Sorry Misty but I read your post as a stand alone post as it did not quote the response it was in reply too and therefore it appeared on the face of it to be directed to me. I apologise.
I am grateful to everyone who has taken the time to respond and share there valuable life experiences.
I would never presume to ask a parent why my DD wasnt invited to their child's party. The thought horrifies me with its tackiness to be honest. As wonderful as my DD is I know that not every child or parent is going to like her and want her at their party and I am okay with that. My job is to make sure she's okay with that. It's not my job to petition other parents for an invitation on her behalf.
It is not likely to be an oversight to be honest. I'm sure your DS is the best little kid in the world but the harsh reality is that he wont be invited to every party. There'll come a day you'll be thankful for that
I have been on both sides. Upset that DD1 was not getting invites, but then also being the mum choosing NOT to invite certain children. It is hard being on both sides.
Hurt for her about friendships maybe not being what we thought they were, also blaming myself, thinking it was due to me not being great friends with the other parents.
Then turning around and not putting invites into the pigeon holes of certain frenemies who DD was desperate to have at her party, as I did not want to encourage the friendship.
I think it is better for them to learn early one that not everyone gets invited, including themselves. As parents we need to learn how to deal with them being individuals along with the ups and downs of their friendships.
I haven't been in this situation yet but I'm sure I will be.
I think my stance would be this. If I liked DD's friend and she wanted to invite her for a playmate, then I'd keep inviting her. Kids don't choose their parents and if for some unknown reason, the parents did not like me or my child then that's their problem.
As for the party, extremely tricky, but again, if I liked DD's friend then I'd hope we could move past it. Maybe the parents over-ruled them. At the end of the day there's a myriad of possibilities but if the children want to be friends and if I think the other child is a 'good kid' then I'd hope I could prioritise that.
Whole different kettle of fish if I didn't want DD to be friends with a particular kid. There's a couple of girls at DD's kindy who seem (admittedly from the very snatched interaction I've had with them so far) to be a bit mean. I won't be encouraging that friendship even though their mums seems absolutely lovely and people I'd get on well with. On the other side, the kids who DD plays with the most seem kind and a lot of fun. Unfortunately, their mums seem boring and one-dimensional. Clearly, I'm going to have to suck it up.
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