I can totally understand your aniexty...I was like that too. So I ended up just sticking to the puree'd/mashed foods at the beginning, and the only finger foods DS got was teething rusks (as he never really got to the point to need to swallow it, but at least he was learning the chewing action). Oh and I also was given one of those chewy sacks (not sure how to explain it, but you can get them in the baby isle at the supermarkets, its kinda a netting with a little handle for them to hold).

Then about 1 month ago I started to give him steamed vegies, soft fruits, BBQ and only a couple of days of toast, where I would sit and watch. He would occassionally gag, which I went into a panic and usually ended the session after 3 gags (couldn't handle it much longer then that). But 2 weeks ago he has all of a sudden started to swallow it alot better, with less gagging and even though I panic a little - I know he is getting the idea (I now cheer him after a gag, as i find it better then showing the worried look on my face). I also now don't watch his face directly, i kind look behind him and listen because if I watch I worry more.

Good luck with it all, I'm sure it will all feel better in time.