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Thread: Responses...

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Default Responses...

    Just wondering how toher people's relatives responded to their pregnancy?
    Here's the story: I am 17 and 33 weeks pregnant, will be 18 when bubs is born. My nan and my other relatives don't even acknowledge that I am pregnant. However, my immediate family is very supportive and happy. My aunty is pregnant too, and I am constantly getting emails from my nan about how excited they all are for my aunty and all that, but not once since they found out (15 weeks) have they bothered to mention my pregnancy or even to ask how I am going. It really annoys me and I don't know what to do.
    What do you suggest???


  2. #2

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    Confront them nicely about it. Make it impossible for it to be ignored. In a few weeks you are going to have a baby and I'm sure that he or she will smooth everything over for you. Good Luck!

  3. #3

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    I feel for you, it is such an exciting time in your life. You need to talk to your Nan and other rellies who haven't acknowledge your pregnancy. Do you see them often - as it is a bit obvious now and very rude of them not to mention anything to you!!! Did you personally tell the rellies that you were pregnant or did it come second hand. Family are sometimes funny and won't acknowledge anything until they are told personally (we can choose our friends!) Take your ultrasound pictures with you and sit with your Nan and tell her how excited you are about becoming a mum. If you don't see her - maybe send her a nice card explaining how you can't wait for her to meet her new great grandchild with photocopies of your ultrasound. Talking is the best way to solve problems, remember hormones are racing so just keep a level head and keep cool even though you may want to pop them one!

  4. #4

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    My Nan lives ten hours away, but I wrote her a letter and sent it to her to tell her, and I have mentioned it a few times, but she just ignores the whole thing.

  5. #5

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    Jul 2004
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    I know how you feel. I was 17 when i was pregnant with my daughter. Everyone in my family and my partners family was excited, all except for my dad. He never aknowledged it at all. Never asked how I or the baby was. He never even told my uncle ot cousins that i was pregnant, which really hurt. I then had a huge emotional moment about it to his girlfriend. Things slowly got better after that. she must have had a real talking to him! If your family does not aknowledge your pregnancy, once bub is born i am sure they will. Babies always seem to get the better of people! But if they don't then i don't think they deserve to be in your or your baby's life.

  6. #6

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    Sep 2004
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    I have a question - how old is your anuty and has she had trouble falling pregnant? The reason I ask is because sometimes when someone has had a lot of trouble falling, it can be very hard on those close to that person when someone else falls very easily (or appears to)... Im just wondering if there is any reason other than your age, as a factor thats all...

  7. #7
    DoubleK Guest

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    hi there!
    i think you need to confront your family nicely about it, if not, how do your parents feel about your family not acknowledging your pregnancy.. perhaps they could help you decide what to do.

    my situation is a little different to yours, but i am still a young mum-in-waiting!
    my cousin who is 32 and married for a few years announced her pregnancy back in early september last year, we were all over the moon for her! in mid september i found out i was pregnant (a very welcomed surprise!) and it turns out she was due 3 days before me!
    everyone was happy for me, just a little shocked i think and compared me to my cousin whos married and were 'trying' for a baby, while my partner and i were just young and in love (which is true but we thinkits the best thing thats ever happend!)
    as time went on i think they learnt to accept my pregnancy was just as special as hers, and her and i have been going thru these last few weeks of waiting on the phone to each other exchanging notes! even thought there is an 11 year age difference... we can relate to each other really well!

    good luck with everything!
    Rach

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Keen
    I have a question - how old is your anuty and has she had trouble falling pregnant? The reason I ask is because sometimes when someone has had a lot of trouble falling, it can be very hard on those close to that person when someone else falls very easily (or appears to)... Im just wondering if there is any reason other than your age, as a factor thats all...

    My aunty is 39 and no, she had no difficulty falling pregnant. She had two children to her ex-husband, and is now pregnant with her first child to her new husband. They wanted to concieve on new years eve, and did so like two weeks later so there were no problems of difficulties...

  9. #9

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    Oh bummer man, that's tough when people judge you and find you wanting according to their standards
    Kaz Cooke in her book Up the Duff has advice that I'm always remembering in situations like this, which is 'it's about them, not you'.
    As in, their reaction doesn't mean your pregnancy is a bad thing, but their experiences and the way they see the world affects the way they react. Perhaps your nan's known some young mums who didn't parent well and that's affected her reaction, or maybe it's whether or not you're in a r/ship or married that influences her reaction.
    Do you know what I mean? She might find it too hard to move past values and prejudices she has.

    Which doesn't make her treatment right, but I think once you understand why people act the way they do, it can hurt less. Because it's less personal, and more just their mindset, where they're coming from.

    Would your mum or dad talk to your nan and try discover what the main issue is?
    Chin up chicky, I'm sure you'll be a great mum, despite a few unenthusiastic reactions

  10. #10
    butterfly_kisses1 Guest

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    hi
    first of al big hugs i know how you feel
    my sons father's (now my ex) family did the same to me but i was 16
    my ex's cousin was having a baby aswell due a few weeks after ours was
    they gave her everything and left us out totally there excuse was cause we didnt
    live near them but there was always the post ect
    anyway getting on
    i just ignored it and let them do what they wanted the more i said
    anything the more they ignored the fact i was preg
    it realy hurt but after he was born they got over them selves
    and where really happy

  11. #11

    Join Date
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    Geelong
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    hi, i went through the same problem when i fell pregnant with my son, my sister had had her son just 10mths b4 i found out (she was 17 when she got pregnant) and when she told our dad he was very excited for her and everyone congratulated her but when i told them i was pregnant our dad didnt contact me for 6mths but phoned my sister regularly and only 1 other family member said congrats to me.
    yes i was only 15 but that shouldnt have made 1 bit of difference:mad:
    After the birth everything settled down, my dad has come down to victoria to see the kids (he's in NSW) and my family couldnt imagine life without them.
    hang in there, hopefully things will work out.
    Daisy

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