You could do the party in the park for the kids (and maybe just the grandparents as well
.....and then send a message or email invite to everyone else to say we are meeting at (name of place) for a couple of drinks and a casual lunch to celebrate DD's 2nd birthday. If you would like to come and join us and share in some cake (that part is optional) then we will be there between (start and end time).
That way they are all buying their drinks and meal, if they want one or just drinks or just come for cake and you arent cartering or paying for heaps of people. If you go to a pub or RSL club that has an outdoor area (most have play areas for kids as well nowadays) you can just book a big table and see who turns up. If noone turns up well you still had a bday lunch for DD's bday and they cant be offended that they werent included in celebrations IYKWIM.
Personally I think that kids' birthday parties are for kids, so if I were you I'd only invite people with kids of a similar age to the birthday boy. There are plenty of other occasions, e.g. your own birthday, anniversaries, Christmas, etc, where you have the opportunity to invite your friends and other people important to you. So for a 2nd birthday, I'd limit the guest list to preschoolers and their parents.
Also, before I had DD I would have felt uncomfortable being invited to a kids' party if I didn't have a child of my own. The few parties that I was invited to in this situation I made an appearance to be polite, but didn't feel comfortable staying... It would be terrible if you catered to a lot of people only to have them stay for half an hour, then leave.
DS is two in May and I've already started thinking about this. His 1st b'day was a 'we survived 12 months' kinda thing so we invited everyone who's been with us along the way, mainly adults. He also had a joint 1st birthday with my mother's group. this year it'll be his 'friends' only - those he has play dates with. Or, we'll just do a family party and leave the 'friends' party til he's 3 or older, when he actually has friends and knows what it all means.
If you didn't have a 1st b'day, you might want this to be an 'all in' kinda thing (i.e. it's a party for you too), but maybe just make it small nibbles and just a couple of hours. BYO drinks too. We found a lot of people didn't come to ours so our list of about 45 ended up being just over 25.
If you want it to be just for him, then it's ok to leave out YOUR friends that don't have kids, or even your friends that have older kids, and just invite the kids his age who he actually plays with. Address the invite to the child and if anyone is offended, explain what you're doing - e.g. You can come and help supervise, but there won't be any adult food/drink and it's all two year olds and tanties, lol!!!
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