HEY

you dont know the half of it but I wont go into mil as it just makes me sooooooo cranky but there is one good thing she did and that was have DH not that she treats him much better,but atleast he knows that he has a ***** mother.

Tali, well in a way its good he doesn't like her either. Then he's not going to be on her side a lot, as what happens in many marriages. Man... to be married.... I wonder if I ever will..... Or will I be happy?..... Ok I think I'm just tired and bored.

My MIL can be a little too free with her advise too. I don't ask her for advise very often LOL, i usually ask my two SILs, they both have young families too 3-4 kids all under 6 years old so they both understand that each child is different and not everything works for each child. They give suggestions of things to try instead of saying 'do this do that' which is awsome.
I can't believe some of the comments being made! as if 24 is too young, 200 years ago girls were married and pregnant at like 16, Juliet (as in Romeo and Juliet) was 14, and what an awful thing to say that if a girl gets herself pregnant you don't have to marry them anymore that its their own problem! Sure you don't have to get married but it most certainly is the father's problem... its his child... anyway, sorry pg hormones.. that just sounds like such a hurtful thing to say :(
Anywho...
As i was saying, each child is different, my two couldn't be more different. DS1 has dark hair, dark eyes and one hell of an attitude. DS2 has blue eyes, light hair and is the sweetest little thing, so not the same thing works for each of them. If we need for DS2 to stop some particular behavior we just tell him no and pick him up to distract him and that's fine, DS1 needs to be told and then threatened with time out to which he freaks out and has a tantrum so he gets time out he also needs a smack every now and then when he's being really naughty like if he tries to hurt his little brother.
Don't let family stick their noses in if its not really wanted because they don't know any better as each child is different, you know your child better then they do.

Cate, I'm glad she's ok. Brendan is really good. It's 7:30 am and he has just woken up, been asleep since about 9 last night :D And one day you will be happy, you will meet a man that is right for you, it may not happen tomorrow it may not happen next year, but you just gotta hang in there! Enjoy life you are still young and have many years ahead of you!

Tali and Jade, Don't get me started on MIL's..... When Brendan was still in hospital (about 1.5 weeks old) he got 2 infections at once, stomach and blood, we almost lost him, they had to resucitate him and he was put back on life support. When I told my MIL (now x) her reply was "oh well". I recently M/C at 17 weeks and when she found out about that it was they same, "oh well, these things happen". Sure these things happen, but hang on a minute, wouldn't the right thing to say be, "Are you ok?" or "how are you feeling?" I'm glad I don't have to associate with her anymore. Her DS, my XF, dumped me 2 weeks ago, because he wanted to ride motorbikes and go out hunting instead of having his son and unborn child around. Anyway starting to dribble. I know I will never be good enough for her son anyway! lol as if, he's not good enough for me.... hahahaha. :D

I'm going now... I talk too much.

jade- I agree all children are different DS has always been really quite and pretty well behaved but DD1 is ouuuuuuuuuut there she knows what she was put on the planet for and cant wait to start doing it as my mum has always said she is a old soul how has been her before. She is a challange but wonderful all the same. DD2 I thought was going to be quite like DS but now that she is over 1 she is getting her personallity and its a good one she is now more like her sister and can be very firesty(sp?) as she is strating to pinch and screem to get her own way. All I keep thing is that my girls are going to be so much fun when they are teens I think I will have to give them to mum and dad lol.

sally - I think your XMIL and mine would get on wonderfully I really hope I dont become as bad as she is when the day comes that I have a DIL but as I have been treated so badly I think I will really try to be nice.

Catherine- I know I am lucky DH see's her for what she is but that because when he was younger he was always treated differently to his sister as she could do no wrong yet he couldnt do anything right I have never seen a family who had such favorits before and its not just me who seen it his auntys have said it before too.
Just like Sally said you will find someone it will just when you are ready.

I know. I guess sometimes I feel like I'm in a hurry and other times I want to run away from men. But lately, I really need a man's company if you get my drift. Not having any for nearly 2 months and after having my implant out, my libido has increased dramatically, well I'm almost desperate. But not desperate enough for my ex thank the sweet lord!

