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Thread: Had my son at 21 and never had much support

  1. #1

    Default Had my son at 21 and never had much support

    Hi everyone I'm 25 now I don't know if you would class that as young but I think it is still young for a mum considering most people are in their late 20's or 30's starting families these days. I have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 8 months. I fell pregnant with Wyatt at 20, my families first reaction was to get rid of it but I had been with my partner since we were 16 and we felt it was right for us to keep him. My family has never really offerd support and went along the lines of you got yourself pregnant you deal with it. Even when my son was born premie and was put into a NICU 5 hours from our home not one of them came to support him or us they thought that a phone call was enough. I have no friends with kids and the mums that I have meet though playgroups etc are all in their 30's and look down at me when I tell them my age. I am starting to find some mums around my age with new bubbas but most of them are only interested in knowing me & my 8 month old not my four year old.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    1,547

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    I am sorry you didn't get any support when you had your DS. As has been said in here many times, age has nothing to do with someone's capacity to care for and provide the best for their kids. I am 26 and have three kids, and I have gotten a few raised eyebrows, even from my family and friends. But BellyBelly is a great place for support, information, advice, conversation...whatever!

    Don't worry what other people think, there are many advantages to being a young mum -like having more energy to look after your kids, and the fact that you will be fairly young still when your kids are at school and then teenagers, and of course the fact that when they are older you will still be able to do things that you want - like study or travel.

  3. #3
    rallybbek Guest

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    Hi, I am in much the same boat as you. I only way i got through was to only do what i had to to cope. It can be a long haul but worth it later on. You have got a lot of support on this site, so keep in contact.
    Have a great day.
    Bec

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Where the heart is
    Posts
    4,360

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    Hi Spunkmonkies (what a cool name!),
    I am so sorry that this has been your experience
    Well, I reckon you're a bit ace to have done it, IMO! If I had been with my partner when I was that age, I would have had a baby that young, too. In fact, DP's brother became a daddy when his partner was 17. Still together, have 3 kids, contemplating a 4th and... getting married next month after 12 years
    Anyway, you seem amazingly strong. There should be support networks in place in your area - a local ABA group (you should not feel any judgement at one of these) would be great. I'm not 'young' (although people assume I am, so I get the 'geez, you're doing so well for a young mum'...I'd hope I would do well at whatever age!), so I'm not in the same boat as you, but I am really hurt on your behalf that your family has turned its back and that other women think it's their place to judge you
    Where are you? There should be some Belly Belly ladies near you that you could meet with IRL.

  5. #5
    mumaof2boys Guest

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    i hear you!!! im 24 and have a 4 yr old and 11 mth old! Its so hard to meet people! If your interested my msn is [email protected]

  6. #6
    REEZY Guest

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    Hi I Just Turned 25 I Had My First At 19 My 2nd At 21 And Third At 24. I Wanted To Have My Children Young. I Didn't Listen To Anyone When They Would Make Comments Like Not A Third Or Your Crazy. I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way. It Is Usually People Who Havn't Got Kids That Make The Comments And Look Down There Nose.

    When I Had My First I Lost A Far Few Friends They Didn't Understand Having A Bub Was Hard And Time Consuming. Now I Spend A Bit Of My Time With My Aunty She's 38 And Has 3 Kids The Same Ages As Mine. She Always Says She Wishes She Had Her Children When She Was A Bit Younger.

    FINDING BELLYBELLY WAS GREAT

  7. #7

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    in happy land
    Posts
    447

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    i know what u talking about im 31 now i had my first girl at 19 and lost alot of freinds over it.

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