I always knew had to wean now... but ...

[rufalina]

Now I am here, I cant bring myself to do it. I am so pleased I have been able to booby feed my DS for 5 months, and we have battled through the reflux, and seem to be cruising along so well now. I don't want it to end......

For as long as I was pregnant, and even in all the time I was TTC, I knew that once I finally had my baby I would only be able to breastfeed for 6 months, if I was lucky enough to be able to do so at all. And in my mind, I was able to say, sure, no worries, it is for my health, and I am cool with that. But now, after holding my DS to my breast and feeding him, I am finding it hard to rationalise it.

I met with my neurologist yesterday, and he really needs me to wean so I can start on my meds. I dont need to stop feeding cold turkey, I can take a bit of time, but I still cant do it. I do give my DS a bottle of FF at 7pm, as he is sooooooooo hungry in the evenings, that I could never make my supply catch up, but I am ok with that as I BB feed him at 5pm and then again at 10pm, so the 7pm bottle is just a tummy filler, and he has only had that for a couple of weeks. So last night, I made up FF bottle before I went to bed to give him at the during the night feed but when he woke last night, I just (deliberately ) forgot about the bottle and put him straight to the boob. OOPS...

So how do I bring myself to wean him. He is such a booby monster, and we feed to sleep, and feed for comfort. He feed maybe 8 times a day... We are not very structured, just demand feeding... And feeding to sleep. (but that breaking that habit is for another thread...)

He is OK with the FF bottle, at 7pm, but he I left him with my sister during my DRs appt and when he woke from his nap, he wouldn't take a ff bottle from her, and waited till I got there, and took it from me, which just reinforced my desire to feed him. However, when I had a migraine a couple of weeks ago and he spent the day with his granny, he happily took a couple of bottles from her...

So the long and short... any suggestions / tips or help is greatly appreciated!!!!! TIA!

[Liz]

Oh *hugs*. What a hard thing to do, and how fast does the time go with our little bubbas! I guess it would be a matter of replacing one feed at a time.. but that's just the physical, not the emotional. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions.. only another hug!

I don't know your situation/condition, but have you double checked the safety of your meds and breastfeeding? I know Barb recommends someone to ring re meds and breastfeeding, might be worth a shot.

I'm a little confused why you can be off the meds for 6 months, and not longer? especially if everything is going well. (but like I said, I don't know your situation hehe.. so feel free to leave me in the dark.. I don't want to pry )

*hugs* again.

[rufalina]

Liz, I guess I should explain re the meds.... I have ms (multiple sclerosis), and I have never taken any meds regularly for it. My neuro wanted me to start medicating over a year ago, but I decided to have a baby, and put off the starting of treatment till then, as my MS has been pretty inactive, but in order to prevent it stating up, my neurologist wants me to start treatment as soon as possible, (interferon injections) so I can prevent the progression of it... And the meds are not sufficiently tested for safety on babies, so I dont want to take any risks there.

I think maybe just getting this out to you gals who understand will help me work through the emotional side of things, and focus on the physical.

Thanks for the understanding Liz!!!

[Kmn]

Just because you have to doesn't mean that it's easy. Here's a bit of a brainstorm..In some ways you are probably weaning you as much as him, in the sense that he may well adapt more easily than his Mum does.

I think that if I had to wean my booby-monster I would start by giving small ff bottles before every feed, so that the comfort-sucking could still be there for a while, but the really-hungry-sucking wouldn't be. My best guess from when I have to EBM feed DS is that he has 100 ml or so, 7-10 times a day - so I would start with 50ml ff's and slowly increase the amount in them (kind of like backwards "comp" feeding). I might try and replace feeds as well, but since he demand feeds in a really irregular way that might be trickier.

Part of what would make it really difficult for me is that DS will give himself a bottle (albeit slowly and messily), or let me help him a bit - but he won't take a bottle if he is held in a snuggly way, only if he is lying on the floor. So I would "lose" a couple of hours of cuddles if I stopped BFing, and I'm not sure how either of us would take to that.

Another option would be to go on the normal pill, so that your milk supply slowly decreased - and at the same time offer lots of bottles.

[MantaRay]

Ruf hun, to you. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I hope you are able to find peace with this.

Just a thought too, have you spoken to the Monash Drug Information line? Dr Rodney Whyte there has the very latest info on drug safety during bfing. Quite often medications are listed as "not safe for bfing" in the MIMS database (which is the only information most doctors have), but are actually ok, and this wonderful service has that more recent info. It still might be that you will have to stop bfing, but it might be worth ringing just to be totally sure. The number is 03 9594 2361.

