Thank you so much everyone for all your kind words and support. I am so emotional about this. But I'm mostly just shocked, I just still can't quite believe it's happening.
I've been trying to express every few hours, in a last ditch effort to increase my supply, I can't believe how much it has dropped. Last week I'd get 40-60ml easily, now I'm struggling to get a measly 20ml.
Anyway, as the day goes on I get a little bit more peaceful and accepting about it. I've decided what I'm going to do and if it works, great, if not, I'm not going to bust my boiler about it. I'm not going to do the bath thing because it's just not me and it won't work with DS around anyway.
Anyway, this is my plan:
- I am going to feed DD to sleep in our bed at night, peacefully, in the dark, and DH can read with DS in the lounge room to keep him (and by him, I mean both of them ) busy.
- I will kick DS and DH out of bed in the morning so DD and I can have some more peaceful feeding time together. (We don't actually cosleep with either of them, but there are lots of cuddles in our bed when ever they want them).
- I will offer the breast as often as I can, in a peaceful and quite place (if I can).
- I will cut out the bottles at daycare.
- I will express whenever I can. I will not get upset or disappointed if I don't get much. I will appreciate every ml.
- I will offer yogurt and cheese every day but cow's milk only on her brekkie and only water in her sippy cup.
- I will accept her decision to breastfeed or not (before she squawks too loudly and bites me).
Oh hun. Its so sad when theywean sint. You look like you have a great plan, and there is nothing I can add that all the lovely girls havent already said!
what a wonderful gift you have given her you should be so proud xxx
hun, I can understand why you're so emotional about this. I think you should look at this as 'breast refusal' rather than weaning, since she is still so little. I'd try the ABA helpline (if you haven't already) and look through the tips on dealing with breast refusal. It sounds like that's what you're trying anyway, and Barb's advice is always useful!
So, I spent the Friday after I wrote that post just feeling totally devastated and crying and just completely miserable thinking that it was all over. I was expressing as often as I could and was only getting 20ml MAX!!! I couldn't believe how much my supply had dropped in such a short amount of time. Then by Friday night I'd cried about and made as much peace with the situation as I could.
I had to work all day Saturday so I woke DD up at 5:30am and fed her while she was still sleepy in our bed and that seemed to go quite well. I just couldn't bring myself to express at work, it was a full on 8 hour teaching day in a really remote bushland location, with an hour travel time each way and of course absolutely no facilities. I expressed when I got home and I think I got about 40ml. I also fed DD in our bed that night. DH did give her a bottle of water (in addition to her sippy cup that she has all the time) while she was away from me because it was such a stinking hot day and she was really active and he was worried about her fluid intake.
Anyway, over the course of the week things have really have improved. It's still a bit random, like she'll just completely refuse to feed, but usually not for a whole day or more, like she was doing before. She generally feeds well in our bed in the mornings and at night and even has some other good feeds through the day. I express as often as I can, at least once a day, usually more, to maintain my supply. I usually get at least 60ml or more in total throughout the day, so the EBM freezer stocks are building up again. I couldn't bring myself to cut out her EMB bottles at daycare but I have made it full EMB (no cows milk blends) and only one bottle and with a really slow teat.
I just can't believe we're still going and going quite well. I seriously thought it was all over and if you guys hadn't been there to give me the boost I needed I'm sure it actually would have been the end. Every feed feels like stolen treat, it is so special. And Barb, I do just have to say, honestly no one in my life pressures me to do anything and certainly wouldn't dare tell me how to feed my baby. No stranger has ever told me what to do either which is such a shame because I'm spoiling for a fight
So it looks like we'll easily make my new revised 12 month goal and hopefully take it onwards and upwards from there.
Wow, how fantastic to read through this thread and see such happy news at the end . I'm really pleased for you Rachel that your lovely DD is still feeding........she's clearly doing it on her terms!!!!
Jennifer, I have to spread the love, but I think you were spot on in your post.........and Rachel I was going to say the same thing as Jen! I can read how much you want to keep breastfeeding your DD, and it sounds as though that's going to happen . You've made my day hun
I missed this when it was happening, but it is great to open a thread and see you have worked through your issue, and come to a good place!! So happy for you hun. Well done!!!
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. You've made my day hun
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