IVF and> 38 years old

[mumoncemoreplease]

Hi. We're a 39yo couple, been trying naturally for 5 years, and IVF for 1 year. We have unexplained infertility. So far we have had 5 cycles. The first cycle didn't even produce an embryo. We have only had a maximum of two embryos so had day 2 or 3 transfers. These have all been ICSI. This cycle (5th) we tried without the ICSI, and let them fertilise naturally. Ended up with 4 embryos. Two were transferred and it all seemed very promising. Period hadn't even started by the day of the preg test, so we started to get hopeful. But of course another BFN. So realistically it doesn't look like it's going to work for us. We're starting to get very angry and depressed, because we can't see any point to life without children. So we keep trying even though it's probably time to give up. Not sure if we should keep inflicting psychological damage on ourselves or just give up and live out our meaningless days watching TV and being stabbed emotionally every time we see a child or someone asks us when we're going to have kids or a friend or colleague struts by with their huge belly, or else take up sky-diving and hope that one day the chute won't open. People keep telling us we should have counseling, but that can't give us children so there's no point. Or we get told to subscribe to the IVF newsletter from our clinic. We did that for awhile and got tired of all the stories of people getting pregnant. As if that would make us feel better.

Ok, sorry for the rant. But that's the only option we have left.

[mumoncemoreplease]

Hi JustJuice just read your post and I was so sad for you. Just wanted to send you a big cyber hug..not that that helps any..but.. It's so hard to know when to stop..much harder than the decision to start treatment..sorry have no advice or answers..xx Rant away whenever...

[Seaspryte]

We're starting to get very angry and depressed, because we can't see any point to life without children. So we keep trying even though it's probably time to give up. Not sure if we should keep inflicting psychological damage on ourselves or just give up and live out our meaningless days watching TV and being stabbed emotionally every time we see a child or someone asks us when we're going to have kids or a friend or colleague struts by with their huge belly, or else take up sky-diving and hope that one day the chute won't open. People keep telling us we should have counseling, but that can't give us children so there's no point. Or we get told to subscribe to the IVF newsletter from our clinic. We did that for awhile and got tired of all the stories of people getting pregnant. As if that would make us feel better.

Ok, sorry for the rant. But that's the only option we have left.

So sorry you're having so much trouble, Justjuice, we may be in the same boat soon when we start IVF. I'm 39, too. How hard is it to see pregnant women and women with babies when it just isn't happening for you. It's killing me, too. I don't know what to say. Just (((HUGS))) and try, as hard as it is, to never lose hope.

I'm new here so not sure how to respond to everyone else on this thread except to say good luck and hope you have your BFPs soon

[justjuice]

Thanks for the support (and hugs). And good luck to you guys too. Perversely, it helps to hear that others are having problems too (sorry!). Oh, and to those just starting IVF, don't believe the newsletters and the stories that go "With our first cycle of IVF I got pregnant and now I have a beautiful boy/girl". Even though it might be true in a small number of cases, you need to be prepared to have multiple cycles. We thought we'd try 3 cycles and there would be a good chance of success. Five failed cycles down, one chance at FET to go, and then who knows.

I have started to tell everyone about us doing IVF now, because I'm tired of the questions about when I'm going to have kids. So just recently someone I'd told announced to me "Good news! XYZ (a mutual acquaintance) has just had a baby boy!" When I looked less than pleased she said "I thought you'd be happy because you're in the same situation." People just don't understand.

[mum2be2010]

Hi Ladies,

I thought I would create a post on this thread as I've been through quite a bit of IVF 6 years ago when we started our IVF journey I created a support group on facebook called IVF/Infertility Support thinking there may be other women out there that would like to talk to others going through the same experience. I didnt realise BellyBelly talked about TTC! I attempted 6 cycles fresh and frozen transfers, found out I was pregnant naturally last November so you never know what is going to happen. If anyone wants to check out my support group on facebook feel free to have a look

[trishy]

mum2be2010 when I had my daughter I had her naturally, as I was just about the start IVF after years of try as the pressure was kinda off, not as lucky this time, so Justjuice you never know what could happen. It is hard to know when to stop, I wasnt sure if I should reply as I do have one child but (GBH's) If you speak to the counsellor they might give you coping strategies, which could help manage the stress and the feelings you feel. Maybe worth while if you do decide to do another cycle.

Have you tried acupunture or a naturapath in conjunction with a cycle. There have been studies about the increase sucess using acupunture.

[mumoncemoreplease]

Hi All. I had my ER on Sat We got 4 eggs..I am a bit disappointed and nervous as I don't usually have great fertilisation rates. I am hoping for two blasts to transfer on Thurs.. Fingers crossed How is everyone else doing?

[trishy]

fx'd mumoncemoreplease simular to me but I had 5 eggs and got 2 to tansfer

ATM 1 more week of 2ww

[mumoncemoreplease]

Thanks for sharing that! Best of luck Trishy. Did you have a 3 or 5 day transfer?

[trishy]

5 day

ATM I think AF is about to hit though, any symptoms I've had are disappearing. So feeling really lost at the moment

[mumoncemoreplease]

trishy : Sorry you're feeling lost..fingers crossed your body is playing tricks on you and your mind. It is the worst part of the 2ww. Thinking of you..

[mumoncemoreplease]

I had my transfer today and was thrilled to have 2 blasts to transfer. Grade 1 and Grade 2.. Yea!! After only getting 4 eggs at retrieval I am happy with the result. Ok next step the dreaded 2ww!! BT 26/7 Monday 8.30!! Please snuggle in embies!!

Trishy..How are you going? Hope AF is staying away? Crossing fingers for you..

[trishy]

Unfortantly I got AF last night.

Fx'd for you mumoncemoreplease

[onthefly]

Hi ladies,
Could you please keep general TTC and/or cycle discussion in our existing chatter threads?
Older Women TTC
LT TTC & Assisted Conception

Thanks,