I just wanted to have a vent - I'm on my first cycle (opu next week they guess) and I'm having a bit of a depressing time - I hear everyone say how lovely the nurses are but for some reason they haven't been lovely to me at all! i am starting to wonder if it's just me bringing out the worst in people or what...
Main problem is I am a total zombie ever since i started the meds. People tell me to go home from work, I nearly failed my exams, and no one thought to mention brainlessness as a side effect or I would never have done this over the exam period! I am not trying to blame anyone but I wish I had known, it is so extreme i dont know what day it is half the time!
I mentioned it to a nurse she's like you're probly just anxious... I only found out on google some people get this fog thing. I havent had time to be anxious about the ivf with my exams and my husband is seriously ill, and I'm under so much pressure but I'm 34 so can't really wait around for some kind of 'good' time (is that what they think I shouldn't do it till I can prioritise it and have enough money not to work?) That's not an option cos my husband is chronically ill and always will be, in extreme pain.
I do admit to being hormonal and crying a lot which I know is normal but I so didn't expect the zombie thing. Twice I have forgetten to phone for my test results in the one hour I am allowed to ring, and I think this is why they have been treating me badly - the nurse just rang me now and gave me a big lecture on 'taking responsibility for it' - except other times I call (I have to struggle to get a break from work anyway) and they do not answer the phone at all for an hour, don't phone back from voicemails, or I go in in person and they ignore you for an hour and a half and you hear the phone ringing and they're like don't bohter answering that hun and keep gossiping to each other and ignoring us in the waiting room! They didnt give us the info booklet cos they ran out and when I said I didnt have it she acted like i was lying and had lost it...
Some other nurses were nice it's not all of them at least. When I said i am just so tired and my brain doesn't work, she said well everyone experiences that and they dont forget to call and I dont know how to tell her how extreme it is - i keep being told to come home from work (havent told work ppl) - I was trying to copy a date of birth from a bit of paper and i literally couldn't do it, some one came into the room for ten minutes and I had no idea they had been in, people are looking at me like I'm losing it and telling me I am not functioning. Surely this isn't normal or someone would have told me to expect the side effect of NO BRAIN? I told them before we started I had exams but not during the opu they were like that's fine... Too late now
I feel so devalued and not like a person. like an animal or something. I seriously never have trouble getting on with anyone and I know medical people are under heaps of pressure, but I can't make sense of it. I also wonder if it's to do with my religion since we asked for a few eggs only to be fertilised cos we want them all to have a chance and the specialist was really against it and tried to force me to do it his way... It was so awful he was like do you want a baby or not you are going to die childless otherwise so you need to fertilise 20 eggs and you don't have a choice its we who make the choices . When we hadn't even decided to go ahead with ivf at that point and i was trying to say i needed to talk to my husband about it (he was too ill to be there _. So I guess all that's on my file and maybe people think i dont deserve to come if I don't do it their way or think I am acting spoiled like I dont appreciate their service? How can I make them change their view of me? I dreading going into the clinic now because of this which only makes everything harder... Makes me feel like they think i am not fit to be a mother if iam not uber together!
I know the not having kids thing is much worse and all this is just a temporary problem I guess. But I won't take it lightly next time if I can't take the time off work!! And definitely not exams!!!
Anyway just hoping someone here could understand and send me a hug or tell me any helpful advice?
The first time I did this it was so hard. I understand your problem with the hour calling window. Unless it's the weekend I'm working and a couple of times I've been a bit late in calling. The nurses have never given me a hard time about it though! You shouldn't be made to feel that you don't deserve treatment.
It sounds like the medication is really not agreeing with you. Feeling depressed and foggy isn't unheard of - you should have an information sheet with your meds that lists common side effects - I'm pretty sure these are included. You could speak to a pharmacist if you're having a hard time with the clinic, although the clinic staff should be aware of these things.
Have you got someone who could communicate with them on your behalf?
It's a very difficult and overwhelming process. I hope things improve from here for you.
sounds like the meds are really knocking you around, poor thing. Perhaps talk to your doctor about other optoins. you may not be able to chagne for this cycle, but if you have to do another (though hopefully not, obviously) then it might be worth changing things a bit. That said, the staff don't sound super friendly! It's hard enough doing this without supportive people helping you through. A clinc change could be a good idea - do you know anybody who's used a fertility clinic where you are that you could ask for advice?
On the religious thing, I guess, from a medical perspective, they want to give you the best possible chance at success. The more eggs they fertilise, the more embryos you'll end up with and so the more chances you'll have. That's not to say they should not respect your wishes - they're your eggs afer all.
You might like to join in the chat in our LT TTC & Assisted Conception thread - there are lots of other ladies there currently cycling.
This is my first time doing IVF. I have just started sniffing Synarel and have just done my first injection of Gonal F. I am doing a short cycle and are very anxious. My DH and I have been TTC for nearly 4 years until we got tested and now we are doing IVF & ICSI for our first go. I really want this to work how ever I am realistic and know that it could take a while. Has anyone had any success first time? None of my friends have had to go through this and when you are waiting at the clinic to do all the tests etc no one really wants to talk. I wonder if there is anyone who can share their experiences and offer some advice on what to expect other than the nurses who seem to say things very verbatim.
Hi saraz, geez your clinic dosnt sound very good at all, they sound horrible! u poor thing. as for your foogyness i agree with kass maybe your body isnt respondning very well to it, after egg collection and on the 2ww i was very emotional and depressed but that was the only symptom i had. Dont let them feel you dont deserve to be a mother because if you didnt you wouldnt be there, your paying them thousands of dollars so you are intitled to have your say. Maybe you colud change clinics? I wish you goodluck with your exams and your IVF journey xxx
Hi new too IVF, welcome to the IVF journey. unlike you i had very high expectations, im 23 and DH is 25 i thought we would fall first or 2nd go but we didnt, im on our 3rd FET cycle and i got a BFP but im pretty sure iv lost it this is the hardest time, i feel like we have already gone through so much and now i have the stress of have we lost it. The only side affect to the medication from the STIM cycle was during our 2ww, i was very emotional and depressed and it lasted for about a week. This is a great site for advice and experience there are lots of wonderful woman going through the same thing. good luck xxx
venting.. first cycle and need hugs already!
_. So I guess all that's on my file and maybe people think i dont deserve to come if I don't do it their way or think I am acting spoiled like I dont appreciate their service? How can I make them change their view of me? I dreading going into the clinic now because of this which only makes everything harder... Makes me feel like they think i am not fit to be a mother if iam not uber together!
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