I think you've just confirmed what I believe deep down- that if it's going to happen it will. I can't help taking little precautions (they tend to give me some small feeling of control in a situation I have very little to no control over) but ultimately I think it's up to the embryo.
Congratulations on your little girl!
Nat82, that's a really good point. I certainly agree that at the end of the day the most important factors (ie, is it a strong, sticky embie?) are really out of your control. My view was simply that, like Maggie, I wanted to feel like I was doing something in a process where so much is, indeed, out of your hands. I can totally see why you would get jaded, however, after doing several cycles. I have no doubt that if I had a couple of BFNs from my first few cycles, I probably would have responded exactly like you -- saying I'm not going to make that much effort anymore. In fact, that's how I felt when I was TTC naturally. In the beginning I would try to be good during the TWW (although not at all to the same extent as when doing IVF), but after the first few times that didn't work, I pretty much said, "Screw this. I'm not going to keep living like a monk when it's clearly useless." For years, I drank what I want, didn't bother with preg supplements, etc., because I had decided that there was no point since I had no hope of getting pregnant anyway. Of course, when I finally started IVF I learned that there really HAD been no point to being the good girl acting like I was pregnant all the time (like they say you should do when TTC) since w/DH's 1% morphology there really was no hope of conceiving without ICSI. So I can't say I regret being blase. I personally finally felt motivated to be "good" and make an effort to change my behavior again only when we started IVF since I finally felt like we actually had a chance. God only knows whether that improved mental state made some difference. Obviously your history shows that it's meaningless in some cases. I think the bottom line is that all you can do is what you feel mentally strong and motivated enough to do. For what it's worth, my FS and clinic, while supportive of complementary therapies, etc., gave me the impression that they didn't really care if you did anything special during the TWW other than avoiding getting overheated and making sure that you drank extra water. That tells me that they don't think the sorts of things that I listed above make much difference. Otherwise, they would be more insistent that you do them.
Congrats on finally getting a baby in your arms, Nat82. And Maggie, I really hope that, whatever factors end up being the cause, this FET sticks for you. (((Hugs)))
PS. Maggie, I totally was an acupuncture skeptic before I went, but I could *feel* stuff happening when I went for my first treatment, and you feel so totally relaxed by the time each session is over, so I definitely recommend it. For what it's worth, when my SIL tried it when she was TTC, she got totally antsy lying there for 1/2 an hour and decided not to go back, so it's certainly not for everyone. But I'd definitely give it a try if you have the time!
Last edited by KitKat72; May 15th, 2010 at 10:38 AM.
Hi all,
KitKat72 - congrats
Puffgirl11 - welcome, July seems a long time, but it will come around soon enough, just concentrate on looking after you
babydownunder - fingers crossed for you, I don't know what helps during the TWW. maybe distractions, but in the end they seem all so superficial... remember we are allowed to have our negative moments too
Nat82 - I so relate to you just having a break from it all, being so thoughtful about food choices, exerecise and everything
Registered User
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks