'If they can ask for it, it's time to stop'.

[Lily Dust]

Hun, you are not alone on feeling this way and I want to say how proud I am of you! I still BF but am ashamed to say a 'closet feeder' now, beacause it is just another decision I have to defend and I simply (at this time) dont have the energy to fight it I have fought about it with my family and friends since she was birthed! I dont lie, I just dont bring it up and have been known to say 'no longer feeding' to FIL to save the disaster that will occur.

Not really a helpful post but I am sorry you are meeting such negativity but I am SO proud of you for being true to yourself and your little girl. Must say Pandoras quote is awesome and I may just have to reinstate the 'fight'

[briggsy's girl]

My DD started asking at 8 months - no way was i stopping then!!

She doesn't ask to feed in "public" so much now - too much going on! But if someone is here and she wants a drink, i don't stop her having one, no matter who it is. we've fed at the accountant, the doctor, while on a family photo shoot, shopping centres, food courts - i dare ANYONE to say anything to me about it. She has every right to have a feed when she wants

There are some people i won't feed in front of - it's not because i am uncomfortable, but because of their own culture and out of respect for them. We usually sit chatting around their dining room table - if E wants a feed, i will go into the lounge. the women follow and continue talking, the men will go outside. it's not that i am uncomfortable or that they believe it is bad - it's all about respect kwim?

as for anyone being here - i have a friend who considers breast milk "disgusting" - not the fact that DD feeds, just his own feeling about it. He is the only one who has said anything, and it was a comment of "you can keep that kid, it's disgusting" - i just said "she's about to feed, if you have an issue with that, there's the door.

i NEVER thought i would have this strength of conviction when it came to feeding DD. I have massive issues with my body, and the thought of people seeing me with my breast exposed freaked me out - but DD shouldn't have to suffer for my issues (or anyone elses) so whenever, wherever.

She will wean when she's ready - and that's what i say to anyone that asks. when SHE is ready. her age doesn't define whether it's right for her - it is merely a number

[Jellyfish]

Guess we should never breastfeed then because like others have said, they start 'asking' for it the moment they are born! Just because babies can't use the vocabulary we do doesn't mean they don't communicate...

[UntoldAngel]

Between "when they can ask for it, it's time to stop" and "when they have teeth you'll stop" it erks me!

P has asked for it from day one. He may not say "I want boob" but I know, and other people will know because they hand him over and say he wants boob... Umm so by them knowing that's what he wants, does it mean I should stop?? I won't stop until he is ready to.

FIL actually told me the other day I'll need to get him off the boob soon because "you can't have two feeding at the same time"... I'm pretty sure you can, what do twins do?? Just because mine won't be the same age, if P still wants boob when bub is born, then so be it, he just might have to learn to be patient

[mummajj]

i wouldnt worry about it hun. no way is a one yr old too old for booby!

my philosophy has (and always will be), "when they can remember it,its time to stop".even if we both are enjoying breastfeeding at the time. i would be traumatised if i actually remembered suckling my mothers boob. i wouldnt want my child to remember suckling my boob. imagine a poor teenage boy remembering that!! LOL.
just my opinion,no offense to anyone breastfeeding older children.

[hj1981]

I personally have an age in mind where i think Hmmm still breastfeeding! really?! BUT i also believe each to their own! i would never make a comment to someone nor would i make them feel uncomfortable about doing so!

And i agree whole heartedly with a previous comment that they ask for it from birth, so i don't think telling someone they should stop because the baby/toddle/child can "ask for it

and mummajj has a good valid point i believe in saying "when they can remember it,its time to stop", because that seriously can not be doing them any good mentally!

But hey i'm no expert, i have my own thoughts and beliefs on this subject and no one is right or wrong. It personal!

Just do what ever you think is right! you are after all the MUM!

[Feijoa Mum]

Lady P is 13 months now and has started to ask for "boo boo"
I think its cute and I love that she is communicating with me.

You are always going to get the "haters" so if your happy and she is happy then buggar everyone else, they are your boobs afterall!

[onthefly]

How silly. They ask for it from birth
You know I've only been asked once whether I was still feeding DS (in 'that' tone of voice) and unfortunately I had to say no, as he'd weaned recently.
How anyone can draw a definite line in the sand I don't understand - i mean, foryourself, maybe, but for some other child?

[MummaSue]

It's so funny isn't it? My mother told me the other day that DD was "too big to be breast fed".

Anyway, yeah, I've responded with "she's been asking for it since she was born, it's just that she can properly communicate with me now" - by pulling my shirt down no matter where we are.

I actually never really thought I'd be here, breast feeding a one year old. I thought that DD may have slowly weaned herself but she's still going as strong as ever and I'm glad.

What other people say or do is more a reflection on THEM rather than anything you're doing. Breast feeding older babies seems to evoke some uncomfortable feelings in others, but as long as you and your DD are happy and comfortable then keep up the good work! Let those people own their own feelings, don't let them project it onto you.

