An etiquette question - What would you do?

[~Trish~]

I was doing a clean-out the other day and found the cards we received when DS2 was born 12 months (nearly!) ago. I was suprised when I found a cheque for $40 inside one card from MIL's good friend whom I have only met a handful of times. I must have forgotten about the cheque and just put the card in the pile of other cards. I told DH and he said we should bank it because it is rude not to. I think it is rude to bank it 12 months later! I am happy to tear it up, but DH thinks it is impolite. I would feel so embarrased if we bank it! It makes me think of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer encouraged Jerry to bank all the cheques his nanna had sent him for his birthday over the years LOL!

So, what is the etiquette in a situation like this? What would you do? It would be so much easier if it was cash !

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Personally I don't think I would - only because the way I see it is that when someone gives a cheque they have that money at the time, if they don't have it now it causes more problems that what they have given!!!
But, I can see where your DH is coming from saying that it's rude not to, because it like not accepting the gift. However, if it was given twelve months ago I imagine that they gifter is not going to know the difference.

[Liz]

cheques are only valid for 12 months anyway i think.

I dunno. I'd probably contact them and tell them what happened. Thank them profusely and ask if it's ok to bank it (in case they don't have the money in the bank).

[DaintreeDream]

You could have bought something nice with the money but I agree with you, it is too late to bank, she will see it come out of her account and what if she cannot afford it now?! I don't know if it is even possible to bank it after so long?

Deanne.

[Phteven]

I hate it when people bank cheques late because it always catches you by surprise. If she is on a tight budget a $40 cheque being cashed without warning could overdraw her account or get bounced which could cost her extra fees and if it's bounced some embarrassment as well.
I think that although it's rude not to accept a present it would be ruder to cash a cheque without warning.
Maybe you could write her a thank-you note saying that you were so rushed at the time with a new baby that you put the card and cheque and aside and you only just found it again now. That way she would have some warning of your intentions. Of course if you've aready sent your thank-you note that wouldn't work.

[~Trish~]

I didn't realise cheques can expire! Maybe I'll use that as my excuse to DH

I too was worried that she may not have the funds anymore (hence the reference to the Seinfeld episode LOL!).

I don't think I'd contact her to let her know, I feel so silly .

Thanks for your replies ladies

[briggsy's girl]

i would say it has expired by now - and if not, it's probably really close to expiring hun!

take it as a lesson learned - always double check everything when you get home from hospital!

[Aimz]

cheques are only valid for 12 months anyway i think.

Cheques are valid for 15 months. I think in this case you shouldn't bank it because the person probably thinks it has already been cashed or has forgotten about it completely (I know I wouldn't remember!). The likely scenario if you do cash it is that they will ring up their bank asking what the $40 cheque was.

[~Trish~]

take it as a lesson learned - always double check everything when you get home from hospital!

Absolutely, but the last thing I want to do after just giving birth is go into a bank to bank a cheque LOL!

Silly me, hopefully she has forgotten all about it! If it was someone I knew well I'd contact them and have a laugh (and still not bank it!).

[Liz]

depends how they handle their finances. I would have thought they would have already noticed that the cheque was still outstanding.

I still think I would contact her.. even if it's through MIL.. play the 'distracted new mother' card and giggle it off hehe. I would want to at least acknowledge that money was given in the first place. I'd feel bad that I hadn't specifically thanked her for money. but that's me

[briggsy's girl]

i don't go to banks often either - i just have a little hidey hole of "next time i'm in town" stuff

at the moment, there are two cheques, and a medicare rebate all sitting there waiting for me to get my stuff together


maybe tomorrow...

[Ozziehoffy]

If it were me I wouldn't cash it. In the days when I had a cheque book...many moons ago lol... I know that if I wrote a cheque then I calculated it as cashed, so if 12 months on someone cashed a cheque it would certainly throw a spanner in the works as it would be unexpected.

[Astrolady]

Yep I'd be another that would just rip it up and have been known to do so. I put cheques in "safe spots" and then find them again when it is too late LOL. I live in the city and rarely step foot in a bank, or use the ATMs where you can deposit cheques.

Love