I did it, I told DD about her biological father

[Shades]

Yes there isn't any right time for her to deal with this, but at 6 she is completely emotionally and psychologically unequipped to deal with this and process it on her own.

I think the younger DD is 6 - the one that was told is nearly 9 (from the other thread). So a little older and perhaps more capable of processing?
I do agree that the Dad should have been involved but by all accounts (also in the other thread) he was flat-out refusing to even have the conversation - the OP felt it was wrong to withhold the information and was quite upset at being made to continue the deception, so in desperation took this opportunity when it came up.

[Miss_Dee]

I don't really know much about your situation, just what I've seen in here. But you did the right thing, without a doubt. My mum and uncle are both adopted and always knew.They were so young when they were told they don't actually remember. Same with me, my sisters and cousins, we've always known Mum and my uncle are adopted. My Pop is actually Mum's Step Dad and even though her Father was in her life, Pop was always more of a Father in the sense that he helped raise her while her Father was off with his other family. My Uncle's eldest daughter is not biologically his, he met my Aunty when my cousin was a baby and he ended up adopting her. I believe she was around 10 when she was told. Despite all of this, our family is our family. Mum and my Uncle see my Nan as their Mother, no question. My Uncle's biological parents contacted him a few years ago and they have a great relationship, but that doesn't change the fact that Nan is his Mum. Nan and Pop are Nan and Pop to all of us kids. Blood means nothing as far as we are concerned. DNA doesn't make you a parent, it's the relationship that makes you a parent. I can see why your DH is reacting the way he is, but it is unfair and very childish. It would do far more damage to the relationship both of you have with your DD for her to find out later in life by some other means.

Nan gave Mum this beautiful poem which I think is appropriate and is really what DH should focus on.

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.