'If they can ask for it, it's time to stop'.

[Gigi]

so sad, i got it too - from when bilby was five months old (the social pressure NOT to breastfeed her).

i worked out eventually, every person who made a comment, it was about THEM, not about my child and her nutrition.

it's hard to be a one woman education program, when all you want to do is feed your child and get on with your life.

so to have your head around what you are doing, feel confident and strong with your position, - well it's good to have all that sorted out BEFORE you are feeding in front of your friends, so that when the comments come you
- were prepared for it mentally, so it won't hit you as hard (regardless if you want to comment or not)

i had people make comments, as if they were trying to provoke me. Like if i said anything pro-bf-ing, i would cop a big serve. So i decided, when i felt strong engough to make comments (took me quite a while) - that i would only say "i" statements, and postive statements - prolly cos i am so scared of any conflict - e.g "it's working for our family", "yes, it's a decision we're really happy with and bilby is so healthy, so we coudn't be happier with our decision". "it's not for everyone, but it is right for us".

I realised i wasn't going to get support IRL, so i found it online (BB, la leche, kellymom, aba, FB), had my aba calendar on the kitchen wall where i coulod see it every day - just the sight of those pro bf-ing pics helped me, had my aba subscription, which meant every two months, a copy of their mag, ESSENCE, arrived in my letterbox, and i would read it cover to cover - chock a block with pro-bfing info from real mums allover Australia. So find support where you can. Everyone around me was formula feeding, so i had to search for support. And i learnt NEVER to mention any problems with bf-ing, as if i mentioned anything like that, the 100% FF mums around me, would then say "your problem willl be solved if you formula feed". So choose where you speak about bf-ing. tread carefully - if you get postiive vibes, keep going. It's sad, but i found it very true. Happy or sad stories, i found i had to make sure i shared my experiences in a safe environment. I was bursting with happiness about how healthy my baby was, not getting sick like her peers, but i had to "sit" on that, not talk about it, as i knew it would get a bad reaction.

[Snacks]

I wish i had said something now. NOt something antagonistic but just a statement that i will probaby still be feeding DD when she is able to ask for it.

You could probably just continue in that fashion though - if someone says something, just give them a simple response. E.g. "Are you STILL breastfeeding?!?" "Yes - we have no good reason to stop yet."
If you don't want to be the activist, you don't have to go into detail. If people are silly enough to question you just give them a simple answer.
It's hard though when you're on display! I found I was very fortunate to have supportive people around me. The only people who gave me surprised looks when I was feeding P beyond 1yo were my MG friends and because they're obviously all parents themselves they were very 'tolerant' of whatever we were all doing differently.
I hope your friends surprise you and are still supportive once they've seen how normal breastfeeding into toddlerhood is.

[NaeNae]

My BFF thinks feeding an older baby is creepy. Her other firends that have become mummies over the last few years have not BF for as long as we have. DD is 17 months old and while she only really feeds to sleep now, I still have no issues feeding her if we are out in public. If I don't offer, DD will pull down my top exposing me to everyone

I try to throw in a BF deliberately when I am around BFF even if it makes her uncomfortable because, as she is yet to become a mother herself, I want her to see that its normal and a 17 month baby/toddler feeding is still just as beautiful as a 1 month old.

I think the more people are exposed to it the more "normal" it becomes. I think part of the problem is that as babies get older and feed less frequently you are less likely to see a mother BF an older baby/toddler.

Look at me for instance DD only feeds to sleep now and most of the time we are at home when she needs to be fed!!

Just think about how funny it will be when that mentioned friend becomes a mother and she cops comments like this, you'll be able to offer your full support and without saying anything directly, mention how hurtful it is when people are not accepting what is a perfectly normal thing.



Nae x x x