I was breastfed and cloth bummed, and so was my OH, so both my mum and MIL supported us completely. The only slight issue we had was disbelief when we said we would not smack our kids, but my MIL (who was a spare the rod, spoil the child kind of a mum which OH still gets upset over) has since admitted that our kids are well behaved lovely children and we are good parents. She even asked my advice on interacting with another of her grandchildren as her methods were failing and mine seem to work.
Basically what I am saying is, time will tell. Anyone who is in opposition to your methods will more than likely come to respect them over time when they see how happy and healthy your kids are. It is a learning process for everyone when a new bubba is born.
My parents and MIL have never come out and said they disagree with the way I parent... but there have been enough subtle comments along the way for me to know that it's certainly not the way they would have done things.
I remember my mum saying to me when DS was only small that she thought breastfeeding beyond 12 months was a bit 'weird' - but now that I'm still breastfeeding at over 13 months, she hasn't said a word. So, either she's biting her tongue or she doesn't think it's so weird anymore.
Baby led solids is another area where my parents and MIL seem uncomfortable. My dad is always trying to spoon feed DS (even ridiculous things, like bits of muffin!), and my MIL seems horrified about all the food DS drops on the floor, telling me "You really should train that son of yours not to drop food on the floor"... yeah, because my son is a dog that needs training??? .
And just in general, my parents and MIL have made plenty of comments along the lines of... being too gentle = kids running a muck and ending up in jail.
But for the most part my parents and MIL keep their mouths shut - not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I wonder what they're really thinking...
Thanks everyone for your replies (and virtual hugs!) so far.
It is certainly a comfort to hear that I'm not the only one with a similar experience of 'questionable' support from parents! I am a bit envious of those of you with parents who fully support your parenting style (must be great to be able to discuss things openly with them without feeling judged or needing to justify things).
I'm still fuming from my mother's comments/attitude and have been 'screening' her calls the last couple of days...(yes a bit juvenile, however, I just couldn't bring myself to speak to her!). I guess I just need to accept that she has a different opinion on things and perhaps she is too engrained in those to accept/consider alternatives (particularly as she sees my approach as not mainstream).
My challenge is to not tell her how tired I am etc if I have been up all night with DS - its times like that when she says....well, you know what the solution is (ie meaning let him CIO)...
Thanks again for your replies/support - it really helps!
I have a thread which i posted about 3 months ago regarding 'Help , being pressured to give up breastfeeding'
My DH was/is disgusted that i am still breastfeeding DD and at 4 months old he expected me to quit breastfeeding and put her on the bottle as it 'looks weird breastfeeding a 'bigger' baby'. His mother - was the same, both asking me when i was going to quit. It has been a long battle but now that i have stood my ground and told them that i am not stopping anytime soon they have started to leave me alone.
My mum and sister are very supportive of my breastfeeding as they both breastfed for 2-3 years each child, so in that sense i have support there.
On the other hand my MIL likes my gentle parenting regarding not letting DD cry and attending to her quickly and my parents cannot believe that i wont let DD cry. They are appalled by it and probably think that my child is going to turn into a little brat , it bugs me so much when they say 'just leave her, let her cry' but i cannot understand why i would let her cry when there is no reason to keep her upset, there is obviously something wrong when DD is crying.
Its amazing that everyone has their own opinion regarding your parenting style, how often you breastfeed your little one or how long you let them cry ...
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