Tali, RE MIL, I was talking to my mum last night, and even though she said that no-one will ever be good enough for her children, she said she did like Nigel (my ex), until recently, and she also likes my Bro's GF. I think it really depends on who your are as a person. If you are a nicer person in general, then it'll be easier to be a nice MIL! :D

Cate, it would be nice just to have some male company. just make sure you are both on the same level, you don't want to get hurt!

Hugs for all!
:grouphug::hug::happyforyou:
sounds like everyone needs it this week

I agree! :D
it's been a rough week for some of us..... :hugs:

Sally; What an effhead!!! What a horrible excuse for a person! Oh, you are so much better off with out him darling!! You are a beautiful strong woman and you will find someone that will make you and Brendan happy and safe! For the time being you can give all your attention to your beautiful little boy!!!

Hi Lindsay! Welcome. How exciting another lill baby to add to your family! So your thinking blue huh? Are you going to find out the sex when you can or are you going to leave it as a surprise??

Tali: Bit of a bummer that the pics didn't turn out that great for the price that they wanted you to pay! A friend of mine had pics of her 4mth old daughter done and they were fantastic! Soooo adorable! I guess it just depends on the photographer and the company. You should have told the girl at the counter too bad and that you could have done a better job yourself and then seen how "HAPPY" she got...hahahaha...love to stir!

Well I just realised after that post that I have missed out on sooooo much since I have been gone. Wow....there are some horrible ppl out there!!! I just don't understand ppl sometimes. How dare they put their opinions out there with out considering other ppls feelings. That really gets me mad! What works for them doesn't necesarily work for others and vice versa! Girls, how you have chose to live YOUR life has nothing to do with other ppl and how they choose to live theirs. You don't see us "YOUNG" mums and "YOUNG" mums to be knocking "OLDER" mums and saying "God.....don't yoou think you should have started ALOT younger than 34??? Your positivly a dinosour!!!" FAROUT!!! I'm *!$$ED!!! I wish ppl would get a life and stop criticising others on the way they choose to live!

Pretty sure there is some wrong spelling in that post...oops!

LOL
/agree

PMSL rustygirl. Well put :)

lol :D i just laugh at them nowadays.... If they have nothing better to do than frown down at me then they are low lifes. I'm enjoying my time as a mummy and Brendan is happy, i'm now happy and that is all that matters. :)

mind you at the playgroup I go to, there was a lady who all last year was carrying on allllll the time as she couldnt fall pg with her 2nd baby as she and her hubby were 43 and I have to say that I did think to myself well why did you start earlier as they had been together for 20yrs before they had there 1st. as they wanted to travel Aust but they didnt save any money are now on the dole and have a commission home and couldnt afford IVF. She wasnt happy when I had Kai or when 2 of the other girls fell pg without trying too hard. but what does she expect its not our fault we started young and fall easier ( not that I do we take ages to fall) but lucky for them she did fall pg but at first the docs thought she was starting the change. But still now when she gets to playgroup she looks so tied I really dont think I could have a baby at 43 I have enough trouble keeping up with them now lol.

Us youngin's lol, have so much going for us. There are so many more percs to having kids younger. my mum is only 44 now, and she is enjoying being a grandma, she has all the energy she needs to work and still come home for cuddles with B. When I am my mum's age not only will I be living my own life (my bros and I have our own lives now) i will still be young enough to go out with my 24 yr, that if he wants too, lol. i will also be young enough to enjoy grandkids, if he's giving me some :D I don't even want to think where i would be without Brendan, he is the BEST decision I have ever made!!

I remember when I went to primary school I used to think my mum was the oldest person there because she had me at 30 mind you I didnt take into account that I was number 5 lol, but now kids are going to school with mums who you dont know if it nana or not. Once when DS was younger under 3 as at the time he was my only child anyway mum took him to a shop and someone asked how old her son was it made mums day lol but when she said that it was her grandson the lady said It just so hard to tell these days so she likes to stick to the side of coursion (sp?) and assume its the mother as you could really upset some if you said grandma and you had it wrong!!

