thread: *Please read* My story

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2004

    *Please read* My story


    I've heard a lot of stories about teen pregnancies and the bad experiences and issues that went along with them. But i've never once read of the good stories, or the better side to the bad ones. So i thought you should all read my story, so you know that not all parents take things badly and that there is some hope in this world for pregnant teens.

    I'm 18 years old and i'm 28 weeks pregnant. I found out i was pregnant in May this year, i was 11 weeks and 17 yeard old.

    I really couldn't and still can't see how i got pregnant as i was on the pill and i have PCOS, an infertility problem. But it somehow happened. I told my mum, she took it way better than i expected. She was a little shocked but she supported me with everything and still does and still will.

    I then told my boyfriend. It took him a little while to get used to the idea. He just went very quiet and didnt say much for a few weeks. He was mainly concerned about money issues because back then, he didn't have a job.

    At my local hospital i go to a parenting class for pregnant teens. It has really helped me and i know im not alone.

    I told my dad (who doesn't live with us) i was pregnant when i was about 14-15 weeks. I knew he would take it worse than anyone else. He was shocked and bascially in denial. He hardly spoke to me and never mentioned the baby or even acknowleged that i was pregnant. While visiting him i told his girlfriend how i felt and she had a word with him. He now occationally talks to me over the phone and kinda acknowleges that im pregnant, but has never once said "how's the baby". It kinda upsets me, but i dont let it get in my way as ive never really had a good relationship with him and i know that if he were to diown me, it wouldn't really affect me.

    Both my family and my boyfriend's family and my friends are getting really excited about this baby now. It's really good.

    To this day i don't know why it happned, but it must have happened for a very good reason. I would call it fate. I mean, to get pregnant while on the pill, have PCOS, and not have miscarriage from all the things i did while i didnt know i was pregnant (eg. Eat all the stuff they tell you not to, get drunk and go to Wonderland and go on ALL the rides) then i must really be destend to have this baby.

    But there are still days when i think, "how am i going to cope?" "Am i going to be a good mother?" I spose only time will anwser those questions. But with all the support i have of loving family and friends i think that i could get through anything...

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Nov 2003

    Tegan, thank you so much for sharing your story. It is wonderful that you have stayed so positive through it all. You sound like you have so much strength and courage and I'm sure it will get you through anything. Wishing you all the very best for the remainder of your pg and beyond.

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    May 2004

    That is a lovely story Tegan.
    Like you said these things happen for a good reason and at least you did 11 weeks without knowing.

    I did the same with Kimebrley i found out at 13 weeks and did all the things i should not have done and she is great.

    I wish you all the best with your little one and you are going to make a great mother.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Member

    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...

    Wow Tegan!! Thanks so much for sharing your story! O

    I agree that there is usually too much negativity directed at young parents, but I am so happy that you personally have been supported in making your decision to have this baby.
    I think you are a very mature person, and I'm sure you will be a wonderful devoted mother.

    I too believed it was fate, when I fell PG unexpectedly, and so it was just amazing for me to read how you feel about it all... - to see someone else facing the same outcome, who is taking it all in her stride with such courage and positivity!! Good on you!!!

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2004

    Hi Tegan

    I believe that things happen for a reason and it sounds like this pg was truly meant to be. Having a baby can be hard work but it is so rewarding and I don't believe that age has anything to do with how good a parent you can be. You sound like you are really ready to be a mum and I am sure you will be great at it.


  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2004

    Thanks for all your feedback girls. I really appreciate it!

  7. #7
    layla Guest

    Sorry Tegan, only just found your story!
    I was 19 when I had my first baby, 18 when I fell pregnant.
    In my case the pregnancy was planned and DH and I were married and out on our own, but as long as the baby is wanted and loved it makes absolutely no difference how old you are.
    There is a lot of negativity about young parents but not so many years ago 30 was considered too old to be having a baby!
    I have a few "older" friends who had their first babies in their late 30's and they have really struggled.
    I think that having kids while you are young is a great way to go if you are ready for the responsibiliy. I for one wouldn't change a thing.
    It sounds like you and your partner have a good relationship and you have your Mum too!
    You will be a fantastic mother!

  8. #8
    Ex adm!n, quietly rusting....

    Feb 2004

    Sorry Tegan, I hadn't noticed your story before either #-o

    Thank you for sharing your story. Like you said, you always hear the bad things, but never the good things about being a young mum.

    I say good on you for going to the classes & interacting with other women who are in your same situation, it must make everything a lot easier on you. Also well done for not taking to heart your dad's attitude =D>

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    May 2004

    Hi Tegan,
    I think it's fantastic that you have the support of your friends and family, including your partner. I know that when I fell pg at 14 there was no way I could've done it without the support of a small circle of friend and my family.
    I agree totally that good thing come from teen pregnancies for one...
    Alecia is almost 12, and without her, who knows where I could've ended up. I took the responsablitiy of a mother seriously and made a huge sacrifice... my teen years. But without her I would have been and still would be lost!

    Good onyu Tegan!


  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW

    Tegan I'm sorry I fall into the never seen this before category too!!!

    I just wanted to say that you are doing a fantastic job! There is obviously a reason for you being PG and good on you for being such a good mum already =D> . You have done more already than many other "older" women do, you have sought support & help from different areas, and that is fantastic =D> Well done!!

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2004

    Tegan, I have 'known' you for a little while now and I have occasionally thought what a fantastic 'young lady' you seem to be. Have never got the courage up to mention it, as a) I didnt want to embaress you in one of the other forums, and b) I didnt want to put my foot in my mouth, but your message that I have just discovered has given me the opportuniy.

