We have all been through so much because of the evil ex, 7 years of it....we have been through it all...cops, abuse charges, neglect, voilence, threats, games, texts, calls,...u name it......and i know the children must be confused because she is bipolar..so its always up and down over there...she is not the greatest mother thats for sure and she is very selfish.....she has put them through the ringer.

So sometimes yes i think i should be more understanding because they are children and they have been through alot......but then we have also been through alot and i need to protect my children and there up bringing. I want them to be able to have the chance to have a normal, stable life without all this stuff. Its also because there is 4 step kids and 2 are teenagers...so its very very challenging...with the swearing, stealing, bullying, lying, disrespect, games etc etc etc im just over all the drama and stress thats brought into our lives..and i dont want it around DD2 and a new baby........and if they come it would be like starting all over again and having to teach respect, and manners, and the proper way to live and to be honest i dont think i have the strength again..defiantly not with 4 of them plus our 2.........it was a battle with the eldest two.....and its just hard when there not you're own children......plus we dont have the room and just cant afford it.......so its always on my mind......waiting waiting waiting for the time we have got them all...so i am always on edge..

I dunno i just struggle with it....