No, no, no.... you have it all wrong that's me wearing the evil stepmother crown!

DS1 and DSS are both the same age. When I reprimand DS1 I don't have a second thought. When I reprimand DSS I worry that I'm going to (a) drive him away; (b) p-off DH; (c) give him something to tell his mother about; (d) all of the above!