perceived issues for larger families

[tiggy]

I'm just wondering how you meet the expense in terms of larger families?
Especially if you live in a capital city (like Sydney)?
IS it possible to have 3 kids and live in Sydney without wearing sackcloth?? We lived in Beecroft (renting) and built a house on the coast with our then 3 children and I think we dressed accordingly for the Sydney culture. We had a few really nice outfits for all of the girls and then just the daggy stuff for home. I don't know though, the last time I went to Sydney, sackcloths were all the fashion!

Childcare costs alone must be prohibitive? I've had all of my girls in care at some stage or another and must admit that it was expensive. Now I don't use care at all but I will again when it comes time for preschool. I think that it's important before school. I guess I'll wear those costs as they come.

How do you afford fresh fruit and vegies, when white bread and sausages are so cheap?? Fresh fruit and vegies are very important to us and so they are a top priority.We don't use white bread either, only multigrain or wholemeal. It's just part of our budget to have good food, although we do have sausages and there have been times when I have done lots of imaginative things with mince. My kids are all ok though, not overweight or undernourished or anything although recently they complained they were sick of chicken and salad!
Do you find you get less family and friends support if you have lots of kids? I think DH's family feels overwhelmed sometimes but they and my Mum have always been supportive of us. We don't go out very often but that's ok. I'm happy to be with my kids, that's why I have so many. They bring me immense joy. Last year, when Ivy and Noah were 10 months old, my mum took them all for the weekend and sent David and I away for our anniversary. It was weird for us and I was worried that mum wouldn't cope but she took it all in her stride! I work night dutY atm so I don't have to rely on anyone to babysit.

What sort of car do you use and why - as in what do you like about it? We have a Ford Transit (looney) bus. We have it out of need. It was the only vehicle big enough for all of us. I don't like it at all.It's white and large and It drives like a...well, a ... BUS but it works and fits us in nicely and has room in the back for two prams or one pram and all the groceries on food shop day.

what would you do differently (not in terms of numbers of kids just coping/life strategies)? eg. live somewhere different, have a different career, space them closer together etc. I think the only thing I would do if I had a choice would be to have them closer together. There is an eight year gap between Lily and Ivy and Noah, which seems very big atm. She will be in High school when they start infants, so they won't have anyone older to hold their hands on their first day.

How do you do things like go to the beach/pool and keep an eye on them all? How do you try and not make it an expedition or is that not possible? Everything that we do is pretty much an expidition!
The key for us is plan, plan, plan. Also, everyone has to pitch in, that's just the way it is. Even the little foster boy, who is developmentally delayed, has to help.
When we go out we have a buddy system. Everyone has to look out for each other, everyone is responsible for keeping us all together (although ultimately it is David and I who are responsible) it just helps to keep good family dynamics in that everyone has someone who cares about where they are. It works really well. I also give my kids plenty of warning. For example, if we are at the beach and one comes up to the towel area, I might tell her that we will be going in ten minutes and to pass the word. They are all pretty good when I say it's time to go, because they know that if it doesn't all go like clockwork, it probably won't happen again for a long while.
The other big thing for me is trust. I trust that my kids will do the right thing, although I am watching them at all times, I give a little and reap the rewards.

And lastly can you leave them alone with say the baby, or is this not an issue for you? I'm sure my 4 yr old is going to squish the baby's (8months) head. In the beginning I felt nervous because I&N were so little but again, the trust factor came into play. The big girls and even the eldest foster boy are all fantastic with them, Lily too and Mal knows not to pick them up. I guess they are all older than toddlers though but even when the big girls were two and Lily was newborn, I still felt ok to leave them for a short time.

Do your kids mind sharing rooms (I'm assuming you're not all rich! lol) when other kids don't have to? or sharing things all the time? My kids don't mind sharing at all, in fact they all admit to feeling lonely when they are on their own. Maddy and Lily do talk alot at night but they settle down after a while and Maddy is getting to the age now where she realises that if she doesn't sleep she doesn't function well the next day.
With sharing 'things'. Everyone has some special stuff that are off limits unless permission is given, everything else is to be shared. Sometimes there are fights, I won't lie but most of the time, they play really well together and I think, being in a big family teaches you to be good at sharing and teaches you skills in compromise.

[Monabap]

This is an interesting topic. We just moved to Sydney and I have four kids (and am far from rich) lol.
I had one (wierd) woman stop me at Town Hall station and interrigate me about whether or not I was rich and how I can afford to have four kids and some wierd stuff like that.

I don't know the answer to all your questions above as we just moved here three months ago, but I'm learning about where cheap shops are that have regularly reduced fresh foods - meet, produce, dairy - that is definitely helpful.. plus budgeting carefully.
My kids are at a public school. A lot of their clothes have been hand me downs or gifts which helps too. As for room sharing, they actually prefer to share a room - they are still young though. I cook most of our food rather than eating out.
As for cars, can't really answer that - right now I'm borrowing a Toyota Echo - tiny little car LOL I hope to buy a second hand mini van of some sort soon though.