(I'm still trying this out - it's going well.)

[~ Mylitta ~]

You are doing a wonderful job! My son is almost 2 and he is still breastfeeding even though I have a 3 month old. I was constantly asked during my pregnancy when I was going to wean him, and was TOLD (can you believe that?!) that I would have to stop breastfeeding my son while I was pregnant by two doctors! Luckily I have an amazing supportive husband and the determination to keep going, and my beautiful son persevered even when my milk supply dropped dramatically. He now loves the milk more than even since the newborn breastmilk came in, lol.

I have two responses when people ask when I'm going to wean the babies. If the person asks with genuine curiosity (not disdain) I just honestly tell them that I will keep breastfeeding them until they are ready to wean themselves, and that I imagine that it will probably occur between 2-4 years of age. If someone asks with an attitude I don't like, I sarcastically reply with "until they move out of home, and maybe not even then...".

As for feeding in public... I once fed my son in the middle of a target store, lol! When a baby is hungry there is no saying no, hehehe. But like some of the other girls have mentioned, as they get older the amount the feed becomes less and most of the feeds will be at home. I think that's one reason that you rarely see a toddler breastfeeding in public. The babies get old enough that if they ask for milk while you are out and about you are able to let them know that they can have some when they get home. Having said that though, if my son really really wanted to feed while out, I would let him. I wouldn't let him tandem feed in public though, not because I would worry about what people think, but more because he's such a wriggle monkey at the breast these days that it would be a logistical nightmare to keep them both feeding lol!


EDIT: I wanted to also add that I'm glad that my son uses the words "mama milk" when he wants to be breastfed. Although I fully support breastfeeding anytime, and anywhere, I have to admit I might get embarrassed if he was yelling for "booby" in public, hehehe.

[mummajj]

Mylitta, does your older child sometimes feed at the same time as ur baby?? i think that would be great. i dont bf anymore but i would always look at the milk leaking (and occasionally spraying) out of the other one and think 'what a waste *sigh*' LOL

[willow5]

As for feeding in public... I once fed my son in the middle of a target store, lol! When a baby is hungry there is no saying no, hehehe.

I did that in Target last week. He was in the ergo, I swung him round from back to front it was the first time I'd sucessfully BF in the ergo (only took 15 months) I'm not particularly shy, but I am only about 5'2 which means everyone is taller than me and every now and then DS would pull off for a chat or to have a look at something leaving my boob and nipple out there saying "HEY THERE!!" to anyone walking past me. I think it's time to learn a little more BF ettiquette

[feeb]

You are doing a wonderful job! My son is almost 2 and he is still breastfeeding even though I have a 3 month old. I was constantly asked during my pregnancy when I was going to wean him, and was TOLD (can you believe that?!) that I would have to stop breastfeeding my son while I was pregnant by two doctors! Luckily I have an amazing supportive husband and the determination to keep going, and my beautiful son persevered even when my milk supply dropped dramatically. He now loves the milk more than even since the newborn breastmilk came in, lol.

I have two responses when people ask when I'm going to wean the babies. If the person asks with genuine curiosity (not disdain) I just honestly tell them that I will keep breastfeeding them until they are ready to wean themselves, and that I imagine that it will probably occur between 2-4 years of age. If someone asks with an attitude I don't like, I sarcastically reply with "until they move out of home, and maybe not even then...".

As for feeding in public... I once fed my son in the middle of a target store, lol! When a baby is hungry there is no saying no, hehehe. But like some of the other girls have mentioned, as they get older the amount the feed becomes less and most of the feeds will be at home. I think that's one reason that you rarely see a toddler breastfeeding in public. The babies get old enough that if they ask for milk while you are out and about you are able to let them know that they can have some when they get home. Having said that though, if my son really really wanted to feed while out, I would let him. I wouldn't let him tandem feed in public though, not because I would worry about what people think, but more because he's such a wriggle monkey at the breast these days that it would be a logistical nightmare to keep them both feeding lol!


EDIT: I wanted to also add that I'm glad that my son uses the words "mama milk" when he wants to be breastfed. Although I fully support breastfeeding anytime, and anywhere, I have to admit I might get embarrassed if he was yelling for "booby" in public, hehehe.

Haha yes is hard when we are near others and DS1 says my booby and trys to lift my top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love when I feed them together, which is not that often anymore as both wriggle and move so much it is hard.

[Heaven]

I find it so strange that people think like that. Like the others have said, at any age they are able to ask for a feed. I am not giving up breastfeeding my DD's until they are ready. Right now it's so convenient for me! A quick end to tears, instant sleep inducer, beautiful bonding time, and my DD1 has only had one mild illness in her whole life so far.

I was wondering what people were thinking a couple of days ago when I was in a shop and DD1 (2yrs) fell over and hurt herself. I picked her up for a cuddle and she kept saying 'Need booby Mummy, make me feel better, need booby pleeeeeaaaaase Mummy' rofl.