i'd offer to leave the beanie you sent for your DD - i wouldn't even look at getting another Dora beannie

if your DD lost it while in her care, it's basically her saying it - and from the food demands recently, i'd be thinking maybe your DD didn't even wear it - it went missing on her kid and she's now trying to push you further to see what you'll give kwim?

FWIW - i'm glad to see your other thread about looking for another carer - sounds like the time is right.