This might be a long post but i just need to vent and get some emotions out. Where do i start? Well i am Australian/Aboriginal woman (21) from Sydney and was born Catholic, I have since married a muslim man and had a Daughter. I have reverted and truly believe in Islam (Alhumdulah). I am just having trouble learning and practicing Islam. My family knows that i follow my Husband beliefs but i dont think they totally understand i am Muslim and have reverted. They are kindof oblivious and dont want to see the truth. I really want to tell them and be up front with them but they seem to believe the news and the stereotypes and i dont want to be rejected by my own family, but i really want to follow my beliefs. So what should i do? Any tips or Advice? Also they enjoy the ocasional beer or wine but dont drink everyday or get drunk, My Husband hates them even having one beer at a bbq if our daughter is there. But i have been around it all my life and its never been a problem or affected me in any way. My family are what you call responsible social drinkers. I asume that cause im not drinking it or being a part of it thats its fine, but husband seems to think differently. And i dont want to tell family that at all family gatherings that they cant do the things they enjoy just cause im there. I dont condone it but i also dont want to stop anyone from doing the stuff they enjoy as long as it doesnt affect me. I feel they can do it but just dont involve me or my Daughter in anyway and respect the bounderies. Or is that wrong of me to think that way? What is a Muslim opinion on this?
My other problem is that i dont know where to find information to learn, i read books on Islam but i am always asking Why at the end of it, and i dont get the right answers. I have read an English version of the Koran but do not fully understand because i only have a basic knowledge. I have also rang a mosque for courses or seminars/Lectures but i am very shy as to most people attending are of Middle Eastern Backround and i feel like i kinda dont fit in. Im just a bit lost and dont know where to look. Does anyone know of any seminars or lectures for women (Beginers)? Any muslim counsellors or Sheiks that are great to talk to? Any great websites or books anyone can recommend. I just need something to help me with prayers and basic knowledge to start off with and just general questions to help me dealing with whats right and wrong..
I also have another thing i hope someone can help me with, I am Aboriginal/Australian and my ancestors and culture believe in spirits and dreamtime, Does the Koran acknowledge this and am i still able to practise traditional Aboriginal culture or is there no way the two can be practised equally.
Im sorry for the long rant is just so hard cause i feel like i am stuck in two worlds and that to each part of my life i am not being true. I dont really have any Muslim women or Muslim friends in my life that understand me, and that i can relate to or share experiences and questions and what im going through. Its so hard talking to my family cause they dont understand me and cannot put themselves in my shoes. On the other hand my husband family are Lebanese Muslim and can help me if i need more information but they kinda think theyre way is the only way and that they are right. I feel hurt because they dont acknowledge my Aboriginal culture and just assume im one of them. They were born into Islam and have only known this there whole lives and they sortof dont see anything on the other side. I respect them and no doubt them being great muslims, i just dont think they see my side of things. I am still learning and im trying to be the best i can be but i just am lost and dont know where to look for help or resourses. I hope someone could help me, give me an outsiders view, some info or just to have a chat.
Will be greatly appreciated.
Thankyou
Kayla
:-)
:hugs: Kayla. I'm sure you will find some support and answers here.... there are some wonderful Muslim women who are so patient with providing basic knowledge about their faith. Even though i am Christian I feel able to ask questions freely in here. You should never feel intimidated to ask a humble question darl. I'm sure if your DH's family were willing to listen they could learn more from you that what they might expect. All the best on your spiritual journey Kayla. I'm sure you should be able to blend your two beliefs/faiths in a way that you feel comfortable with. Just my thoughts
Just want to send a big hug and wish you well in trying to find some answers. I wouldn't try to change your family they are who they are and they are a important part of you. I would be good to keep open with them so that they will better understand the choices that you make. In my opinion when two cultures join together there has to be give and take.
In my own opinion - your family have the right to still enjoy their alcohol - so long as they dont offer you or your bub any (knowing you dont drink). As long as your family know that you are not to have alcohol or bacon/pork/ham in/with any of your meals then they're not cross this boundary.
Your Daughter is growing up in Australia, with your own family, therefore she will come face to face with Alcohol. Its better that you and your husband tell her slowly as shes growing up that we do not have alcohol, then there isnt anything to worry about.
Im a Muslim, we socialise with other Muslim families or even my own family - at BBQ's, dinner, outing, Newyears they have their alcohols. THeyve offered us alcohol in the beginning once or twice and we told them no, we dont comsuming it. NOw they are fine with it. THey have their alcohol while we have soft drink or water. We still have the same amount of fun.
We allowed our daughter to sniff bear and have offered her a sip when she insisted on having what her aunt had - so we filled her aunts colourful bottle with beer and offered that.
She hated the smell and didnt even try it.
This way we have satisfied her curiosity that when we say its not nice, she now believes us.
It will take time for your own family to accept it. I have a friend whos also converted to Islam, her mother stopped talking to for about 6 or 8 months, as she couldnt accept her daughter converting/reverting and wearing the Hijab.
She has been "educating" her family for the past 5 years, and finally they have accepted the ways, and what she is.
Dont give up, just be patient, you family will be more supportive with your choice and ways
Im in Granville, - If you need help with anything or want to find something out - message me.
I also have a few English websites if your interested that i refer to often.
Aww thanks ladies, Its great to know someone out there understands and cares. Thanks for all the Hugs and kind words. Im slowly working up the courage to tell family but want to wait for the right time (dad will except it ok but the rest of the family it might take a little longer). I know my family respect us about the Alcohol and will never force it on us, its just that hubby hates dd being around it and thats affecting our relationship. I dont want family to stop what they do at every family function cause of us or me and my dd not even go if there is alcohol, but then i dont wont to upset my hubby. Im kinda stuck in the middle. LOL
Im also looking around for info and trying to find classes in my area. So if anyone knows of any please let me know. It would be greatly appreciated. Im In Marrickville Sydney By the way. My local butcher gave me a prayer chart with the pictures showing positions but its hard to try and pray and then keep looking at the chart. Especially when im not really good at Arabic. And its dificult to know what to say. Any tips? Or great resources to help with prayers? Its just so hard being in two different worlds.
But Inshallah everything works out..
Thanks again.
Kayla
:-)
Im Stuck
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