    I will probably admit to being very narrow minded when it comes to teen pregnancies. From your story and the way you write messages on belly belly, you have made me realise there are exceptions to every rule! You are very mature and responsible and I think that is 2 extremely important qualities to have!

    I think you are doing an absolutely wonderful job of being a Mum, and this just goes to show what an awesome Mum you will be when baby is in your arms.


  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2004

    Tegan, you rule.

    I'm a bit of a lurker on the BB forums - I'm not pg, not ttc, and can't "afford to" for at least another year - I'm just filling my head with everyone's great knowledge and experience..... So I rarely post (a bit scared?) and often read.

    I've followed a most of your posting in the forums, and kept checking back on your website, and I almost feel like I know you, even though I've never sent you a message or anything

    So now that you've got your own little thread going I thought I'd take the chance to tell you how much I admire your strength and your attitude, and wish you the best for the rest of your pg, and for when your bubs arrives, and the rest of your life.

    You're a great role model to all of us, young and old.



  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    Apr 2004
    Sunbury, Vic

    Hey Tegan,
    Life works in mysterious ways and with being on the pill, having PCOS etc, this PG was obviously meant to happen!!

    You know those questions you ask yourself? Don't worry - you'd be asking them no matter what age you were!!
    I am 34 and having my first baby, and was thinking for the first time the other day "Oh my God......... what the hell do I know about babies?" Next thought was "well too late now" and I just laughed.

    It doesn't matter what age you are, someone is going to have an opinion on it.
    In your case "oh you're too young, you have your whole life ahead of you ra ra ra"
    In my case "oh how are you going to manage at your age, you'll be too tired, you'll be 50 when.... ra ra ra"
    I take no notice of them whatsover
    I know damn well, that NOW is the time I am ready to have a baby. Not at 18, not at 25, and still not at 28. I am far more patient now than at 18 or in my 20's, and definitely far more ready for this change in my life.

    So, although I am at the other end of the spectrum I can understand totally where you are coming from. I admire you for taking it in your stride and doing the best you can for you and your baby.
    You are obviously very mature and doing a lot of positive stuff - I've noticed with your posts over time that you are becoming a bit of an "expert" on this whole pregnancy caper - you've done a hell of a lot more reading than I've done, that's for sure

    If we were all meant to have a baby in our mid 20's we'd start having periods at 24 and go thru menopause at 27!!
    Enjoy and all the best

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Nov 2003
    Kilmore Vic

    HI Tegan,

    You're story sounds like mine. I was 19 and at uni studying Primary teaching when I got preg. Didn't mean it, stopped taking the pill after a huge argument, got back together and waited to go back on the pill, and was pregnant straight away. Like you I believe it happened cause it was meant to.

    My parents were also great, I expected them to scream and yell, instead they told me they would support me no matter what. I stayed at uni, had the baby in the Sept, had 2 weeks off and went back for a month and then exams, mum looked after Jordan while I did this as I lived at home. After exams I was home until March then went back to uni for 3rd yr. Arron was an apprentice so we couldn't afford to live together, but instead we holed our money and saved a house deposit. In my 4th yr Mum looked after Jordan while I worked during the day and went to Uni 3 nights a week. Arron and I rented for 8 months in 1997 to see if we could live together, and brought our own house at 23 yrs old, by that time we were both qualified in our field of work, I got a full time job when we moved out to rent.

    Since then we have had 3 more children (4 intotal) and we both just turned 30. Arron has his own business and we are set up, with a 6 bedroom house we have renovated and I am a SAHM at last. My friends can't believe where we have got to,but I just think we did what anyone would do, we pulled our fingers out to give our child/ren a good life. I never knock young parents because I've been there and done it.

    I had my 2nd at 25, my third at 28 and my 4th at 29. I wouldn't change a thing! Except I wish I'd won tattslotto! LOL That would have helped.

    You will look back on your life and I'm sure you will feel the same. I remember saying to my mum, "I've stuffed my life!" and she said "NO, you've just made it harder". Don't listen to anyone who tells you you are too young, it's not age but maturity that matters, and it seems to me you are mature enough to raise a child with love and commitment to giving it everything it needs.

    Good luck, not that you'll need it.

    Best wishes Michelle

    Without my Mum I couldn't have finished my schooling as quickly as I did.

  15. #15
    Pietta Guest

    Sorry Tegan just found your post! I agree with everyone else. I think anyone who starts looking after their body and baby as soon as they find out is already on track to being a fantastic Mum. I agree with everyone else- you seem really mature and I am sure you are going to be a brilliant Mum. I have only justgot over the- Am i going to be a good Mum questions. Have faith in yourself- I am sure you'll be awesome sweetie!!

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2004

    Hey Tegan,

    Sorry I hadn't seen this post before. Alot of people I knew at school had babies in their teens - I came from a low socio-economic area, and it really wasn't too unusual. So I reckon I have a pretty good attitude towards young parents, specially ones who are being as fantastic about it as you are.
    I think people like Tanya are great role models for teenage pg mothers cause they prove that having a baby young certainly does not ruin your life, and can be one of the best things to happen.
    I hope you get all the support you need over the next couple of months - specially with bubs due to pop along ANY MINUTE!!!!! You will have a ball and I am very jealous - i think its great to be a teenage mum for the relationship you will have with Lily when she is a teenager. My mum was going through menopause when we were teens and it was rough....... for all of us.
    Enjoy the experience!! If we were supposed to have babies as old women our fertility wouldn't start to drop off from age 27!! I'm happy I'm having a baby now, cause I am where I want to be in life, but I'm still super stressed about it, feel like I'm going to be a terrible Mum, worried about money, and whether everything is going to be OK.
    Best wishes, and congrats. Hopefully Lily will arrive today!!