get a viable alternative whether chemically based, EBM banks, wet nurses, free education, free laction specialists available 24/7 and so on. We can't do that without some kind of basis of the negativeness of formula.
Bottle = babykiller?!? No - disempowerment, poverty, lack of sanitation, misinformation, guilt, lack of support, starvation, dirty water, AIDS, postnatal depression --> these are babykillers.
Maybe we could create a less emotional, point form summary of the important points so everyone could gain from this article. I'm happy to start it and have others edit it?? We should also have the response from Nestle to the allegations available too (I have one of these letters if anyone wants a copy).
Kelly and anyone else- if this is too inflammatory I truly apologise. That's not what I'm trying to do. I have both exclusively bottle and breast fed each of my girls so feel that I have a foot in each camp.
Thank-you for publishing this article, An article like this is great, as it keeps us informed about our choices or lack of, and hopefully agitates us to action for mummies!
I have only just read this article. I have a few thoughts so Ill talk about them below.
Firstly, I think every mother wants the BEST for her baby. I agree that in a normal, problem free situation, breast is best. But having said that, would a drinking, smoking, drug using mother on a poor diet have the best breask milk to give her baby?
I have a almost 2 year old boy. I wanted to bf him, and I found it dreadfully difficult. I was a new mother, in a maternity ward with some midwives who mustve just assumed I had the knowledge, not just talking bf here, talking other things as well. I had plenty of mw's show me how to do breastfeed, but they each had their own technique. I found this confusing and I got frustrated. I have stange nipples. I wouldnt call them inverted, but the nipple doesnt stand out unless its cold etc. My son had trouble attaching. Some midwives would tell me he was attached and others would say he wasnt when I was doing what I thought was right. The first night we bought him home, he cried all night, I was in tears, and in a dreadful state of mind, I had had depression for about 4 years before having him, so no surprise when I developed PND. There were a number of factors that contributed to it which I wont go into here, but all that, on top of me not knowing how to breastfeed properly made life extremely difficult. In the end I rang the hospital and told them I was having trouble. They arranged for a mw to come out and see me. She showed me how to attach him and by that time I had sore, scabby, painful nipples from him being attached wrong. I think that was the first time he was able to have a proper feed, when she was there to attach him. She even showed me how to express. She also told me that day that "this baby is hungry" and he had in fact lost more than the normal 10% of his birth rate. I cannot begin to tell you the anguish that caused me. I put him on formula that day. I will admit with a bit more education and the skill and confidence to attach him properly and Im sure we wouldve been fine. I kept him on formula, and have had no problems since.
Next baby I will give breastfeeding my all. I have only just found out that such a thing exists to "suction" your nipples to make them poke out so that bubs can latch on. A small pump that you use before you are ready to feed bubs. I will be armed with one of those. I will also get a mw to come see me again if I am having problems, and I will get her (or someone) to come again if Im still having trouble. I feel second time round that I am in a better place to be successful.
Having said that, I too am on 300mg of Effexor daily and worry about this being passed on to my baby. In reality, once I stop bf the baby will have withdrawals from the medication, this worries me. Also, I worry that I will have to reduce my dosage. Knowing myself like no one else does, I can honestly say that having me depressed and not medicated enough is far worse than having a baby formula fed. These are the things that need to be sorted prior to the baby's arrival, and me making an informed decision.
Lastly, one of the benefits of bf is the increased immunity. Im not trying to cause trouble, I do agree that within the right environment breast is best, but I have a friend who exclusively bf her bub and she was always sick within her first year. My son has been and is incredibly healthy. Surely there is something in that, other than me being "lucky"?
Oh and I dissaprove strongly of 3rd world Dr's being paid by the formula companies to promote formula feeding. That is despicable!
Life Subscriber
Thank you for sharing your story. How awful for you to have such a difficult start with a new baby. Sadly the problem of bad bfing advice in hossy is too common.
I think the best preparation for bfing is to attend an ABA class while pg. It is so helpful to have information up front and to rely less on the mws, many of whom are not trained to assist with bfing. I would recommend that you hire a LC next time, rather than contact a mw, as a qualified LC will give you the very best bfing advice and assistance. Also WRT to your medication, there is a doctor at the Monash drug information line who specialises is bfing and drugs. If you would like his number just post again and one of us will post it for you. He has the very best info on what is safe and wasn't isn't.
I hope that with the experience you have from your first baby, and with the knowledge and support that you can get from here, the ABA etc, that you are able to bf next time. It is a really great feeling when you get it all working. Best of luck to you, and big hugs for the pain that you have been through.
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