Surname Advice

[~clover~]

If thats the case, I really think your DP should reconsider putting his name on the birth certificate. He won't need to adopt the baby officially for you to change the name (my ex's name was changed at 10), again, your child can have any name you want, but it would make life easier in every way if you were to put your DP down as the father.

Also, you can just leave the name of the father blank on the birth certificate. Women do fall pregnant unexpectedly without really knowing the father to be able to put details on it. You don't need an affidavit for those situations.

If you did it now, nothing would need to be explained to centrelink, CSA wouldn't need to get involved & you won't have to do all that paperwork later on.

Does your DP still consider this his baby, even though he's not the bio father? Maybe you need to talk to him about this. If you two were to seperate down the track, would he still have a relationship with the baby? It seems because you guys went through other measures to conceive, that he really doesn't feel as though its his child & I think you really need to address that now. He needs to commit in full now, before the baby comes. A father is the person who loves & raises a child, not the person who supplied the DNA.

[TaRhLi.]

I have a friend who has just gotten pregnant via a donor (through an IVF clinic) and her husband is being named as the father on the Birth Certificate as to her husband he is and forever will be the father of this child. She told me that there will then be an addendum (spell??) to the birth certificate with a donor number so if the child wishes to make contact at a later stage then it is recorded but to all intents and purposes her husband is seen in all circumstances as being the father of the child not the donor.

If your partner sees himself as being the 'father' of this baby and is going to be there for the rest of it's life, then I think he should be on the birth certificate. If however he views the child as being 'yours' and will only be in it's life as a father figure while you are together (this could be forever or shorter) then you may want to omit him from the birth certificate and use your name.

[LionsandBears]

Say the baby had been conceived with a donor egg, would you put yourself as the mother on the birth certificate or the donor? We dont need to know all the details, but if your DF wants to be this child's father, then why wouldnt he put his name on the birth certificate? Will the child have another father? If not, then I think it would be best for the child to have the man who raises him/her named as the father.

[r8ch]

Personally I would never give a child a name of someone who was not their biological parent. What happens if you break up with this guy? Then your child has a name of someone you may never see again. All very well to say you'd change it but a name is part of a child's identity. You can't just change it on a whim.

My advice? Give the child your surname.

Agree with this

[RainbowRiver]

I'd forgotten about this thread.

Ive since spOken with BDM about the situation and have been told that when I register bub, I need to include a stat dec and where bubs surname comes from (should we use DF's).

After a lot of discussion, bub will have my name. Once we get married then we will consider changing his/her surname, just like I'll change my own.

Just on a side note, whilst DF knows its not his child, he will raise bub as his own and be known as dad