:

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the lady said It just so hard to tell these days so she likes to stick to the side of coursion (sp?) and assume its the mother as you could really upset some if you said grandma and you had it wrong!!

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hehe :lol: so true... My mum and I get that. She'll be carrying Brendan, or pushing the pram so it's assumed she's the mum :D Makes her feels young again... lol. We also get mistaken for sisters. Which is funny. my mum and I are easy going and just laugh it off. Makes mum feels young again! lol, I repeated myself... hmmm... time for a nap.:lol:

Wow, i cant keep up with you ladies!!

not much happening here, dp's working crappier hours, (he's studying at uni -- biomedical science, and works at a licquor store for evenings/nights) he had the weekend off, but ws sick :( that was our last weekend off for the next 8 weekends :(

im so tired, for no reason at all... :( And no babies here for the next 5 years, until DP finsihes uni and med school, we want to be sorted and DP to be a qualified DR before we haave our next one... my parents have told me i should have gotten them all out of the way now, but i want to wait until we are sorted! and i want to go back to uni in the next few years!! You girls get told off for having them early, im getting told off for not finishing my family now lol

I'm thinking of doing the same Kat... DF will be 21 when jellybean comes along and then hopes to go back to uni finish his degree and get into a job before o have the next one. I'd really like to hhave two close together and then wait for more, but i guess jellybean will have his bubby aunts to play with (mums twins due 12/02), and his second cousins (my cousins, ages 2, 2 and 1!).

I have loved having 3yr gaps with my lot and I am really looking forward to have our last in 4 yrs that the joy of having children young you get to choose when you have your kids, plus you have the time. there are so many mums at playgroups who are having three in 3yrs as they dont have time on there side and then they are run raggerd and look so tied all the time plus they dont really get to enjoy their babies. But as I alway say each to there own if your happy then do what feels right for you.

i am a part time (well, almost full time) to my nephews who are 4 and 2, their mum cant cope with them most f the time, and has "breaks" (disappears) when Annika was born Xavier was only 3, and Deacon had just turned 2... its hard!! but if it means they are more adjusted because of it, i will be happy (and have lots of good karma on my side :-D

the joy of having children young you get to choose when you have your kids .... so true!!


I would've liked to have a 18 month- 2yr gap. Between the first two... not too sure how many I want :P I guess I will have to find someone who wants a made family... lol... i live in high hopes!!

And so begins the centrelink form filling..... sigh <headache>

Oh aren't they a pain?
I wrote a nasty letter but still haven't posted it, i want them to backpay me for the last four months! They won't do it but i feel jibbed that me and DP were living off one a fortnight between the two of us, somehow paying for rent and food and trying to afford for baby. Gosh i detest c/l. It's such a screwed system, in place to help us, but they just make life harder. Thank goodness DP got his job, i just feel bad for mooching for so long... But i guess that's "what love is", or so they say.

Definately a pain, i hate dealing with C/L but I gotta get some money somehow. I've got onto the CSA (child support agency) and they've arranged Nigel to pay me, BUT it's going to take 2 months for all the paperwork to go through. My first payment will be 7 Jan!! How rude, I'm supposed to try and live off of the little bit of single parenting payment and FTB I get until then... :( Good thing babies aren't all that expensive to look after. And thank god for parents, I love my mum and dad... :hugs: :D

Good luck Sally!!

Sal, don't they back pay from the date of application like centrelink do (sometimes)? That sucks so much. The centrelink lady I saw was really nice and very helpful. She had a look on a payment table to give me an estimate on how much of PPS I can get, and it looks like if I earn $700 gross a fortnight, I get the full PPS payment. Which is really good, as I will be getting about $600 net a fortnight, so that bit of money will really help. So the ball is rolling...

I decided to sleep on the sofa bed from now on. Being in the bed with Terry just made me feel sad and as I try to sleep I can't as the weight of stress washes over me. So I'm off to unfold the sofa and go to bed. Got my first day of work tomorrow!

