Younger Couples Chat ~ December 2007 #2

[Early Kids]

Suck on that gas girls!!

hehe My birth experience is quite different, due to the circumstances I had no choices for my labour. I had to give up my choices for the health of my baby, I signed a consent form when my waters broke (at 28wks) to do whatever necessary to keep my baby alive. I did most of it without pain relief, but then it got critical (Brendans stats dropped) and was given an epidural as they were getting me ready to have a c-sect, Brendan wanted me to have my natural birth because he was born within about 15-30 mins of having the epi!! It's a pain you'll never forget, but you will overcome it when you see your beautiful child!
Good luck girls
Take Care

[ElleJay]

Hi all - hope you all had a great new year!

I'm up to day 46 of my cycle and no sign of AF at all - I've POAS last Friday and it was a BFN, so I know I'm not pg, maybe I should test after I get paid on Wednesday, no harm in it. If AF hasn't arrived by at least next Wednesday and I've not gotten a BFP, I'm going to the drs

[alioops]

Good idea LJ. i would visit the Dr if i was u.

[Butterfly_Princess]

Hmmh i just had a whole reply typed out and then it seemed some one took over my computer and was moving the mouse around, closed the window and then moved the mouse around all over...im going to virus scan, even though i did one this morning!!

Sooo any ways, as i was saying...
Im sitting here with a huge grin plastered on my face!! You girls are so funny and so supportive!! I love you all! Its good i have you all to talk to, because none of my friends have been through any of this before, so i cant get any info or gossip from them!! I absolutely love this site too! Its been soooooo good! to all!
BTW Welcome Sal!! Im sure you will love bellybelly as much as we all do, and watch out, its addictive, but in a good way (Any one thinking bellybelly anonymous?? coz i seriously am :P)

Okay, im seriously gonna go now and cry coz my computer is going mental!! I dont even know why, grr! Back in the morning girlies.

[slimjadey]

Welcome Sal!

I'm so tired this morning, didn't get much sleep and DS1 decided to wake me up nice and early with demands to watch tv and was ready with a huge tantrum when i didn't want to put it on for him.
On a happier note the foxtel guy's coming around today to fix it! i've grown attached to my foxtel after the kids have gone to bed....

[Early Kids]

I'd be off to the drs too LJ. *sending baby dust*

Awwww Meg, we love you too!

Labour isn't that bad, if it was women would only have 1 child (or twins, ect)! It is soooo totally worth it
Here's a rant for the day:
I am so sick to death of people (FIL) telling me that my labour and birth "doesn't count" and was "easier" another good one... they tell me "I didn't feel the pain of true labour". 1st of all I had a baby and that is labour/birth, how doesn't that count???? Second of all if anything my labour was harder, my uterus had to work twice as hard to push "not a lot out" I have gotten opinions from other premmie mums who have other children and they ALL told me their premmie birth was harder. In other words it was harder for them to push their 900gm babies out and easier for them to push their 3kg baby out. I understand that a bigger baby crowning would definitely hurt (ouchies) But as far as the labour goes, contractions are contractions and its a person pain threshold that differs!! Why do people have to belittle me??? Do they not think about what they are saying, why try and make themselves look better than me? Yes their births were better than mine.... BUT they didn't "feel the pain" of seeing their newborn be resuscitated and then watching every single day their little bub was in hospital struggling to survive. But because they think I didn't feel labour pains my labour doesn't count.... may as well kill me now, my body already failed my son and I have to live with that for the rest of my life! Aaaaargh i'm so upset Who cares who much a baby weighed or if they had natural or c-sections. A baby was born and it was a beautiful (but very scary) moment. why can they not just leave me alone!
Sorry that turned into a longer rant than i thought...
Take Care

[Early Kids]

BTW i'm not trying to make my labour sound harder than anyone else's I'm just annoyed and upset that people do it to me Everyone has a difficult labour to themselves and most of us have nothing to compare.... if i'd had another child i'd compare their births, but no way would I compare my birth to someone else's!
Oh and I was in labour for just over 20hrs. thats counting constant contractions with no pain relief until i started the gas at around 14hrs. I started to dialate at around 4 pm so my active labour was just under 12 hrs. And if we want to get technical my labour was 2 weeks (my waters broke at 28 wks, and I was having contractions from the day after they broke), but due to the interference of drs, they kept stopping it.
Aaaaargh, I shouldn't have to explain myself!

[Early Kids]

I've just googled labour, lol, and the site it came up with this:
I was in the first stage of labour for 2 wks and 1 day and around 8.5 hrs. the second stage of labour was around 1 hour. And the 3rd stage was about 30 mins.

1st stage is the cervix started to thin, accomponied by contractions and until the cervix is 10cms dialated.
2nd stage is the birth, delivery of the baby once 10cms dialated.
and 3rd stage is the delivery of the placenta.

[Isadora]

Sally the first stage of labour is the worst I think! And here you were going through it for two weeks. And then to top it all off you had to deal with a very unwell baby. Ignore FIL, he really has no idea what a woman has to go through. Sure i'm guessing he sat by his wife's side through her birth(s), but he will never truly know what childbirth is like. Besides even though Brendan was born early and therefore had a lower than normal birth weight, that is still a decent amount to have to push out!!

Jade - Oh no not looking forward to the tantrums!!

Meg - I've had someone or something take over my computer like that before. Very freaky!

[JCE0810]

You ladies are great and ever so supportive, feels like we've got our own little cheer squad for labour haha. I'm the same as Meg none of my friends have had kids as yet, so chatting to you all its great.

