Dh's Nanna passed away today. Unfortunately Dh is overseas with his job at the moment and wont be here for the funeral. He really wants me to go in his stead but I obviously have 3 kids to worry about. If its a weekend I have babysitting available to be able to go solo but if its weekday (and my inlaws are trying hard to make it a weekend) then Im stuck. Aside from splitting up the kids if I can find friends to take them I have no other option but to take them.
Whats the etiquette for kids and funerals? I can remember attending funerals quite young of family members. Is it a immediate family kids only? Is it no kids at all for the service? No kids at all period? Im happy to try and book a hotel with babysitting if I have to.
Depends on the child. I would say children are people and therefore are welcome at events people are - so long as they behave like adults when appropriate.
If your children can sit still and quiet for the service, join in respectfully with any singing they may have to do, behave appropriately at the wake - then take them.
hmmm normally I would say for littlies who are unlikely to be quite that its not a good idea HOWEVER, in your instance the children are the great grandchildren. Therefore I think they should be there, they are related, and as much a part of Nannas family as anyone else.
it really depends on the kids and the relationship you have with the person i think
i took DD to my great uncle's funeral on Wednesday. he was a grandfather figure in her life and adored her (and she him) - plus we had to drive 6 hours each way. there was no one we could leave her with for that amount of time
no one even raised an eyebrow at her being there. she was one of about 10 kids (at a guess) at a church/cathedral service, with a packed house - and it was just what it was. one mum had to take her kids outside as they just weren't coping with the solemnity of the moment, but none of the others did (kids ranging from about 8 weeks up to 11)
if you feel that they will be ok, there is no reason not to take them - but ultimately only you can decide if they'll cope. will your IL's help you out if it gets too much for you wrangling all three?
Im not entirely sure BG. They know my predicament so thats why theyre going to try and make it a friday/saturday funeral so I dont have to choose. Its important to DH that Im there when he cant be. I think Ds1 would be fine, the other two not so much. I cant take one but not the others; but Ds2 has autism and Im not entirely sure how he would go being left with friends and Ds3 isnt even 3 and has never been away from me while at someone else's house iykwim?
yeah i totally get that - it's the same reason we took DD to my uncles funeral. do you have anyone that can cope with the boys outside for a while if it gets too much for them inside - so they're only apart from you a short time?
I dont think so. We're waiting to see what the funeral day is before we try and organise something. Theyre trying for a friday but its not looking likely. Its a bit of a painful situation because any of the people Id leave them with here, their husbands work away or are way in similar job to my DH so I feel bad asking them to take on one of mine for 2 nights even though theyve offered. My bestie will have them at our house if its a friday/weekend because her hubby is home on from friday-sunday.
Will the funeral be at a church or funeral home. I do a few funerals amd if it's at a church you can usually ask if someone would be available to look after the children in the creche. Sometimes there is a small fee for this person.
Funerals and kids?
Reply With Quote
Nae x
Bookmarks