Goodnight ladies xxxxxx

Good luck catherine, all the best, i hope the sofa isnt too bad for you :hug:

Thanks Ash.

Cate, I will get back payed, but that doesn't really help me now...

:hugs: all round.

Oh that sucks Sal but will help later. Bank it up for emergencies. Sofa was fine. I slept really well.

ahh money troubles..... its almost all i worry about atm. getting better though, DH just started a new job part time (i don't think i'd cope if he were full time, too many kids hanging off me for too long at a time otherwise) BUT of course its almost christmas so there's our money gone... plus we have to fix our car, i can't stand to catch another bus and its virtually impossible with both kids and a preggo belly, i mean it is possible but i don't feel safe doing it, kids are unpredictable and i don't want to risk DS1 running off onto the road or something while i've got DS2 in one arm and the pram in the other trying to load everything onto the bus. Its unlikely that he would but thats how these things happen, parents let their guard down for a second and the next thing you know you have a tragedy. Anyways back to money... christmas, and then both kids have their birthdays in February.. oh and 2 or their cousins are around christmas time too, plus we still have a few debts to pay off but thank god they will be gone soon, some at the end of december and a fricken stupid personal loan gone in February... just a shame its all happening at once. REALLY looking forward to this baby being born moneywise, not just for the cash we get for having another one but our debts will be gone by then and there are no major events happening for a while. will finally have some free cash.

I may have to migrate to the couch too, just not comfortable atm in bed with DH with my belly, its too hard to get comfy stupid bed's old and not really that supportive.

Centrelink require too much correspondance.. and that's assuming there are no stuff ups. bleugh, don't really want to have to claim stuff for new baby but have to.

Wow...heaps of centerlink stuff going on in here. I have never really had to deal with them. Although my mum has and has gotten off the phone to them in tears on a number of occasions! Bastards! That is the last thing a struggling single mother of 2 needs. Mind you that was a while ago.... Horrible. I hope that you girls don't have too much of a hard time dealing with them. Do I have to register with them or something, to get the baby bonus? Am I even entitled? My partner is in the Army and I don't work.

Everyone gets the bonus regardless of income. You'll get given the forms at the hospital after birth. You should also receive the family tax benefit which is all on the same form!

Nina- my DH was in the Navy for 12yrs and yes you get the baby bonus as Sally said everyone does the form you get is for medicare not centerlink anyway. but make sure that after you have baby you lodge centrelink forms as you do get money from them we used to get about $150 pf with one child and DH in the navy so you will also, I always thought it was easier to make appointment to go in and see them they dont like it but stuff they have to make one if you ask, as that way you have them fill in the form and work out how much money you will get no mistakes that way plus always write down their name so you can remember who worked it all out for you.

I'm sure I only filled out one form, the 1st page was all about medicare and the second part was about centrelink. I could be wrong, there was sooo much happening at the time. I might have even rang them from the hospital, can't remember (I stayed in accomodation next to the hospital, while B was in NICU and SCN) Definately a good idea to get the names of the people you deal with! And dates and times are a bonus, JIC they stuff up.

could have been must have to say after I have a baby my DH does all of the paper work. but baby bonus is def from medicare as this is how they get everyone as if you are in the high income then you dont get centerlink and therefore they wouldnt know about you but with medicare everyone puts baby on there card.

DH earns about $1100 a fortnight and i don't work so we end up getting about $580 a fortnight for the two kids, that includes rent assistance, Family Tax benefit, and a small amount of Parenting payment.
Everyone gets baby bonus when baby is born which is currently $4000 and was set to go up to $5000 in July but of course we've just had a change of government so we'll have to see if that changes or not.
You also get $600 for each child with your tax return at tax time (once again we'll see if that changes with the government or not)
From what i understand in order for Family Tax Benefit to really be affected in any huge way you'd need to be earning a total combined income of like $50-60k a year

Thanks girls.

That helps clear up a few things for me. I was really unsure of what I was entitled to. I will also take your advice about taking down names and times as obviously you are all talking from experience.


I hope you are all doing well!

actully you still get tax benefit up to $100,000 just not much.