VENT- if my MIL suggests bottle feeding one more time...

[dusty]

I'm going to scream! Arghh I've only pumped a few times & tried 10 week old DD on EBM once but now my MIL wants to use that 300ml left for every occasion/opportunity! I'm taking this all slowly as I love BF & want to establish it solidly for us both & I have 2 boobs available 24/7 so I don't need to feed her EBM just because it's in the freezer....grrrr
I know she's trying to help but that isn't the best way.
Vent over .

[UntoldAngel]

Yep got the same, except they wanted to use formula and threw away a bottle of EBM I had WTF???

[onthefly]

Maybe you could suggest that she gives a bottle if she can lactate and fill it....

Somebody threw away EBM..! i'd cry

[*LovemyKids*]

Whenever ds cries mil says oh he is probably hungry give him a bottle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHAT THE???????
Funniest thing the other day outf the blue says to me does he like water??? Isaid yeah he loves the bath!!!!!!!!!!!!
She meant in a bottle !!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
She didnt like it when i told her that BF babies dont need water!!
Obviously you can tell my mil likes bottle fed babies not bf!!!!!

grrr at mil's i feel your pain!!!!!!!!

[UntoldAngel]

Somebody threw away EBM..! i'd cry

I did cry marcellus! I was still trying to settle my engorgement and get bub to gain weight

[Marnikat]

Maybe say something like 'well I can feed DD but if you want to feed someone you can cook for me' I don't know if that will work, but you may get a meal out of it!

[suse]

beautiful. One thing you're probably finding is that everyone has an opinion, and they are not always diplomatic about expressing them. Just let her know that you have the EBM there for emergencies but don't feel any need to use it yet - you are enjoying Miss F too much to miss out on any opportunity with her.

On wasted EBM - a friend of mine used his DP's EBM in coffee because he couldn't be bothered going to buy milk one morning.

[dusty]

I'm being somewhat disingenuous as mil is doing her best to help us out. It comes down to her wanting to help take a load off me so I can sleep through one feed period. I just can't imagine doing that right now as our BF is so early on. I don't really know anymore as I'm so damn tired & can't think straight!
Thanks for your replies. I'd cry over thrown out milk too.
How did the coffee taste Suse?

[Shanti]

just ignore her.

When DD was only a few weeks old, I think 3 weeks old, MIL and FIL both said to me "just bottle feed her, that way you can enjoy your alcohol" ..... I was like "okkaaay"..... (MIL bottle fed both her boys).

Much to their dismay, I am STILL BF her hehe

[Jennifer13]

Perhaps you could just explain to her that if you skip a feed you'd need to get out the pump and express anyway, therefore not saving yourself any time and adding extra hassle. She's only trying to be helpful, I'm sure, but many people don't understand the physical implications of bfing.

There are ways to help you out with your baby so you can get more sleep. Ask her to settle Freya after a feed if she needs changing and isn't asleep, and you take yourself off to bed. Hand her over for bathing, or for a walk around the block in the pram (something Grandma's seem to love doing!) while you grab a quick nap. Help with dinner, washing, etc. If you suggest things and then do go and have a rest, she'll likely feel she's contributing and you might just grab some extra sleep.

FWIW I'm actually firmly of the opinion that usually mothers and babies need everything around them taken care of so they can just do their own thing, rather than have anyone step in and take the baby, but I understand what families can be like to deal with! GL!

When does she leave LOL?

[tinkerbelle]

MIL conflicts - so annoying! The thing is.. you shouldnt have to explain why you are doing what your doing..
Im not the greatest one for taking my own advice but I think just keep it simple.. 'no thanks' Im trying to establish solid breastfeeding' and just keep restating that every time it becomes an issue..

[Trillian]

Awww and she was being so good too! maybe it's just the Granny excitement getting her all carried away? Maybe make it clear that it is for extra special emergencies such as if you are sick and can't feed and for the time being you are just building a supply of EBM for her?

[Miss.September]

Perhaps you could just explain to her that if you skip a feed you'd need to get out the pump and express anyway, therefore not saving yourself any time and adding extra hassle. She's only trying to be helpful, I'm sure, but many people don't understand the physical implications of bfing.

:yeahthat:

I still remember when DD missed her first night time feed, she was about 6 weeks old and I lay there begging her to wake up so the pain would go away. Not as simple as skipping a feed as people think.