BF - Lack of Support

[Diamond Girl]

My DS is fully formula fed now. He had his last BF three weeks ago at age 7.5 mths, and I am upset that it happened so soon.

I, like so many others struggled to BF when my DH was first born. I didnt get much help at the hospital and received no follow up after leaving hospital to see if I was ok with it. I wasnt ok, I couldnt do it, I had sooo many problems with it (low supply, attachment issues, grazes, cracks, etc). I wanted to give up, but I really wanted to BF, so I (through my own iniative) booked a lactation consultant and all was well (actually fantastic) after this.

Then my DS was 5 mths old, and suddenly people started asking me when I would give up BF. I wasnt ready then but I thought introducing a supplementary formula bottle wouldnt hurt. I was told by everyone that FF is easier, and a better alternative to BF. My mum encouraged me to continue (but she was the only one). I found it hard to keep BF especially as my DS got teeth, and I was tired of BF only in private. I didnt know anyone who had BF for this long.

So I tried one bottle, and I thought, this is easy. I could do it in public (as I wasnt comfortable BF in public). I felt so relieved at feed time when I was out because DS could have a bottle, and I would be just like everyone else.

Then, because it was easy, I substituted one more feed, and then before I knew it DH dropped feeds. Before I knew it my milk supply was heavily reduced, and then, about three weeks ago, my DS decided he didnt want any more BF, despite my best efforts to try and encourage him. Now it is all over and I am so upset.

I know it is my fault that DS is weaned, but I feel that if BF was seen as the norm and not the exception as (it is in my family and group friends), then Im sure I would have continued, and I never would have introduced the bottle. FF is much too widely encouraged, and although it is genuinely necessary for some women, I just wish I wasnt sucked into thinking that it is just as good as BM, when it is not.

Women today need more support, and the community needs to be more receptive to bf mothers. We need to do as much as we can to encourage BF. I know I will.

[Danni]

Women today need more support, and the community needs to be more receptive to bf mothers. We need to do as much as we can to encourage BF. I know I will

Very well said darling!

Mason is 4 months now and I never want to stop feeding! People ask me all the time too and I just dont answer because I don't know.

I'm sorry you didn't have the support you needed and hopefully if you have more children, you will get that much needed support.

Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing that does require a lot more support than we have. Good on you for getting it all out and good on you for feeding as long as you did

[Lucy]

Oh sweetheart, I hear you, I really do.

But please do not feel any guilt. It is NOT your fault. 7.5 months is a HUGE achievement. It may not have been for as long as you would have liked, but it is still brilliant.

You never know, he may have weaned by himself at around the 9 month mark anyway.

My 3 babies self weaned (Olivia at 6.5 months, Charlie at 5.5 months and Lexie at 7.5 months). I am not sure why. Introdution of solids, introduction of a bottle too many of EBM, teeth, hormonal changes in me (through sunsequent pregnancy). Who knows.

I went through emotional heartache when they weaned, and questioned myself constantly for weeks as to whether it had been "my fault" or not. So I truely know how you must be feeling.


But be kind to yourself, and enjoy your little man, regardless.

Take care,

[~Saram~]

Diamond-girl - firstly you need to give yourself a break! You feed your son for seven months and overcame a lot of difficulties that others can't - you should be so proud of yourself! Yes BF is great but don't beat yourself up if it's not working for your family situation. Having said, if you really want to continue, have you tried ringing the ABA's helpline about re-lactation? It is hard when everyone is pushing you not to BF esp when there are difficulties but you should rest assured your son is fit and healthy because of you now and in the future.

[christyb]

I think you have done an absolutley amazing job continuing to breastfeed for such a long time with no support. The fact that you carried on despite the pain and took the initiative to get help from a lc shows real strength of character!! Well done for giving your little man such a great start in life

[widdly]

i really do feel for you. I put DS on formula at 5weeks due to him having servere reflux and my extreme lack of support, mixed with my quite defeatest attitude whent hings get tough. i still remember his last bf and it took many many months to not get teary about it. I believe it was too easy for me to go to the chemist and buy a tin of formula for him, also all fo my family are ffers so it seems like the norm to me. i wish i had had more knowledge and support. Next bub i really hope to stick it out through the hard times and bf for as long as bub wants.

i think you did an absolutely amazing job to get through you difficulties with little support and bf for 7.5 months, well done, your bub has a hugely grat start to life!

[Barb Glare]

Dear Diamond Girl,

Your story is so, so common. (and so sad) What a wonderful job you did to overcome those initial problems. It is so easy to be influenced by friends and family, and end up doing something you just don't really want to do, and regret it later. You have expressed clearly the dangers of *just one bottle*. It is really important that women surround themselves with positive and encouraging people when they are breastfeeding. That is why a membership of the Australian Breastfeeding Association is so important and so worthwhile. You will have encouragement, support and the knowledge that what you are doing is normal. You will have the experiences of other mothers to draw on - others who have been through the same stage as you are going through.
You did a fabulous job with your little one, be proud of that. And I'm sure you will have another breastfeeding experience int he future

Warm Regards
Barb

[MantaRay]

Women today need more support, and the community needs to be more receptive to bf mothers

Well said and so true. And from me too, congratulations. Making it past 6 months, especially after initial difficulties is a huge effort.

I totally agree with your post and for my part I bf in public all the time and proudly tell people that I will feed for as long as DS wants to and that the WHO recommendation is at least 2 yrs. This is my bit for trying to promote bfing as the norm. I reckon if just one woman is influenced and bfs for longer than I have made a small difference. And if we all make a small difference, it becomes a huge difference.

The other thing which really amazes me is why people think ffing is easier. TBH I have never used formula so I don't know what is involved exactly, but surely being able to go out without taking bottles and powder and having to warm stuff up, to just be able to feed your baby by lifting your top, surely nothing could be easier than that?

[Diamond Girl]

Thanks for your lovely messages of support. These are the most encouraging, reassuring comments I have ever received!

I know that when I eventually have another child, I will not be influenced by those around me, because any support I need, I will get from here.

Thanks again.