I wish you all the very best hun. You are in my thoughts.

[Liz]

Monash Drug Information line? Dr Rodney Whyte there has the very latest info on drug safety during bfing. .. The number is 03 9594 2361.

That's the one I knew someone would know it, so I didn't go hunting for it

I'm so sorry to hear about the MS. How wonderful though that you have been able to put it off in order to have a baby and to breastfeed as long as you have! Seriously, keep that in mind while you work out your next steps. You've already achieved so much!

Definitely give the information line a call.. it certainly can't hurt.

[Ozziehoffy]

Big hun. I don't think it's an easy thing to do at all!!! It's a beautiful and special moment that we share with our bubs. I have just weaned and although older than your little man, it was hard to do and I still miss it. I don't have any suggestions to help sorry Is it possible to put off the meds a little longer?? I understand why you're going to have them (have a friend with ms) but is it possible so you can keep feeding a little longer??

[onthefly]

Oh! That's so sad!
It would be great if you could find out you can continue bfing afterall... But if not, maybe try to find other special ways to be close to DS as you replace bf with ff - it's not just about feeding, as you well know.
Good luck to you

[rufalina]

Thanks everyone. I have successfully dropped one of regular timed feeds, using the "reverse" comp feed method (thanks Kmn) over the last couple of days. I did a small bottle of FF and gradually made it bigger then today, no boob required at that feed. Still got slight full bbs but nothing a tiny hand express didn't fix.

With choosing the next feed to drop, do I do one at the other end of the day, so the one we dropped was the around 5pm feed, so maybe I drop the mid morning one so there is still a BB feed at 2ish, to keep my BBs ok?

Anyway, I think I just need to take it slowly and recognise that it is my weaning as much as DS's and take the time to get myself used to it too, and we will be fine. We have done so well to date, and I do know that and am thankful that we were/are able to have this. And that we will be ok moving on from here, and a healthy mum is the most important thing here.

(Cass, there is one way I can stay off the meds longer, that is to have another baby, but in order to do that I need to get my AF back, so would have to drop some feeds anyway ...)

[KimmyF]

reading your post brought a tear to my eye. i really feel for you having to make this decision, i just wanted to sy i think its great u were able to feed as long as u did and u made the choice to BF as long as u did, i'm sure others in your situation would have gone straight to bottle. i dont have any advice for you but just wanted to say i think you are a great Mum

[MantaRay]

Ruf, I am so glad that it is going well so far. Your attitude is so positive hun, I know that no matter what happens you will make the best of it.

WRT to dropping feeds, I would do whatever suits you best. There is no right or wrong order. Keep up the good work hun.

[paradise lost]

It's so hard when what our heart tells us is best is not what our head KNOWS is best. I really ached reading your post. I weaned for a medical reason (easier physically because my milk just vanished so i had little choice...) and it was so painful when we'd finally stopped (7 months).

I found making time for skin to skin makes a big difference for us, even if there can't be boobie milk at the same time. I weaned her off breastmilk in November 2006 and we STILL now have baths and showers together and occasionally co-sleep skin to skin (because i sleep naked and she strips off at every opportunity. It really helps me stay connected with her.

Bx

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

In the Australian Breastfeeding Association, we have a very special counsellor - a treasure. Her name is Yvette and she has MS herself and is extremely knowledgeable about MS and breastfeeding. If you'd like to be put in touch - she is happy to take calls, I can PM you with her number
Regards
Barb

[rufalina]

Wow. If you could send me that number Barb i would really appreciate it. It would be good to talk with someone "in the know". Thanks!!!

Hoobley - good call on the skin to skin. I do love carrying DS in the ergo too, so that gets me lots of close time too.

[rufalina]

Jut thought I would do an update... I have successfully dropped a couple of feeds, using the "reverse comp feed" method. I did have DS refusing the bottle for a bit, but after replacing the newborn teat with a faster flowing one, we are back on track. I am pleased I have the luxury of doing this slowly, and it is making it easier to deal with. But, I must say, all the bottle preparation, cleaning, boiling water etc is a bit of a PITA! ... BBs are just so easy ... Thank you all again for your help.

[MantaRay]

That's great that it's going so well for you. I hope all the washing doesn't drive you too crazy!

Did you get that number from Barb? If not, it would be ok to PM her to remind her.

[alioops]

Rufi! I know it sucks to wean for medical reasons. I hope that you dont feel guilty hun, Having MS was not your choice so banish all those guilty thoughts right now hun!! I am glad the process is going smoothly, and I hope you are getting in plenty of snuggle times!

[Kmn]

I'm very glad it's going along OK.