Do you find this rude?

[dusty]

Its a plate of food. Something I sometimes provide whether asked or not, when I go to friends place or party (including kid's parties) to contribute to the occasion and the effort they have made. Its interesting to me that this topic has generated so much feeling. Perhaps there are some cultural norms I haven't been exposed to .
Just because it isn't the way some of you would hold a party, doesn't mean it is wrong or rude IMO, it is just different.

[briggsy's girl]

Maybe I live in a snooty area... parties here, especially kids parties are very formal. Way more formal than a BBQ.

Aren't humans funny creatures We all have our little ways...

we must be in a snooty area too Cai! definitely more importance placed on kids parties than BBQ gatherings. around here, BBQ's (unless for a specific party like a birthday) are pretty much "the grill will be on at X time, we'll supply this, if you want to come along, come along"

funny how different people see things differently...

[Indadhanu]

ETA: the implications of presents always seems more offensive to me than "bring a plate"...

[Phteven]

LOL definately not snooty round here - there's nothing formal about our children's parties, they're all about the children going nuts.

[briggsy's girl]

formal doesn't mean it's not fun! just means it's more organised before you start - you have the food and games there ready to go - then you let the kids go nuts - you don't rely on other people to bring stuff to cater your do...

[maz]

My nose is right up my own butt then

there is no way on this earth I would ask anyone to bring food, gift or drinks to a gathering of the maz kind!!!!!!

So yes...its rude in my eyes and I sure as hell wouldnt be going

[Phteven]

Just because I wouldn't do it doesn't mean that I think it's rude or that I would refuse an invitation. Like Dusty I usually like to take along a little something anyway.

[~Hestia~]

I agree that this is rude. You can't expect everyone else to cater for your child's birthday party. You throw a party to make a fuss of your child, I would assume that the food is a part of that fuss. What are the kid's families actually doing?
It's not the cost or the effort of having to take something - it's the principle of it.

[BeautifulMadness]

Is ur DD good friends with them all? Cause if shes not and only good friends with one of em id be buying one present for her and plate and thats that. Its rude to ask a parent to buy a present for maybe 2 kids ur child isnt friends with to start with. Does it mention anything about bringing a pressie along?

[Tinks]

DD speaks of the girls often but it's only a small school so she pretty much speaks about everyone.

I'm going to call one of the mothers tomorrow for clarification.

[Anila]

Ok, so i just asked my mum what she thought, and she thinks that afternoon tea is provided, bring a plate, means, ill provided the food, can u bring a plate to eat off.

I originally never thought of it like that, but now i can see that side also.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Ok, so i just asked my mum what she thought, and she thinks that afternoon tea is provided, bring a plate, means, ill provided the food, can u bring a plate to eat off.

I originally never thought of it like that, but now i can see that side also.

I wondered that too, but didnt the invite say, 'to share' ? However confusing!

[Anila]

ok so i forgot about the

to share

part, so i called mum back, and she thinks for a kids party thats rude, oh well.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I agree with the others - "Come to my party" means "rock up with yourselves - maybe a bottle of wine" whereas a group of friends saying "where shall we meet, who will host?" means "bring some food and drink because it could be you next time".

I would NOT host a party and ask people to bring food! I would say "hey, fancy a barbie as it's the one good day of summer today, I'll get the meat in if you can bring a pudding" or "Bring some beers round and we'll watch the footie/girlie film together, I'll get in the snacks". That's not a party though, that's informal and not sending out a paper invite! (BTW, I am English so we have less of the "bring a plate" culture but we do still do it!)

I wouldn't expect a child's birthday party to be free childcare. For one thing, a 10-year-old doesn't need much childcare (from memory!), for another if children are young you stay and watch your children. I don't expect miracles, I don't expect caviar and champagne at a child's party, but I do expect to just turn up. And yes, I do take a gift as I'd take one for my friend who was hosting a party, maybe not flowers/wine for a child but a little something. BTW, I find birthday presents more offensive than party presents. As if you should expect a gift because of the date! Especially when others ignore you all year, then a token gift as if they are actually bothered. At least a party you've done the whole invite/talk to/actually like the person sort of thing.

I host a party, I provide (and gracefully accept offers of food, but not expect them). I have some mates over for an impromptu night in, we all bring a little something. I think that's normal etiquette and after seeing "afternoon tea - if you bring it!" I'd be livid and having a serious word with the parents.

BTW, DS's parties... cost maybe twenty five quid. OK so I don't do balloons and do it in my home, but I do make food and don't epect anyone else to contribute unless they offered to!

[ezymay]

My BF has a set of twins and a son who have b'days all close together and she is having a joint b'day party for them this year and she is very aware of friends buying 3 gifts for all of them and is going to request ppl don't worry about gifts and she isn't asking for food! I have never been to a kids party where I have been asked to bring food, even when I was a kid.

As for BBq's in our circle we all say brink meat and drinks (alchoholic) and the host does the rest. We are all happy to do that. Meat is so expensive.

[Marlene]

My nose is right up my own butt then

there is no way on this earth I would ask anyone to bring food, gift or drinks to a gathering of the maz kind!!!!!!

So yes...its rude in my eyes and I sure as hell wouldnt be going

I wanna come to one of your parties!!! LOL

The only parties we have ever been asked to "bring a plate" to are family BBQ's, the host usually supplies the house and the meat...and family members bring something each...a salad, bread rolls, dips etc.....but we have a VERY big family, so if the host had to cater everything we would never have get togethers as it would be too expensive!

[Turkish Delight]

Yes, i do find it rude.

3 mothers that can't organise party food are downright lazy.

I agree with the others, take a plate of chips but not the pressies.

Lazy b*tches.

I would never ask anybody to bring a plate of food or drinks to any of my do's. Just come, everything supplied - food, beer, wine, alcopops, ouzo (alcohol not supplied at the kids parties though, of course)

[Anila]

,(alcohol not supplied at the kids parties though, of course)

Hubby and i have taken a the kids to a few birthday parties held at the parents house, where the parents can stay, and the dads have handed out beers and wine to the parents staying, we were like , wow!