28th cycle failed - any hope?

[worrywart]

Hi,
I'm new & in fact, I think this is the first time I've ever posted content to the internet, so I'm nervous.
I am 32, and have been ttc since Jan 07. I just got my period, then. And I feel very hopeless.
I have been prescribed clomid (that was my 5th round), even though there wasn't much evidence I wasn't ovulating (ie the LH tests were never quite positive, but the day 21 progesterone test was normal). I guess I don't trust my doctor, who seems quite absent-minded and a bit authoritarian.
My partner got his analysis & was even above-average. I feel like everything is "my fault". I know that's ridiculous.
I have fibroids & have had uterine polyps removed (surgery last July).
I can see that others on these forums have had such incredibly difficult experiences & far worse than mine so far, so I feel like my feelings are not justified, and I feel very alone (I cannot think of a friend who isn't newly pregnant, or just had a child).
Any advice? Should I ditch this last round of clomid & just ask for IVF referral?

[lilmisshavachat]

Hi Worrywart and welcome to BB.. I'm sorry it's not under more joyful circumstances... Big to you sweetie.. I understand your feelings of not having done it as tough as others and feeling unjustified in how you feel.. But we all deal with things differently and we all walk the path we walk.. Some do it easier and some do it a lot tougher.. as my motto states.. "Before you judge.. Walk a mile in another mans shoes.." I try to live by this... As for finding another Doctor... The sooner the better by the sounds of it... I would be seeking out a recommended fertility specialist in your area and making an appointment and depending where you live there can be a wait of a month or so.. You just ring the specialist that you want to see and make an appointment then you get your Dr to write you a referral.. That easy.. Your specialist can then look at what is best for you.. My specialist put me through 3 rounds of Clomid only as he reckons that if I didn't fall by then, I wasn't going to naturally and we would go to IVF.. I had tubal scarring, adhesions and a little Endo which FS said was enough to delay me getting PG... Check out the LTTTC threads https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...il-2009-a.html HERE... You will find plenty of support from the ladies here and I wish you all the best with whichever way your path leads...

[worrywart]

Hi, thanks so much for your message. It was really helpful and I really appreciate it. I do feel very supported already. And it's true what you say about walking in another person's shoes. I guess each person has their own unique experience of the world and comparing maybe simplifies things too much.
So, I feel far more resolved now, thank you - I'm going to book in to see the fertility specialist & check out those other forums. Wishing you all the best, Lillmisshavachat.

[K1]

Hi worrywart
Thanks for contributing to the forum, welcome aboard. Its a very safe and supportive place.

We waited a long time before getting a referral and even then we waited a fair while before deciding to go forward with IVF. As we were officially in the 'unexplained fertitily' category. As my DH's tests all showed up clear and also 'above average' I can totally understand where you are at.

While we finally decided to go ahead with IVF. They did a bunch of tests on both me and DH, a series of test that they apparently always do before starting treatment. One of them was a Sperm Anitbodies test on my DH 'stuff'. As it works out that he did have 75% semen antibodies and therefore its a 1 in 5 year chance that we would get pregnant naturally (and strangely enough we did have 1 [failed] pregnancy naturally during 5 years of ttc). Anyway, the news of this explaination for our infertility floored us both. We still cannot quite work out why this Sperm Antibody test is not done prior to starting IVF. Our FS said that it is only something that is done by Monash IVF and therefore only done once a couple started IVF! Not sure if I am allowed to post a link here if this gets taken down just google Semen Antibodies to find out more. Article: Anti Sperm Antibodies

I'm not sure if you can requrest the test, but if I had of known about it we definately would have requested it and the results would have saved us years of needless trying, many of which it was me assuming my body was 'broken'.

Its up to you when you feel ready to do IVF, perhaps you could consider an appointment, take in the information and Drs advice and see how you feel about it.

Hope that helps.
Best of luck.

[worrywart]

Hi K1,
Thanks so much for your reply. That is really interesting & helpful to know. My partner is phoning a specialist this morning and I'll be sure to ask about that test when we go see him. Best of luck for you too!

[worrywart]

Hey, Lilmisshavachat,
I think I'm a bit technologically-challenged. I swore I posted a reply to you but I can't see it. Anyway, thanks again so much for your advice - much-needed and so much appreciated. I wish you all the best.