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Thread: Bit nervous/guilty about ttc #2 while b/f

  1. #1

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    Default Bit nervous/guilty about ttc #2 while b/f

    I'm really looking forward to ttc #2 in the next couple of months, and should we be successful, DS will be 1 when we conceive.

    I plan to continue the b/f as long as possible throughout the pg, but then i get niggling worries that he might self-wean and I'd be robbing him of that 2nd year of breastfeeding.



    We rely on breastfeeding for so much, settling, sleeping etc, that I'm a bit nervous of him weaning, coz I won't know how to settle him! LOL. We still have soooo many b/f's that deep down I don't feel like he'll wean (unless the milk really turns on him) but it's still a niggling worry

    Anyone have any advice or words of wisdom?

  2. #2

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    I don't have any words of wisdom sorry, just that I understand your worries. I got pregnant when my daughter was over 2yo, and it hurt so much to breastfeed that she ended up weaning. I tried for several months into pregnancy, but I think me yelling ouch each time really put her off.

    She really wanted to keep going, and would get sad and say she wants to try, whenever she saw others feeding. I told her she could try when baby number two comes along, but when he did, she never wanted to try. She did want to, but she kept saying her mouth was dirty, and just wouldn't try. So I basically forced her to wean I guess.

    I am thinking that if I feel bad enough at that age, I can understand your huge worry at Tallons young age.

    BUT, in saying all of that, I have known so many mums who haven't had a problem with baby weaning and have carried on to tandem feed just fine.

    I guess you have to be prepared for both scenarios. It is a possibility that weaning might happen and it is better for you to be prepared for how you feel about that now in case. But it is also a possibility that weaning might not happen and with the right support you will probably get through just fine.

    Linda.

  3. #3

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    IKWYM Liz. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that Kynan's not getting much milk out of me these days (my supply has dropped a lot in the last few months). Although, that said, he's not weaning because of it - he's actually increased the number of times he wants a BF! If he wakes in the middle of the night the easiest way to settle him still is to bring him into bed with us and give him a BF. There might not be much milk left but he's still happy to comfort suck. He's always been a booby boy though. The only time during the PG where he's fussed a bit was at around 25w and I think that was when I started getting more colostrum. He didn't want his night feeds for a few days but then once he'd gotten used to the change that's when he upped his feeds.

    I am glad now though that we didn't conceive until after Kynan had turned 1 because I don't have the added stress of wondering if Kynan is getting enough milk as he gets most of what he needs from the solids he eats.

    Hope that has been of some help/reassurance to you!

  4. #4

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    Liz, I'll put a slightly different spin on it for you by giving you the example of what happened to me and my babes.....Olivia was BF and weaned the minute she tried solids (at 6 months) and totally refused the boob and I was devestated.

    Charlie flat refused the boob at the same time that he started solids, which was also the exact same time as I unexpected'dly fell pg with Lexie. Again, I was heartbroken.

    (I had always planned on getting to at least 12 months with both of them)

    However, I look at Olivia now, nearly 3, she is so perfect, I honestly don't think she suffered at all.

    Charlie....well, you couldn't wish to meet a happier more content little boy. He is 18 months, adores his little sister, and he is so happy.

    So, I guess my point is, that, in my circumstances, the only person that "suffered" for their "loss" of extended BF, is me, the Mummy, because I did initially feel guilty.

    But now I don't at all, becasue I can see that all the timings and circumstances happened for a reason, and my babies are not phased by any of it at all!

    That is just my personal take on my circumstances. I would have loved to BF till over 12 months, but it was simply not meant to be in my case, and no one is suffering becasue of it at all, now that I have 'let go" of my "guilt".

    Not sure if that helps you any?

  5. #5

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    Angel - That's so great that Kynan is still feeding regardless of what he's actually getting! I read that you know it's changed to colostrum coz the toddler's poos get runnier (due to the laxative effect of colostrum). Did that happen? Tallon's definitely a booby boy too.. it's hard to imagine him giving it up for anything! LOL. I'm pretty confident that b/f would go for aaaages should I not get pregnant, which is why I feel if I get pregnant and he weans, that it'd be my fault, coz otherwise he would have continued.

    I know he'll just cruise with whatever happens, and he'll remain a happy healthy boy, it's just that I was really hoping to get to 2years feeding for each kid. Guess we just wait and see huh. I didn't have sensitive nipples at all during my first pg, so hopefully that won't be an issue during the next one.

    Thanks guys, I'll just do my best to keep feeding him I guess and I'll be pleased that we got to 12 months (I'm assuming he won't wean in the next 2 months! LOL) if that's as far as we get.

  6. #6

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    Liz, yeah Kynan's poos have tended to be quite a bit softer and more frequent (from once a day to 3-4 times a day sometimes) the last few weeks but it hasn't been as bad as I'd imagined. I though he might start doing those horrible runny teething-like poos but thankfully they haven't been that bad.

    FWIW, I have had sensitive nipples on occasion this PG (I did with Kynan's PG too though) but luckily it's never been bad enough to make me want to wean him.

    All the best!

  7. #7

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    Liz, truthfully I am still a bit sad that Jack self weaned at 14 months when I was about 3 or 4 months pg. I really wanted to make it to 2 years too. But I have to say, he really doesn't seem to have missed out on anything. He weaned quite happily by dropping one feed at a time and didn't seem to miss it at all. And health wise he is perfect. Also now he has a beautiful little brother who he really loves. So there are pros and cons!

    Also, it's not a given that they will self wean. I know heaps of people who are tandem feeding. I think in my case I was underweight and losing weight while bfing so I suspect it was just too much for my body to nourish a toddler, a foetus and me.

    Good luck. I hope you manage to maintain bfing throughout pg.

  8. #8

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    Indah stopped feeding when I got a +HPT ( a surprise +)..

    She fed til 14mths so I was happy with that & she had kinda stopped feeding daily anyways & was having a feed when she wanted it, but it was maybe none 1 day & then 2 the next & then 1 the following & none the next... so I just let her lead & when I saw the 2 lines, Indah refused a feed that eveining & hasnt had 1 since!

    I did feel a bit sad, but I knew it meant I could start from a newborn again & I am so looking forward to that!!

    Good Luck.....

  9. #9

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    Well, Tallon has about a GAZILLION feeds each day still (at least! LOL) So it'll be a shock to his system and mine if he suddenly weans. Deep down I don't feel like he will. But you're right Tracey .. I can always just look forward to feeding the next bub!

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    I though he might start doing those horrible runny teething-like poos but thankfully they haven't been that bad.
    I take it back!! OMG do I take it back! It is that bad LOL. I don't know if there's more colostrum now or it's the more frequent feeding but the nappies just keep getting worse. It's awful LOL!

  11. #11

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    LOL oh no Angel! Could he be teething? Hope so - so that it's only temporary! LOL.

    Aah well.. think of it as one of those cleansing diets for him. Probably good for his bowel!

  12. #12

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    LOL I hope it is just teething but I suppose if it is the change in milk at least there's not too much longer to go. He produced such a bad nappy the other day that I just couldn't handle cleaning it up - I left it on top of the nappy bucket for DH to deal with when he got home from work. And the lovely man didn't even complain... so glad I married him LOL

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