I'm not too sure tbh. When my DHs nana passed away very suddenly (she died 2 weeks before our wedding) all I could do was just be there for support for him. Little did I know, I was asked to be a part of the funeral too, which reduced me to tears. DH spoke for his side of the family (it was his mums mother) and one of his cousins talked for her side of the family (he's only got one uncle)
After he talked, he broke down. They were so close that it was heartbreaking. But, as I said, all I could do was be there for support, and offer support to those who need it.

I remember asking my MIL if she needed anything every single time I saw her. She got a little annoyed at me asking all the time, so I stopped. But I made sure that each time I saw her, I'd give her a hug, or I'd make her a coffee.

I hope what I said has come through as the right thing you wanted to know