infertility... in your early 20's

[shellshell]

DH and I got married at 21, started ttc at 22.... at 23, we got diagnosed w/ male and female factor infertility. Am now 24 and still not preggers.

Heeded all the warnings about infertility... not leaving it too late.... not being overweight, eating healthy, exercising, not smoking, not drinking to excess.... even the STD's warning (DH and I left it til our wedding night). And instead we have two silly chromosomes - one for him and one for me - and so we can't conceive at 22, at 23,... what about 24?... we'll see...

Anyone else out there?

[RhiChiChi]

Hi Shellshell,

I really can't personally relate to what you have said, being 30 and begun ttc at 29.

I can understand your frustration though. Myself, I am a non-smoker, social drinker, No STD's but am overweight and only really walk everyday and am now 7 wks 3 days pg.

On the other hand my gf who has had two healthy children smoked before and during pg, ate processed foods whilst pg b/c of severe morning sickness, did little or no exercise - go figure????

I think whilst a healthy lifestyle is really important, (things like what you & your DH are experiencing) life doesn't discriminate.

I know that this is not comforting to hear but don't change what you are doing, cos this will only make your ttc journey better/easier. (less odds against you) Have you gone to see a FS?

Good luck with everything.....

[shellshell]

Hey, Jooles - thx!

Yeah, DH and I have been seeing FS's since March this year... still no BFP... but still hopeful! I know the healthy lifestyle could make for a healthier bub if/when we get one... so we're sticking to it. I know we've got to be healthiest we can be for a preg to have the best chance of being successful...

Congrats on the pregnancy!! Hope it all goes smoothly!

[Danni]

im running out the door but will definitely post when i get back on later this morning. I am a young woman who is FINALLY pregnant and I can give you a lot of advice

[shellshell]

Hey Danni - Congrats on the p/gcy! Hope to hear from you soon.

Just wanted to **rant** that I also hate the way I feel we are treated differently because we are younger. One FS encouraged us in July to keep trying naturally (ie. without IUI or IVF) for a "few more years" because "it's not like you're 38"!!! So what if we're 38 or 18, we're still infertile and we wanted to be preggers back in Jan 05... and it looks like we need the extra help to get there.

Oh well, hopefully we'll get there some day. Might be 38 by the time it happens!! LOL Just kidding... hope not.

[Danni]

Hey shell, thanks for posting so I got the reminder

Well, DH and I were ttc for just over 2 years when I finally fell pregnant. It took us a while to find a FS who took us seriously and actually helped us.

try lookng around until you find someone who can nderstand and help you conceive.

We were always looked down upon as getting married young, ttc young and now being pregnant young. But that is OUR decision. We are all adults and people need to realise thats the benefit we receive when becoming an adult, CHOICE!

it really makes me angry that people think I cannot be a good mother as I'm "so young". Well I feel I will be a better Mum as I am young and I can grown up with my children.

Then when Im in my forties, my kids will be all grown up and I will have my life back, rather than just starting my family then.

I just wish people would be more considerate of younger people, thats all.

We had a lot of problems conceiving and were told we would not be able to conceive naturally....but guess what? We conceived on our last cycle before ivf.

Its definitely possible and Im SURE you will be pregnant by the time you are 38

Come and join in on the ttc threads, many lovely women in there who share your journey.

[{sarah}]

26 months for us for our son & now we're up to 9months for our second, although at 27 I don't think I count as a young mum anymore

[Cricket]

Sounds like your situation is somewhat similar to how we felt when we first got married. We got married when DH was 19 (almost 20) and I was 20 (almost 21) and both wanted to have babies RIGHT AWAY! We finally conceived our first 14 months later. We asked the doctor a couple of times what we should do, and she said just wait and see for a little while. And it turned out that we did become pregnant, but it seems to take us much longer than others. We have never used birth control (we also waited until we were married) and do not smoke or drink, etc. It took us nearly two years to conceive our second daughter. I am now 26, Marieke is 11 months old, and I have had no pregnancies since her birth. In one way I get frustrated at people who go off of b/c and expect to be pregnant instantly (and sometimes are!) and in another way, I figure God knows what's best for me and my family. If I became pregnant very easily, I would probably be going crazy with 5 kids already. My two are enough for me to handle right now, so I am trying to wait contentedly for the third to arrive. I still don't know if either of us have an actual fertility issue. I know that I have a fairly long and irregular cycle, but I don't know how much of an impact that has on my fertility. I have been temping during the past 2 years, and I am ovulating with every cycle, as best I can tell. I'm not sure if I want to know more about whether it's "his fault" or "my fault" because I wouldn't want either one of us to feel guilty about it.
Anyways, that's our story! Hopefully you will also be able to conceive soon, and get some answers to your TTC questions. By the way, I know you are seeing a specialist now, but have you tried temping? It has really helped me get a handle on what my body is doing! I don't know if it helped us conceive, really, because we didn't change anything, but we did become pregnant on our second cycle of temping. I like it anyway, because as I said, I have an irregular cycle, so now I can tell when AF is going to show up! I'd recomment fertility friend, online.
All the best!

[shellshell]

Thanks... thanks for sharing your story.

Thanks for the suggestion of temping as well. We used temping as a way of avoiding pregnancy early in our marriage (first 6 months), so I have done it before... and don't like it! I started temping 6 months before we got married, so I would know what my cycles would be like... however, in all that time, there was only one cycle that showed O. It's silly when I look back... I just thought it was normal not to O every cycle!! Silly girl... should have gone to doc straight away, but at that stage was still getting cycles in the low to mid 30's (ie. still pretty regular), so I just thought it was normal not to O every cycle - and also thought some of it was because of inaccuracies with the temping method - ie. taking it at a different time, or disturbed sleep etc.

I too believe that God has everything in control and knows what's best for us. It still hurts when I think of our dreams for a baby, for a family at a young age (I know we are still young, but I mean at an age younger than we are now), but I can see that God has been using this time to grow us in our relationship with him and with one another... and if we do get preggers, I just think we will be better parents as a result of the enormous struggle it will have been to get there.

All the best to you too.

[Danni]

and if we do get preggers, I just think we will be better parents as a result of the enormous struggle it will have been to get there.

that is so very true!! Im so pleased you know this already. It took me a long time to realise these things

[ktgirl]

Hi Shell,

I am 23 (24 in 9days) and have PCOS. DH & I hve been trying about 6 months now with the help of Clomid nd Metformin. I am so glad now that we started trying early as I would have hated staying on BCP and coming off later in life to realise then that I had a problem. The best thing that people like us have going for us is our age. Although we still have trouble TTC if we do have to go down the path of IVF our chances are so much higher.

DH & I have just been asked by our FS to start thinking about IVF. I am hoping that we don't have to get that far as I am in the TWW and would love to be PG now sadly I have no signs that I am, danm I wish I felt PG.

I hope that you get your BFP really soon. By the way you don't happen to be in Brisbane do you? It is just I love the Dr that I have been going to see and she never even blinked at the fact that we are young and TTC so if you are I can give you a good recomendation.

[shellshell]

Thanks Kate.

I'm not in Brissy, am in Melb, at least for the mo'. Could be moving in a few months to Sydney tho, depending on DH's work... how exciting!

I think DH and I will be doing IVF early next year. We've already booked into a clinic in Syds in case we do end up moving. We've booked into Fertility First... and know it's a top quality clinic.

All the best w/ everything!