Sally- no matter what anyone says you went through labour and gave birth, and it does count and you by no means had it any easier so dont pay ANY attention to FIL he has no idea what hes talking about. Everyones experience with labour & giving birth is ALWAYS going to be different and no one has the right to be-little you because of their views.

[mummycate]

I was in the first stage of labour for 28 hours total, second for about 30 mins or less and third stage for 15 mins or less. I had gas for the last 8 hours, minus 2 because I was getting fainty and they took it off me and suggested I have a bath. I still bloody wanted it! So gas for just 6 hours.

Sally, nice ticker! Keep your chin up, you have a big healthy baby boy. What more could anyone want?

[mummycate]

And your FIL was probably at the pub for his 3(?) kids births. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.

[Je$$_84]

Sally- must be the hormones but i'm having a cry after reading yur post... (such a sook ATM)

BUT they didn't "feel the pain" of seeing their newborn be resuscitated and then watching every single day their little bub was in hospital struggling to survive.

My heart breaks reading this.... I think you did an amazing job and shouldnt let anyone tel you otherwise.....

Although my first was nothing like yours i did only have a quick labour... bout 3-4 hours from start of contractions i got to the hospital being 1 min appart and they were going to send me home as i want dilated... i refused to leave as i was booked in 9am for induction anyways and they decided to break my water @ bout 12.30 and had bubs @1.17am.... everyone always laughs or puts **** on me saying it wasnt as bad as theirs cos it was quick... doenst mean it wasnt painfull. I had contractions start 5 mins appart then went quickly to 1 min appart then every 30 sec... They were painful but i did it with gas and a shot of pethodine....

I dont listen to anyone when they tell me how "easy" my labour was... it may have been quick but contractions were hard and fast... I think any one who brings a child into the world fast, slow, with pain relieve, without, c/section etc what ever should be respected and appreciated for her efforts... I would love to see any man do what we women can do...

[Butterfly_Princess]

I hate it how guys seem to have this opinion on labour, they dont physically know how painful it is (or isnt) and shouldnt really speak up about it because they have never experienced it for themselves. It was like when my dad said to my DP "We've had 5 kids, and let me tell you, labour and birth isnt painful - i didnt feel a thing!!" Needless to say dad got a telling off, but seriously, joke or no joke, what right does a male have to pipe in and say stuff about something they havent physically experienced themselves! GRR.

I ran a virus thingy on my computer a million times last night, and nothing came up!! So i dunno why my computer was so mental last night, it seems okay now.

[mummycate]

Aren't the quicker labours more painful? Less time to stretch properly and more chance of tearing.

[slimjadey]

I woke up with light contractions early in the morning with DS1 which went throughout the day getting stronger, at about 5pm we went to the hospital and they were about to send me home until the midwife decided to check my blood pressure which was high so she brought in another midwife to get another opinion.... and then another.. and then another.. and then a doctor... before i knew it they had me laying on my back (which isn't a very nice position to labour in) with a monitor on my tummy, they then broke my waters (afterwhich the labour pains increased 10 fold) so they could stick a monitor on baby's head. I burst into tears as i watched the heart monitor machine drop down to 80 (not good for baby). I had ecclampsia and was literally shaking because of the really high blood pressure. I was so afraid, the room was filled with a whole medical team and the registrar finally came in and said that i needed an emergency c-section so they rushed me into the OR and did that. I can remember laying there so scared my eyes were wet from crying. Dylan was born and got to hang out with us in the OR for about 10 minutes before being taken to intensive care and i didn't see him again until 2am (he was born at 7:30pm). After about 1hr in recovery they sent down a polaroid of him as i could not physically go to see him. A little later on a midwife came in to express some milk (rather colostrum) to take to him since we could not meet for him to breastfeed. The night after i got to have a shower, i came very close to feinting from the pain and drugs after surgery. The afterbirth pains were excruciating despite being as doped up on morphine as they would allow me to be and it took me several days to be able to get out of bed to pee for myself. rolling over in bed was a nightmare and took me several minutes and was not comfortable anyway because this would stretch the side of my tummy. I had to have DH wash me in the shower for several days afterward i could not do it myself and i had to be sitting down on a chair the whole time. I had to just sit there and watch while DH bathed him as i could not physically help. We finally went home after 8 days and there was not much i could do that involved tensing my tummy muscles for a couple of weeks.
I only got to 3cm dialated, reckon i had an easy labour?
having said that, what i went through doesn't hold a candle to what you went through Sally. Even though Dylan was having troubles breathing he didn't stop altogether like that (to my knowledge) and he was at least full term. Your FIL has no right to speak about what he doesn't know about! I have a little bit of an idea of what you went through and i know its scary, its the best and worst day of your life, and so emotionally draining and to shrug it off like that is so disrespectful to you.
*hugs*

You can see why i want a VBAC this time around.. i want to be able to walk to my baby and hold him properly right after i have him, and thats my motivation for getting through the pain and all that, because when its over, its over and you can then enjoy your baby.

[mummycate]

Jade :hugs: hopefully this time you get to gave a vb

[Early Kids]

Thank You All So Much! I feel a lot better now. If it had just been my FIL I probably would have shrugged it off, but the whole family got onto me, MIL, FIL, Aunty-IL. Like I don't already feel bad enough....

Jade, HUGS and I'm sorry to hear about your birth experience, I really do hope you get your VBA2C

Take Care