I think it is a bit over the top. I had a big traditional baby shower for DD1 and then for DD2 and 3 I had a meet up with my gfs. I insisted on no gifts but I still got some. My aim was to catch up with my friends before I was housebound for another 12 months or so.
I personally didn't have a baby shower for DD1 or DD2 but my friends and family are scattered everywhere... lol
I don't see a problem with it, just because your having a baby shower does not mean you expect people to bring gifts, it's a celebration of the fact your going to have another gorgeous bundle of joy.
It's a time to spend with your girlfriends (or male friends if invited), have a chat, some great food and enjoy yourself.
For friends that have had second and third babies, we have just met as a group of friends in a coffee shop and a nominated person has collected money and purchased a joint present from everyone (usually consisting of nappies - cloth or disposable depending on the person) - and a couple of other small practical items like baby lotions. It has been more about catching up as a group of friends and I really enjoy these 'baby showers'. It is just an afternoon out with friends and I think we all use a new baby as a great excuse to go and catch up.
I did have one with DD, and it was overwhealming, I was over showered and it was quite embarrassing as it wasn't what I expected at all
I provided a heap of nibbles (ie tapas style), drinks and some pretty hilarious games and we did have an awesome afternoon, but it was held at a friends house, she decorated her house and made the day really special for me. I wanted to provide the food etc as I didn't want that extra load on anyone else. We helped clean up as much as she would let us and it was really lovely to not have to do a spotless clean of the house at that time, but maybe I should have as DD was born 2 days later and I nested at work instead of home! I did get the thankyous written the next night (for some reason I HAD to do it ) and posted them the morning DD was born. I got some hilarious sms's when peeople got them the day after she was born!!!
This time I won't be doing one, perhaps just a high tea or an afternoon out with the girls, no presents. We don't need anything and I don't want anyone to think they have to give me/bubs anything either and I would like to just spend some time with my friends, still celebrate the upcoming arrival of my little one, but without the whoo haaa of a shower
I think that baby showers are a celebration of pregnancy, of new life. My husband (then DF) didn't want our workmates to be aware of my pregnancy until it couldn't be hidden. As a result, pretty much everyone thought it was an "oopsy" although it was very strongly planned! I strongly believe that not celebrating my pregnancy has led to some of my problems with not connecting with my child.
Having said that, I didn't have a baby shower. I didn't have a hens' night. I didn't have an engagement party. We haven't celebrated any of the major milestones in our shared life - our wedding was an exception as my mum wouldn't have otherwise (and paid for it all). My husband doesn't see the point of celebrating birthdays - I'm lucky to get a card. And all of this causes me sadness. different values, you see. If I'm lucky enough to get preggers again, I want a baby shower. I want to celebrate the life growing inside me, to feel the support of those around me for the future of my child and myself. I don't want to feel alone (again).
And that's what I think baby showers, hens nights, birthdays, engagements, weddings and naming/christening days are all about. It's about allowing the people in your life to share your milestones with you. It's like the wedding ceremony - when the celebrant / priest asks the other married couples to support those standing before them. And reminds those already married of their vows.
I don't think its rude at all, afterall it is celebrating a new baby. And it doesn't mean that all the guests have to bring gifts. If it makes you feel better you can add on the invitation that its just a celebration and gifts aren't neccessary.
With my baby shower, i am having it as a sort of get together before i will be a mum, and will give all my friends and family the chance to ask questions (ones that dont have kids) and for me to ask those who have kids questions and also for advice to be given. Also there would be games. I'm half tempted to have it that DP comes and his friends too but he thinks baby showers are a woman thing and he wants to just have his own which is him going to the pub enjoying his last few weeks of no responsibility.
But back to your question, i dont think its rude at all you should be allowed to celebrate every child you have. You would know if it would offend your friends and family.
I am glad your mum is holding a second shower for you hun, I think a celebration of new life is a wonderful thing because ALL new life is precious and something to be celebrated.
I have always wondered why people are so cynical. I mean assuming everyone who holds a celebration of sorts "expects gifts" is a little rough, not saying anyone here is like this, but if thats the first thing that crosses ones mind is it because that is what one feels for themselves deep down that they themselves would "expect a gift" ????
I loved every minute of my baby shower, I had been through a lot to get to that point and so it was a massive thing for me to celebrate. Yes I did not expect gifts, Yes I got embarrassed by peoples generosity and Yes I was very deeply touched by everyones thoughtfulness.
Will I have another one??
No, HOWEVER, if someone else wanted to throw one I would not object. I would have a "meet the baby" celebration for all following children mainly because it knocks off everyone who would want to visit in one foul swoop
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) and posted them the morning DD was born. I got some hilarious sms's when peeople got them the day after she was born!!!
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