Feeding on demand vs routine

[Willow]

I was the same, just went with the flow this time regarding night feeds in the *hope* that eventually he would drop night feeds when he was ready...ummm, still waiting 6 months later!! He feeds at 10pm (sometimes only makes it to 9pm lately...) 1.30am and then about 5am. After 6 months I have to admit it's killing me. I'm a bit disappointed at this point that demand feeding overnight hasn't really 'worked out' for us, I'd like to be getting more sleep by now. With DD I encouraged her to drop the middle of the night feed at about 4-5 months, I just resettled instead and that seemed to work with her. DS just screamed the house down when I attempted to resettle him last night. I'm outta ideas!

So I just wanted to say I think you should decide what works for you and got with that, rather than going along thinking eventually he will 'do it himself' because not all of them do and then you might have to come up with a plan B. I do think it might be a bit unrealistic at 6 weeks especially.

But maybe I'm just one of the unlucky ones! LOL.

[meow]

I do think it might be a bit unrealistic at 6 weeks especially.

This is the bit that I still don't really get... as I said my MIL raised 5 children this way so they obviously didn't die (though I think they have attachment issues- but that may not be related to their night time feeds) but it seems so young to impose such a routine IMO. Hence why I wondered if it's possible to happen naturally for demand fed babies.

[Sammiejane]

Ren - Molly Jane did it nauturally... last night she slept from 9pm to 3am and then woke for a feed.

She cluster feeds in the evening from about 5.30 -6pm, my guess is she is preparing for an over night sleep session, we did nothing to encourage this, just followed her lead (she knows what she wants and needs IMO)

[meow]

You're blessed Sammie! Espen was feeding more like every 2-3 hours yesterday and last night. Hopefully he'll stretch them out a little again!

[MantaRay]

I do believe it will happen naturally in most cases. They just have different needs. Jack could go all night without a feed from early on, but even now doesn't eat much. Tom on the other hand needed the night feed until he was a year old, he just couldn't get through the night without it (not often anyway, there was the odd night!). And even now he is a big eater - during the day he can barely last between meals - he just needs to eat often (as do I btw, here I am eating lunch at 11am bcos I just can't wait any longer LOL). It's just their make up. "Training" them to not have the feed might work in the short term, but I suspect that down the track it can potentially cause other issues. My advice is to stick with the demand feeding while it is working for you. If you get too exhausted down the track you can look at other options then.

[Willow]

MR - what are the other options? I just don't know what to do with this boy so I'm open to anything right now! The thought of doing these night feeds for another 6 months fills me with dread. I just want to get a bit more sleep. And when I go back to work in Sept I'm going to NEED more sleep. I'm hoping that the introduciton of solids will help but everyone keeps telling me it won't.

I was happy to go with his lead but it just doesn't seem like there's any end in sight!

He's always been a big hungry boy, maybe I just need to accept that that's the way things are and give up on the idea of sleep for now.

Sorry to hijack Ren...

[MantaRay]

Willow, it is hard isn't it. I know I was the same when Tom was waking every night, but at least it was just for a quick feed and then straight back to sleep. Not like Jack when his sleeping started getting out of control!!

Firsly, are you giving him a dream feed? If not that might be worth a try. I used to dream feed Tom and this would mostly cut his night wakings down from 2 to 1. Or, otherwise, the way I see it, you have a few options. You can continue feeding him. Or you can get your DH to give him a bottle/cup, at least every second night so you take it in turns. Or you can night wean - try settling instead of feeding and if that fails give him water and not milk. Sometimes that works best if you go away for the night so they know they can't have mum and her bbs. If you go down that path, I would try and give him an extra feed before bed.

WRT solids, I agree that it is no a magic cure. I found that at first it made Tom sleep worse. In fact 3 of us in my baby buddies group found the same thing at the same time. Tom loved solids and reduced his milk intake, then was needing more milk in the night. I cut his solids back down and he went back to his old sleeping habits.

BUT time does help. At some point - it could be tomorrow, next week or in 6 months, he will not need that feed any more. It's just a matter of whether you can wait that long!

[Liz]

They do sleep through eventually - just don't limit 'eventually' to a specific time. DS's 'eventually' was only recently - and he's 2! He hasn't fed overnight for a long time now, but he still wakes.

DD is still feeding heaps overnight. She's a distracted feeder through the day tho, so she's probably catching up on feeds during the night. Last night was very tiring.. I suspect we're in for a growth spurt or something because it was more than normal.

DD is in a cot attached to our bed, so I'm not really waking up properly to feed.. I'm doing it in a half sleepy daze LOL. So sleep deprivation isn't hitting me too hard. If I had to get up to go to another room and sit there and feed, I'd probably struggle getting back to sleep.

I agree with Kelly that routines are very tempting during the rough patches. But they seem to be too much work for me LOL. I find it easier & quicker to ride it out. It does pass. It feels like forever in the middle of it, but goodness me, time flies by so quick, they're 2 before you know it! It's such a short time in their lives, try and keep at it where you can, and don't worry about when they will sleep through.